


Young Love at Camelot University

by auspicious_dragon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, M/M, Manga & Anime, Oral Sex, Psychology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:53:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 45,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27481510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auspicious_dragon/pseuds/auspicious_dragon
Summary: Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine, Morgause and Freya meet in an eight-week support group at Camelot University.  Gwen is Merlin's individual counselor who refers him to the group.  Gwaine and Merlin hit it off right away.  Arthur is initially a jerk, but his true colors eventually come out.  Romance blossoms.
Relationships: Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Leon/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merthur
Comments: 15
Kudos: 54





	1. Merlin Seeks Counseling Help at Camelot University

Merlin’s anxiety was skyrocketing. His counselor Gwen had convinced him to join a support group and the first session was about to begin. Merlin had recently started the graduate-entry accelerated medical course at Camelot University. His boyfriend Will had broken up with him two weeks earlier, leaving Merlin devastated—crying all the time and finding it impossible to focus on his demanding coursework. Eventually he realized he couldn’t get through the breakup on his own and so he scheduled an appointment at Camelot University’s Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) Center. 

Merlin felt lucky that Gwen was assigned to be his individual counselor. An absolute sweetheart, she was an apprentice at CAPS, just a few years older than Merlin. She had beautiful brown skin. Lovely auburn curls framed her pretty face. 

“Of course you’re heartbroken, Merlin,” Gwen said. “You and Will were together since your senior year of high school. That’s going on six years. You’re grieving not only losing Will but also losing your hopes and dreams of a life together. It’s going to take time to heal.”

“So, how do I heal?” Merlin asked, wanting desperately for the emotional pain to subside.

“Unfortunately, there’s no formula, no easy answer to that question,” Gwen replied. “But what usually helps is to strike a balance between sometimes allowing yourself to feel the feelings and to express them, and at other times engaging in activities that distract yourself from the pain. It also helps to practice self-care on a regular basis, doing things you find comforting, so long as they’re healthy. Getting emotional support from other people can also be extremely helpful when coping with the end of an important relationship.”

Gwen then asked Merlin about potential sources of emotional support for him. 

“My mum is always there for me,” Merlin said, “but she’s far away, in Ealdor. I know she worries about me, so I pretend that I’m doing better than I am. Other than mum, there aren’t a lot of people I can turn to. I’m new here at Camelot and haven’t made any close friends yet. My college mates are all back in Essetir. Besides they’re Will’s mates too, so it’s awkward to talk to them about our breakup.”

Gwen nodded in empathy. “There’s a graduate and professional student support group starting here at CAPS next week,” she said. “It runs for eight weeks and it’s for students who are dealing with a variety of relationship concerns. It’s on Wednesdays from 3 to 4:30 p.m. I think it could be really helpful for you, Merlin. I believe that there may be at least one other student in the group who’s going through a breakup. Dr. Evan Hastings who runs the group is great. He’s my clinical supervisor. Are you willing to give the group a try?”

Merlin hesitated before answering. Eventually he said, “Well, the day and time work for me, so if you think it’ll help, I’m willing to give it a shot. So long as I can keep seeing you?”

Gwen said, “Of course. Since the group meets weekly and I know the med program will keep you quite busy, let’s plan on meeting once a fortnight, OK?” 

Merlin said, “That sounds good.” Gwen continued, “I’ll let Dr. Hastings know you’ll be joining the group and he’ll contact you before the first session.”

*****

Merlin arrived a few minutes early for the first group session. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His hands felt clammy and his breath was shallow. He tried practicing the diaphragmatic breathing he had learned in yoga class to manage his anxiety. He also tried looking around the room, as it sometimes helped to focus his attention away from himself. A handsome guy with a thick mane of gorgeous brown hair and beautiful, soulful brown eyes gave him a friendly smile. 

Merlin immediately liked the guy and thought, “Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.” 

Other students trickled into the group room and sat in the chairs, which were arranged in a circle. At the exact moment that the digital wall clock displayed 3 p.m. an attractive middle-aged man, wearing a long-sleeved polo shirt and khakis entered and sat in the remaining vacant chair. He smiled broadly before speaking.

“Hello everyone,” the man said. His voice was soft and kind. “I’m Evan Hastings, a senior psychologist here at CAPS and the facilitator of this support group. Please feel free to call me Evan. I’m not very comfortable with formality, so when someone calls me Dr. Hastings, it takes me a while to realize they’re talking to me and not to my mum who’s an MBBS.” This elicited a few chuckles from the students. 

Dr. Hastings continued, “First of all, I want to offer you a warm welcome to the initial session of the Graduate and Professional Student Support Group. I hope that over the next eight weeks this group room will be a safe place for all of you to talk about your concerns and to give and receive emotional support for whatever you are dealing with.” 

After discussing a few group guidelines and the importance of confidentiality, Dr. Hastings said, “So I’m sure you’d all like to learn a little bit about each other, and I’d like to learn more about you as well, so why don’t we go around the room. Please tell us your name and say a little bit about what led you to join this group. Would anyone like to start?”

The handsome man who had smiled at Merlin jumped in right away. “Hi everyone,” he said with a big smile. “I’m Gwaine. I’m in the grad program in Kinesiology. It's my second year here at Camelot. To be completely honest, I joined this group because I’m a bit of a sex addict.” He let out a nervous laugh and continued. “For the past few years I’ve had a lot of one-night-stands and, although it was fun for a while, lately it’s left me feeling kind of empty, if you know what I mean.” 

Merlin felt surprised and impressed by Gwaine’s courageous disclosure. “Wow,” he thought, “if Gwaine can be that open and honest, maybe I can share a bit more than I initially planned to.” 

When his turn came, Merlin said, “Hi guys, I’m a little bit nervous, I’ve never been in a group like this before and I’m not used to talking to people I just met about my personal stuff.” Gwaine gave Merlin an encouraging smile and nodded at him. That gave Merlin courage to continue. “My name is Merlin and I just started the graduate-entry accelerated course in the medical college this semester. I only just moved to Camelot in August and I haven’t made many friends yet. So I’ve been a bit lonely here. But that’s not the main reason I joined this group. I was in a relationship for the past five, almost six years, but a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend Will broke up with me. It’s been really hard …” Merlin’s voice trailed off and his eyes filled with tears. 

A few minutes of silence followed, interrupted by a rather loud, posh voice. “Your boyfriend? So I guess that means you’re gay, huh? Know what, Merlin? No man is deserving of your tears. Don’t be such a girl.”

A few people gasped. The speaker was a good-looking young man in a perfectly tailored business suit over a crisp white button down and bright red and gold tie. Merlin might have been attracted to the guy if he weren’t such an asshole. He was better looking than anyone ought to be, had beautiful golden hair and startling blue eyes, was very muscular, and oozed self-confidence. The guy seemed to be trying to stare Merlin down. 

Gwaine was incensed. “Hey, fuck you, Princess. First off, you’re a fucking homophobe. So what if Merlin's gay? I’m bi and proud. Like we’ve been saying for years to jerks like you, we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it! Second, Merlin gets to feel whatever he feels about losing a five-year relationship. I haven’t even met you and I’m already sick of your macho bullshit.”

A short but very awkward silence followed. Dr. Hastings intervened quickly. “Hey guys, let’s take a moment to chill out. I don’t want to ignore the strong feelings in the room, but I’d like for us to talk about them after we’ve finished with introductions.” Gwaine shrugged and continued to glare at the blonde guy, who looked away.

A few more students introduced themselves and shared what brought them to the group. The blonde guy went last. He laughed nervously before speaking. “Guess I struck a nerve or two, huh?” he said. “I’m Arthur Pendragon. I’m working on my MBA. I guess I’m here because I’m having some issues with my dad and with my half-sister. That’s all I want to say for now.”

Dr. Hastings took over as soon as Arthur finished talking. “Thank you all for introducing yourselves. I want to go back to what happened just a few minutes ago. I want to start with Merlin. What are you thinking and feeling right now?”

Merlin swallowed in a dry throat. He never liked being the center of attention but he had to say something. After a few seconds he found his voice and said, “Well, first I want to thank Gwaine for his support. Even though I’m not very comfortable with conflict and anger, I appreciate him sticking up for me. It was also brave of him to say that he’s bi, especially after hearing a homophobic, sexist comment.” Merlin purposefully avoided looking at Arthur, who was scowling. 

Gwaine smiled at Merlin and said, “Any time, mate.”

Dr. Hastings said, “Thank you, Merlin. I really like that you thanked Gwaine for his support.” Merlin blushed. Dr. Hastings continued, “I hope that happens a lot during our time together. That you will give each other support and acknowledge each other when that happens. I’d like to hear from Gwaine and Arthur too, and I’ll start with Gwaine. It's clear that you were feeling a lot of anger towards Arthur, Gwaine, and you expressed it very strongly. Of course it’s OK to feel angry, it’s a normal human emotion that we all feel from time to time, but it’s less OK to attack another person verbally. I wonder if you could feel angry at Arthur without dropping F bombs and calling him names?” 

Gwaine looked a bit sheepish and said, “Yeah, I know I can be a bit of a hothead. But I still think Arthur deserved getting both barrels from me. After all, he attacked Merlin verbally.”

“Still, I’m wondering if you could express your feelings in a more assertive and less aggressive way. Do you want to give it a try, Gwaine?” Dr. Hastings persisted. “Can you look directly at Arthur and express your anger without swearing at him and calling him names?”

Gwaine said, “Sure doc, I’ll give it a try.” He then took a deep breath, looked at Arthur and said, “I’m pissed off about what you said to Merlin. I think it was disrespectful and insensitive.”

“Good, that was a more assertive and less aggressive expression of anger,” Dr. Hastings said. He then turned to Arthur and asked, “Can you tell us what you’re thinking and feeling right now, Arthur?”

Arthur sighed. “Well, the guy was honest anyway. I’d rather people tell me what they don’t like about me than keep it to themselves or pretend that they like me.”

Dr. Hastings persisted. “Is there anything you’d like to say either to Gwaine or to Merlin?”

Arthur looked down at his feet. “Didn’t mean to cause offense. Can we move on now?” 

“I’m wondering if you can say more about what’s going on for you, Arthur,” Dr. Hastings prompted.

“Not really,” Arthur replied, continuing to look down at his feet. “I’d really like to move on now, if we can.”

“OK,” Dr. Hastings said. He sensed that Arthur really needed space, and it was too early in the group process to press the issue. He then turned his attention to Merlin. “Anything you’d like to say directly to Arthur, Merlin?”

Merlin shrugged. “I really don’t know what to say, except that I wish I didn’t cry about Will. Maybe he doesn’t deserve my tears, but after almost six years together it’s hard not to feel pain when your lover dumps you. I guess I wish you could understand that, Arthur, even though Will and I are both blokes.”

Arthur continued looking down at his feet. Without looking up he said, “Message received. Can we move on now, please?”

Dr. Hastings said, “Yes, we will move on in a minute. Before we do, would anyone like to share additional thoughts or feelings about this?” 

When no one spoke up, Dr. Hastings said, “Because we all have different experiences and perspectives, it’s inevitable that we will have differences of opinions and experience strong emotions towards each other at times, which can necessitate some difficult conversations. My hope is that we will be able to have these conversations and not avoid them, and that we can talk to each other honestly and respectfully. I also want to emphasize that it’s your responsibility to speak up when something is bothering you. I know that can be hard, but that’s how we grow and learn from each other. It also helps us to figure out how to interact with people who are different from us.” A few group members nodded.

Dr. Hastings then invited students to talk more about what brought them to group. A striking young woman named Morgause disclosed that she had walked in on her girlfriend cheating on her with another woman. Morgause said that she was so angry she wanted to physically hurt her girlfriend and the other woman but was able to control her violent impulses. She said that she was seriously considering ending the relationship—she doubted that it was salvageable. Several other group members expressed empathy and support to Morgause. 

Arthur didn’t say anything and kept looking down at his feet. Even though Arthur had called him a girl for getting teary-eyed, Merlin couldn’t help feeling a bit sorry for him. “It must be hard for him to know that three of the eight students in this group are members of the LGBTQ community,” Merlin thought. “That must blow the posh clotpole’s mind.”

When the group ended at 4:30 p.m. Gwaine approached Merlin and said, “Hey, mate, you wanna go get some coffee? Doc said that since this is a support group and not a therapy group we can socialize between group sessions, so long as we don’t get physically intimate.” Gwaine gave Merlin a mock salacious grin, which caused Merlin to laugh. “Sure, why not?” he replied. 

Merlin sensed someone’s gaze on him and looked across the room to see Arthur staring at him and Gwaine. As soon as Merlin caught his eye, Arthur turned abruptly and bolted out of the group room. “I wonder if he’ll come back next week,” Merlin thought to himself.

Gwaine and Merlin headed towards High Octane, the most popular coffee shop on campus. After they collected their beverages and found a quiet booth, Gwaine grinned and said, “So, did you figure out who Princess Arthur is?” 

“No,” Merlin replied, “should I know who he is?” 

Gwaine shrugged and said, “Well, he was the only one who said his surname when introducing himself. Pendragon, as in Uther Pendragon, the Chancellor of this esteemed university.”

“OMG,” Merlin gasped. “I was still reeling from what the dollophead said to me and your brilliant retort. I hardly heard his introduction. So he’s the Chancellor’s son. No wonder he’s such a posh prat.”

Gwaine laughed heartily. “That’s a perfect description. Except I’d add Princess. Posh Princess Prat or Princess Posh Prat, which do you prefer? We could give him the nickname “PPP”—or better yet “P cubed.”

Merlin chuckled. “OK, but maybe we shouldn’t act too much like mean girls, even if he did hurt my feelings. After all, it is a support group, and I suspect there’s a reason Arthur joined.”

“You’re a better man than I am, Merlin,” said Gwaine with a smile.


	2. Camelot University Support Group - Second Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friendship between Gwaine and Merlin continues to develop. Arthur self-discloses during the second support group session.

After the first support group session, the week went by quickly. The friendship between Merlin and Gwaine continued to develop. During the past week they met for supper one evening and got together on Saturday to hang out. They were pleased to discover that they had the same taste in music and movies. Appropriately for a Kinesiology student, Gwaine was more athletic than Merlin, playing on several intramural teams, while Merlin was more knowledgeable than Gwaine about visual and dramatic arts. The young men found that they enjoyed teaching each other about their areas of expertise. 

“So, I never understood American football,” Merlin told Gwaine. “I mean, I think I understand touchdowns, but I could never figure out the scoring and the whole down system. Like what’s a first down?”

“Oh, I can teach you about that,” Gwaine said excitedly. “It’s not hard to understand.” He proceeded to explain to Merlin about yardage and getting four downs to advance 10 yards. “I imagine it’s just as hard for Americans to understand the rules of cricket,” Gwaine opined. “If you don’t grow up with it, you know, it’s like learning about a different culture.”

Merlin nodded. “Thanks, Gwaine, I’ve always felt a bit embarrassed about not knowing a lot about sports. It’s great to have a mate who can explain things clearly.” Gwaine smiled happily.

*****

At the second session of the support group session, Merlin and Gwaine sat next to each other and engaged in conversation right away. Merlin noticed when Arthur came in and looked at them before quickly looking away. He also noticed that Arthur appeared rather downcast. Merlin couldn’t help feeling a bit concerned about him. 

At 3 p.m. Dr. Hastings started group by asking members to check in and say whether they would like any group time. Morgause started the check-in by saying that she and her girlfriend had broken up and she wanted some time to talk about it. Arthur went next and said it might be helpful to talk about some family issues. When Gwaine’s turn came, he said that he would like to say a bit more about his sexual addiction issues. Merlin was surprised, as this was one topic that Gwaine hadn’t raised when they got together during the past week. When Merlin checked in, he said that he wanted to talk about how he was coping with the end of his relationship, and that he wouldn’t need much time.

Morgause was the first to take time in the second group session. She said that breaking up with Deirdre was the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she knew it was the right decision. She described a complex blend of emotions—grief, rage, despair, resignation, and much more. Merlin felt many of the same feelings about Will, and he told Morgause that he could relate to the feelings she had described. The two group members shared how they had each tried to cope with the pain of breaking up, after which Morgause gave Merlin a grateful smile. Other group members rallied around Morgause, expressing their understanding and support. Even Arthur contributed. He said, “I’m sorry you both are having such a hard time.” Merlin was surprised that Arthur included him in the expression of sympathy.

Arthur took time after Morgause. He looked rather nervous and started out stuttering. “Y-y-you probably all know that my dad is the Chancellor,” he said. “It’s hard for me to talk about my stuff because I don’t want it to become the talk of the campus. I, I, I’m really worried about it getting back to my dad. He doesn’t even know that I’m here, and I don’t want him to know.”

Dr. Hastings cut in at that point and said, “Arthur, I understand that you have concerns about confidentiality. I want to remind everyone about what I said last week. I want to reinforce the rule that what is said in here stays in here, and nothing gets talked about with anyone outside of the group.”

Looking directly at Arthur, Dr. Hastings continued, “Arthur, I want to assure you that, aside from the limitations to confidentiality I shared last week, I have a professional duty to keep anything you say strictly confidential. I also can’t and won’t disclose to anyone that you are receiving services here, unless you give me permission to do so. It sounds like you would like that kind of assurance from the rest of the group, no?” 

Arthur nodded, looking down. Focusing on the other group members, Dr. Hastings said, “So, group, can we give Arthur the assurance of confidentiality, the safety he needs to share personal information with us?” 

Merlin saw a side of Arthur he never thought he would see—he looked so young and vulnerable, and Merlin’s heart went out to him. “Arthur, I promise to keep confidential anything and everything you share with us. I hope you will trust me with that.” 

Arthur looked up at Merlin and said in a quiet voice, “Thank you, Merlin.” Other group members then spoke up, assuring Arthur that they too would keep whatever he shared completely confidential. 

Arthur then took a deep breath and said, “OK, here goes. I don’t think my dad loves me and it hurts like hell. My mom died giving birth to me, and I think my dad has always held that against me. I can’t ever remember him saying something kind to me. He always talks about how I fall short of his expectations. I try so hard to please him, and all he does is criticize. I made the Dean’s list several times before I started the MBA programme, and he never congratulated me. He just pointed out the fact that I got B’s in some classes and said I should always get straight A’s. I never knew my mum, and that feels like a huge hole in my life. I fantasize that she would love me and tell me that I’m good enough. It probably sounds lame, missing someone you never met, but that’s what it feels like.” Arthur took another deep breath and said, “Christ, I never talk that much about myself. Sorry for rambling on so long.”

Merlin’s heart was breaking for Arthur. He couldn’t believe that the guy who had been such a prat to him last session was actually so sensitive and hurting so bad. He felt compelled to say something kind to Arthur. “Don’t apologize, Arthur. That took a lot of guts for you to trust us and to share your true feelings. I’m sorry that you don’t feel love from your dad—that must suck so bad.”

Merlin took a deep breath and continued, “Also, I totally get what you said about missing your mum. I never knew my dad—he left my mum before I was born. I often fantasize about what kind of relationship I would have with him, and I wonder whether he would be proud of me and whether we would get along.”

Arthur looked into Merlin’s eyes and said, “I appreciate that Merlin, and I’m sorry I was such a dick to you last time. I think I was channeling my dad, especially with that “Don’t be such a girl” comment.” Merlin laughed easily, and that elicited a bright smile from Arthur. Other group members then told Arthur how his disclosure affected them. Even Gwaine said something supportive. 

Morgause asked, “Have you ever told your dad how you feel?” Arthur shook his head and muttered, “That’s a scary thought.” 

Morgause nodded. “I bet it’s scary given that he’s the fucking Chancellor,” she said, which made everyone laugh, including Dr. Hastings. Morgause continued, “It’s hard to speak our truth to someone who’s stern and forbidding, but sometimes it’s really healing to do so. One thing that has helped me is to write a letter to the person I’m having problems with. I usually don’t send or give them the letter, but it helps me to figure out what I would like to say to them and how I would like to say it.”

Then Dr. Hastings asked, “What do you think of Morgause’s idea, Arthur?”

“I really don’t know,” Arthur said. “I’m definitely not ready to talk to my dad, but I’ll think about the letter idea.”

“Great,” Dr. Hastings said. “Please keep us posted. And good work today.” When he heard the group facilitator’s affirmation, Arthur felt a bit of a warm glow inside. It wasn’t much, but it did lessen his despair ever so slightly. 

Before the group session ended Gwaine talked about his sex life. “It hasn’t been healthy,” he said. “It’s ruined many of my relationships over the years. I’d shag anybody and everybody, and I hurt a lot of people. And I’m hurting too. I’ve decided to be celibate for a while as I try to figure out why I’ve been such a slut. I think it has something to do with being afraid to really get close to someone, you know? By sleeping around I keep from being vulnerable, or something like that.” 

“You’re being vulnerable now, mate,” Merlin whispered. “And brave. I admire that.” 

Gwaine shot Merlin a warm smile. Other group members expressed support for Gwaine’s decision to be celibate for a while. And Dr. Hastings told Gwaine that his words exhibited some good insight about his behavior. 

Merlin was the last person to take time that session. He simply said that he was making progress getting over Will. It still hurt, but much less than last week. Winking at Gwaine, Merlin stated that he had made some new friends at Camelot and that had helped a great deal. After Merlin had spoken and received feedback from group members, Dr. Hastings adjourned the session.

As Arthur was preparing to leave the group room, gathering his jacket and backpack, he heard the exchange between Gwaine and Merlin.

Gwaine asked, “Up for another coffee at High Octane?” 

Merlin replied, “Sounds like a plan. I need caffeine to get me through all the studying I have to do tonight. Dinner afterwards?” 

Followed by Gwaine’s easy response, “Sure, I know I’ll be famished by 6 or so.”


	3. Arthur's Reflections after the Second Group Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur reflects and gains some insight after the second support group session. A conversation with Morgana leads to additional insights and important decisions.

Arthur was confused as he trudged across campus to his flat. Why did he feel so miserable all of a sudden? It had been a good group meeting, and just a little while ago he was feeling happier than he had felt in a while. Especially when Merlin had laughed at his joke about channeling his dad. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about Merlin? Last week he had felt so awful after group. He saw how hurt and angry Merlin looked after his stupid comment. He should have kept his big mouth shut. Last week he was sure Merlin hated him, with good reason, but then he was so kind to him in group today. Apparently Merlin and Gwaine were best mates now. And Arthur, idiot that he was, had thrown them together. Of course Merlin would love the handsome guy who had stood up to Arthur in Merlin's defense. As usual, Arthur had made a big mess of things. Maybe his dad was right—he was a loser.

Arthur continued thinking about Merlin as he fished his keys out of his pocket and entered his surprisingly modest flat. He had loved the sound of Merlin’s easy laugh when Arthur apologized to him for his snarky comment last week. He remembered that his breath caught when Merlin looked directly at him with those piercing blue eyes. Merlin’s eyes reminded him of the sky on a bright sunny day. Arthur even thought he saw flecks of gold in Merlin’s eyes, like sunshine illuminating the sky. He pictured Merlin sitting in group, his thin wiry frame and his long legs stretched out towards the middle of the circle, his slender fingers running absentmindedly through his beautiful dark curls, his high cheekbones to die for, his large ears, which on anyone else would look ridiculous, but on Merlin they were oh so cute and made him look like some kind of stunning, magical creature. Legolas in Lord of the Rings came to mind. Arthur had always had a thing for Orlando Bloom.

Oh, shit. He had a fucking crush on Merlin. And Merlin probably had a thing for Gwaine. He saw Merlin wink at Gwaine when he talked about making new friends at Camelot. And how could Arthur disclose in group that he’s bi after the stupid, snarky comment he made to Merlin the first time they met? They would all see what a fucking hypocrite and coward he is. They would think he was a self-hating closeted queer. He really wasn’t though. He was just desperate to hide the truth from his dad.

Arthur couldn’t stop thinking about Merlin and the group. After three days of obsessing and not being able to concentrate on his schoolwork, Arthur decided he had to talk to someone, and that someone was his half-sister Morgana. That they didn’t have the best relationship was an understatement, but Arthur knew that Morgana would give him her honest opinion and wouldn’t pull her punches. That’s what he needed. And he knew that deep down Morgana really cared about him, as he did about her. So Arthur ended up texting Morgana and asking her to come over to his flat. 

“What a surprise, brother mine? You actually want to see me?” Morgana texted back. “Your black sheep half-sister?” 

Arthur read her text and sighed. He knew that he had sided with their father against her, and she had understandably been miffed to say the least. “Yes, please?” Arthur texted back. 

He smiled when he saw Morgana’s response, “My dickhead brother being polite? Will wonders never cease. Now I’m dying of curiosity. What the hell is going on? See you on Saturday at 10 a.m. Breakfast on you.”

Arthur decided to roll out the red carpet for Morgana. He prepared a huge American-style breakfast for them—cheese omelets, bacon, pancakes, orange juice, and lots of gourmet coffee. Morgana was duly impressed. “Wow, you went all out, Artie. Now I know something serious is afoot. Spill, brother.” 

Taking care not to violate the confidentiality of group members, Arthur summarized what had transpired in the first two group sessions, while Morgana listened with rapt attention, her eyes widening in surprise several times. She wasn’t sure what was the most surprising disclosure—Arthur going to CAPS for help, worrying that Uther didn’t love him, or crushing on this “Martin” dude. Morgana had always believed that Arthur and his dad were tight. Didn’t Arthur always defend Uther when Morgana bad-mouthed him? Even though Morgana loved her brother and saw glimpses of his sensitive nature, she had always worried that Arthur would grow up to be the same kind of prick their dad was. Arthur had often professed to hold the same values and beliefs as their dad—the same wrong values and beliefs. When she pointed this out to Arthur, he looked embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, Morgs,” he said. “I should have stood up for you when you fought with dad. I guess I craved his approval so badly, I thought that by siding with him he would show me some affection. I know now that I was wrong.” He took a deep breath and continued, “I thought he would be proud of me when I was accepted into the MBA programme, but he only said that they had to accept me because I’m his son, he just couldn’t acknowledge that I'd earned it. That really hurt. I didn’t tell him that I had also been accepted to the MBA programme at Avalon U. I figured he’d also take credit for that. Maybe I should have gone to Avalon, but I had to take advantage of the tuition break I get here because dad's the Chancellor.”

Morgana stared at him, “You mean, you have to pay your own tuition?” 

“Yeah,” Arthur replied. “Dad said that he never got a free ride and so I shouldn’t either. He said that it builds character to earn your own way.”

“Sounds like Uther,” Morgana said, rolling her eyes. “He wouldn’t help me pay for anything, but I thought it was just because he was pissed off at me. Marrying Leon was the final straw. You know, all that bullshit he spewed. ‘That man is beneath you, Morgana. Find someone I can be proud to call my son-in law, not a lowly artisan for God’s sake.’” She imitated Uther’s haughty tone so well that Arthur burst out laughing. 

Morgana continued, “So you want my advice about this guy you’re calling Martin, huh? Well, first of all, don’t waste your time fretting about him and this other guy, Wayne, was it? I mean they could just be friends and it isn’t worth worrying about until you know for sure what’s going on between them. You say that Martin just got out of a long-term relationship. He’s probably got more sense than to jump into another relationship, and it sounds like Wayne wants to be single for a while. It also sounds like you made amends to Martin in the second group meeting and he forgave you. By the way, I’m not surprised that you acted like a daft prick the first session. You’ve always been impulsive like that, saying the first stupid thing that comes into your head. Unfortunately, that stupid thing is usually something dad would say. I remember dad telling you not to be such a girl whenever you were sad or hurt about something.”

Arthur tried to hide his embarrassment, but he knew that Morgana could see right through him. She always could. “Didn’t know I was that transparent,” he muttered under his breath. “So what should I do?” he asked. 

“Ask Martin if he’d like to hang out sometime,” she said. “Tell him you appreciated his support when you talked about dad. Tell him you’d like to be his friend.”

“That will be hard,” Arthur confessed. “I’m scared he’ll say no.” 

“Oh, c’mon Arthur,” Morgana said with a glint in her eye. “Are you not a Pendragon? Since when do we fear rejection? Were you afraid when you asked Mithian out a couple of years ago?”

“Well, that was different,” Arthur said with a sigh. “I didn’t care so much if she said no. I think I just did it to prove to dad and myself that I was straight.”

“Well, that’s a surprise, Artie,” Morgana replied. “I must admit to feeling a bit shocked that you fell for a guy. We’ve never really talked about this before, though I’ve had my suspicions. Are you gay or bi? Not trans, I assume, or what are the kids calling it now? Ah yes, non-binary.“ 

“No, definitely not trans, but other than that I’m not altogether sure myself,” Arthur admitted. “Although at this point the evidence points to my being bisexual. I mean I was attracted to Mithian, and to Elena before that. So, I guess I’m attracted to girls whose personalities I like. Mithian and Elena, but not Vivian, even though everyone thinks she’s quite physically attractive. I just can’t stand how stuck up and arrogant she is, to the point where I can’t even abide being in the same room with her.” 

Arthur took a moment to reflect and then said, “And then there was Mordred, remember him?”

“What about Mordred?” Morgana asked. “I definitely remember him, and I thought he was a cool guy,” 

“Well, Mordred and I were in a few classes together a couple of years ago, and he started flirting with me. I thought he was cute, and I was excited by the idea of being with a guy, especially a hipster like Mordred. So we started dating and were together for about half a year.”

“Oh my god,” Morgana exclaimed, “And you never thought to tell your big sister about it?”

“Jesus, Morgana,” Arthur said, “I didn’t want anyone to know. I was so scared that people would find out that the Chancellor’s son was in a gay relationship and that the gossip would reach dad’s ears. My insistence on keeping our relationship secret was what led Mordred to break up with me. He said he was an out and proud gay guy and could no longer tolerate being in a closeted relationship. I understood his position, admired it even, and never blamed him although it hurt a lot when he left me.”

Morgana regarded Arthur with compassion. “I’m so sorry, Artie. I had no idea. I wish you could have confided in me at the time.”

“Well, I was an asshole to you, so I didn’t feel I deserved your support,” Arthur admitted. “But I’m glad to have it now and I’m so happy that we can finally be honest with each other. I think I’ll always crave dad’s love, but I now know it doesn’t work to pretend I agree with him. I can no longer stick up for him when he’s wrong. I need to be my own person. I just feel bad that it’s taken me so long to figure that out.”

“I am so proud of you, Arthur,” Morgana said with tears in her eyes. “And I love you, little brother. Always have, in spite of our screaming fights, and I always will.”

“That means so much to me, Morgs,” Arthur said, “And I love you too.”


	4. Camelot University Support Group - Third Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur shares more during the third support group session. Gwaine and Merlin have fun engaging in immature banter about who they "like like."

Arthur was excited for the third group session. After talking to Morgana, he figured out what he had to do. It wouldn’t be easy, but he knew it was right. He also trusted that his fellow group members would understand and not condemn him for what he was about to disclose. During check in he simply said that he wanted time to share something with the group that was important to him. When his turn came, Arthur spoke confidently and without hesitation. He had prepared ahead of time what he would say and how he would say it.

“Remember last week when I apologized to Merlin for what I said the first session and made a joke about channeling my dad?” The other group members nodded. Seeing the questioning look on Merlin’s face, Arthur continued. 

“Well, it wasn’t really a joke, you see. My dad used to tell me to stop being a girl whenever I felt sad. So I learned to pretend to be tough and to hide any feelings of sadness and hurt. My dad would also say things like “You’re not gay, are you?” And so I internalized a lot of his homophobic feelings. Since our last session I talked to my half-sister, Morgana, and she helped me to realize some important things about myself. When Merlin was so honest about his relationship with Will and I saw how open he was about feeling sad and hurt, I felt threatened. Because those were things I had to hide about myself, and so I ended up saying things my dad would have said to me if I had expressed the same feelings Merlin did."

Looking directly at Merlin, Arthur said, "I’m very sorry for doing that, Merlin." Merlin nodded, hoping that his expression conveyed how much Arthur's words had moved him. Arthur continued, "Morgana, who knows me better than anyone, called me a ‘daft prick’ and said that I have a habit of saying impulsive things that our father would say whenever I feel insecure.”

A few group members chuckled when Arthur said that Morgana called him a “daft prick.” When Arthur stopped to take a few deep breaths, Gwaine spoke up. “Now I feel bad that I swore at you that day, Arthur. I obviously didn’t realize what you are dealing with. Since you were channeling your dad, can you think of it like I was swearing at your dad and not at you? Even though I don’t think I’d ever be brave enough to swear at the Chancellor.”

Arthur grinned at him. “Works for me, Gwaine,” he said. “But there’s more I need to share if I can have just a little more time. Even though I came across as homophobic and heterosexist before, I want, no I need to let you know that I’m bi. I’ve been in a few relationships with girls, but I was also in a relationship with a guy for about six months. I was so scared that my dad might find out that I kept it a secret from everyone and insisted the other guy keep it a secret too. He decided that he didn’t want to be in a closeted relationship and so he eventually dumped me. It hurt, but I understood and respected his position.”

Merlin wanted to give Arthur a hug but didn’t think that would be appropriate. He sat there deep in thought for a while and then said, “Wow, Arthur, you just blew my mind. Thanks for trusting us and being so courageous. How can I support you?”

Arthur felt a warm feeling suffuse his chest. “Go out with me. Love me,” he thought to himself and hoped his internal dialogue wasn’t too obvious. “Just be my friend, OK?” he whispered.

Merlin felt shy and he blushed. “Always,” he managed to get out. Arthur experienced an intense happiness he had never felt before.

A few days after the third group session, Merlin and Gwaine got together at Merlin’s flat. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, mate,” Gwaine said, “Do you like Arthur? I mean ‘like like’ him?”

Merlin laughed. “Like like, what are we 5th grade girls, Gwaine? But seriously, I guess I could be into him. I mean he’s beautiful, you know, with that golden hair and piercing blue eyes and muscular bod. And I care about him—he’s had it rough you know, being the Chancellor’s son and all, and I find myself wanting to protect him, which I don’t really understand. But I’m still getting over Will, and Arthur probably isn’t attracted to me, all clumsy and gangly the way I am, and with these huge ears that people have been making fun of all my life. I mean he could get anyone he wants, so why would he even look twice at me?”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Merlin,” Gwaine said. “You’re a catch yourself, you are, and don’t you dare think otherwise. You don’t know how striking you are, which adds to your charm. What’s that boy band song, you know, ‘You don’t know you’re beautiful and that’s what makes you beautiful.’ And I’ve seen the way Arthur looks at you in group.”

“Oh, stop it, Gwaine,” Merlin said with a grin. “You’re just falling back into your old flirty pattern, saying all these complimentary things about me. Arthur doesn’t look at me like that. I think that initially he felt bad about hurting my feelings, and then he appreciated some of the supportive things I said to him.”

“Whatever, Merlin,” Gwaine said, “But in a month or so I know I’ll get to say ‘I told you so.’ You wanna make it interesting?”

“20 quid?” Merlin suggested. Gwaine nodded. “You’re on.” 

Anxious to change the subject, Merlin said, “How about let’s talk about you and Percy. You guys have been hanging out a lot. Continuing the 5th grade girl talk, do you ‘like like’ him?”

Gwaine blushed and Merlin exclaimed, “Oh my god, you’re crushing on him so bad, you are. Spill, mate.”

Gwaine proceeded to tell Merlin all about his feelings for Percy, who was an international student from the States. Percy was a huge bloke with impossibly thick, muscular arms and legs. He looked pretty intimidating, like he could pick Merlin up with one hand and carry him around like an American football, but he was the gentlest giant you’d ever meet. Soft-spoken, a bit shy, and very sweet. It was Percy’s first year in the Kinesiology programme, and Gwaine had taken him under his wing. 

“He’s so great, Merlin,” Gwaine gushed, “But you know that I’ve decided to be celibate for a while and not to fall back into the bad habit of shagging everyone I meet right away. I think he may like me too, but I want to take things real slow, you know?”

“Do you know if he’s straight, gay or bi?” Merlin asked.

“No,” Gwaine admitted, “but I told him that I’m bi and he seemed cool with it. I also told him that I was getting help at the counseling center and working on getting more comfortable with real intimacy as opposed to just having casual sex. Percy said that sounded great and that he had been seeing a counselor in the States and found it helpful.”

“Wow, you really opened up to him, Gwaine,” Merlin said. “I’m proud of you. You should ask Percy about his sexual orientation. And I wish you luck.”

“Thanks, mate. And I wish you luck with Arthur,” Gwaine replied.

“Oh, shut up, you,” Merlin huffed. “Let’s watch some Youtube videos and stop this primary school girl talk.”


	5. Arthur Writes a Letter to Uther

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur takes Morgause's advice and writes a letter to Uther expressing his thoughts and feelings about their relationship.

After the third group session, Arthur took Morgause’s advice and started writing a letter to his dad. He figured that he probably wouldn’t ever share it with his dad, but like Morgause said, it might help him to clarify his thoughts and feelings and figure out what he wanted to express. It took him a lot of time and effort, but eventually he drafted a letter which he felt conveyed his true feelings and with which he felt satisfied.

Dear Dad, 

__

__

There are a lot of things that have been weighing on me lately about our relationship. It’s not easy for me to write this letter, but I feel strongly that I have to be brave and do it. One thing you taught me that I appreciate is that it’s important to have courage and do things that one finds difficult. 

Since as far back as I can remember, I have tried to live up to your expectations of me. I have always felt that you were disappointed in me, that I wasn’t the son you wished for. Whenever I felt sad or hurt and expressed it, you told me not to act like a girl. So I tried hard not to feel sad or hurt and, whenever I did, I would hide those feelings from you. 

I tried to make you proud by being a good athlete and doing well in school, but it seems I always fell short. You would focus on what I didn’t do right, like if I failed to score a goal or if I got a B in a course instead of an A. I found myself wishing that you would sometimes focus on what I did right, like when I did contribute to a team win or when I did get a perfect score on an exam. I sometimes fantasized about what my relationship would be with mum, had she lived. I wondered if she would tell me that I was a good son and made her proud. I hope that was what she would have said had she lived to see me grow up.

I have always heard you express strong opinions about everything, and perhaps unconsciously I thought that if I shared your opinions and values you would approve of me. So I started acting as if I believed everything you believe, but that kept me from really knowing myself and being my own person. I have just recently come to this realization.

I know that mum died giving birth to me, and I have always felt guilty about that. Like if I hadn’t been born, she would have lived and you would have had her for many more happy years. I know you loved her deeply and were devastated when she died. Uncle Agravaine told me how much you grieved, and maybe that provided some inkling to me about why it was hard for you to accept me. I have often thought that perhaps you couldn’t love me because I took away the person who was most precious to you.

I met with Morgana recently. She came over to my flat and we had breakfast together. Our reconciliation was a happy one. I know that you and she are angry with each other. I took your side against her when you two fought. I know now that was wrong because I took your side for the wrong reasons. I did it to earn your approval, not because I thought you were right and she was wrong. To be perfectly honest, I think you ought to accept and support Morgana’s choices. She is an adult, and she gets to choose whoever and whatever will make her happy. 

Morgana and Leon are very happy together. I know you don’t think Leon’s good enough for Morgana, but he is really a great bloke and he loves her deeply. He’s actually a very impressive guy once you get to know him. I think you judged him unfairly and didn’t even give him a chance, simply because he’s a carpenter. I wished that I had told you at the time that I thought you were being terribly snooty, instead of expressing support for your position. That was cowardly of me. What I have come to realize is that Morgana and I have to make our own decisions, in spite of how you might react to those decisions. After all, we’re the ones who have to live with our choices. 

Which brings me to something I have to say that I’m afraid will upset you. I’m bisexual, attracted to both women and men. I was in a relationship with a young man several years ago, and I was so terribly afraid you might find out that I kept it a secret from everyone. The secrecy was too much of a burden for my partner and he broke up with me. That hurt a lot. Now I find myself having feelings for another man, and I am unwilling to go through the same pain I went through in my previous gay relationship. Not that anything is likely to come of my feelings for this man. I’m quite sure he doesn’t feel the same way I do—in fact, I think his heart belongs to another guy. But if I’m ever in a gay relationship again, I refuse to keep it a secret from the world. That wouldn’t be fair to me or to my partner. I expect you will have a hard time accepting a bisexual son, and I’m afraid that you will disown me, but I have to be true to myself.

Dad, I hope you will not consider this letter to be a long, whiny complaint from a weak little boy who doesn’t measure up to your standards of what a son should be—hyper masculine and always strong. My intention is not to whine or to make you feel bad, but rather to be completely honest with you for once in my life. I wish I could be the son you want, but I fear that may not be possible. I do love you, dad, I always have loved you and always will with all my heart, but I must be true to myself. I sincerely hope you can accept who I really am and that we can have an honest, loving relationship. If that makes me “girly” in your eyes, so be it. I don’t know any other way to be if I am to have a happy life.

Much love,

Arthur 

Arthur felt exhausted after finishing the letter and immediately fell asleep. When he woke up several hours later, he re-read the letter and decided to send it. He figured that so long as he had started being brave, he needed to move forward and not retreat. But first he would get some feedback from his fellow group members.


	6. Camelot University Support Group - Fourth Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur reads his letter to Uther in the fourth session of the support group. After group Arthur asks Merlin to hang out.

At the fourth group session, Gwaine, Arthur, Merlin, and Freya asked for time. Freya hadn’t talked much in group before today, so the group members were anxious to hear from her. She said that she had been afraid to say much before now because she had been horribly bullied in high school and that had caused her to constantly worry that her peers would treat her badly. Freya said that the kindness she had seen in the group had led her to take the risk of speaking up now. She also thanked her fellow group members for accepting her silence in the group, which allowed her to gain more comfort before asking for time. The group rallied around Freya, with several members saying that they wished they had been there to protect her when she was being bullied. Freya cried then. She said that no one had ever expressed those sentiments to her before, and she described how impactful it was to hear them. 

Merlin went next and said that he had recently talked to Will on the phone. He said that Will was back in Essetir and had called Merlin to see how he was doing. Merlin told the group that he knew he was getting over the breakup because he was able to have a friendly conversation with Will without feeling sad or angry. He said that he felt a twinge of nostalgia but that was about it. He also said that even if Will were willing to get back together, Merlin didn’t think he would agree to it.

“I seem to be moving on from the relationship,” he said with relief. “I’m actually able to focus on my schoolwork and find myself really believing that I’ll be a doctor someday.” 

Other group members told him they were happy for him, and they knew he would achieve his career goal. “You’re such a caring bloke,” Freya said. “I just know you’ll be a great physician.” Merlin beamed.

Arthur went next. He said, “I want to thank Morgause for giving me the idea about writing a letter to my dad. It was hard, but I wrote it and I’d like to read it to you, if I may.” Group members nodded and gave Arthur their full attention. Arthur took out his iPad and started reading the letter. When he finished there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. 

“That was so powerful, Arthur,” Morgause said. “So honest and so eloquent.”

Merlin felt so emotional, the words got caught in his throat. “Very impressive,” was all he could manage.

Dr. Hastings had tears in his eyes too. He said, “Arthur, it’s clear that your letter was deeply moving to everyone here. Do you plan to give it to your dad?”

Arthur hesitated a bit before saying, “Yeah, I think so. I’m scared, of course, but I want to keep being brave now that I started.” 

“We’re pulling for you,” Dr. Hastings said. “No matter what happens, we’re on your side.” Arthur nodded.

“Hey mate,” Gwaine said, “Do you want to talk about the man you fancy, you know, the one you talked about in the letter?”

Arthur blushed to the roots of his golden hair. “No, I’m not ready to talk about that yet, but maybe someday.”

Gwaine took time after Arthur. He said, “Well, I can talk about a bloke I fancy then.” Arthur gave him a curious look of discomfort. Gwaine continued, “He’s an international student from the States who just started the Kinesiology programme this semester.” Gwaine gave them the lowdown on his feelings for Percy. “Merlin says I should ask him about his sexual orientation, but that’s kind of awkward, you know? How can I do that without being obvious?” Gwaine asked. 

After receiving several suggestions, Gwaine decided that he could live with “So, I told you I was bi. How about you? Straight, gay or bi? It’s okay if you don’t want to say.” Gwaine said, “I’ll try to do it as casually as possible and slip it into the conversation as naturally as I can. Ask me next week if I succeeded or chickened out.” Gwaine noticed that Arthur was smiling at him and had lost that uncomfortable look.

After group Arthur printed the letter to his dad, put it in an intramural envelope, addressed it to Dr. Uther Pendragon at the Chancellor’s office, marked it confidential, and slipped it into a campus mailbox. 

Later that day, Merlin received an email from Arthur: "Hey Merlin, I hope you don’t mind that I looked up your email address in the campus directory. I just sent the letter off to my dad and I’m feeling kind of nervous. Do you have time to get together this evening? I know you’re a busy med student, so if you’re not free it’s OK, but it would help to have some company tonight. If you need to study, we could even just hit the books together. Best, Arthur"

Merlin responded right away. “Of course, Arthur. I’m happy to get together. I’m pretty caught up with my coursework for the week, so we can just hang out and talk or find something else to do. If you want to come over, I’m in Unit 7A in med student housing. I assume you know where that is. Shall we say about 7 p.m.? Merlin"

“Thanks so much, Merlin. I’ll swing by your place at 7. Arthur”


	7. Arthur and Merlin Hang Out for the First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur visits Merlin at his flat. Some honest feelings are shared.

True to his word, Arthur arrived at Merlin's flat at 7 p.m. on the dot. Merlin opened the door and gave Arthur a bright smile. “Please come on in, Arthur, and make yourself comfortable. " With a teasing grin, he added, "Welcome to my humble flat. I bet you’re used to posher digs than this.”

Arthur looked slightly embarrassed. “Well, when I lived with my dad, yeah, we lived in a big house anyone would consider posh, but since moving out on my own, my living situation has become much humbler.”

When Merlin looked surprised, Arthur explained, “Once I started college, my dad said I had to start paying my own way. He said that he didn’t want Morgana and me to get used to a life of privilege. So, I had to figure out how to pay most of my own living expenses—tuition, rent, food, you know. Dad helped a bit, gave me a small monthly allowance, but I still had to work part-time to get by.” 

Merlin felt embarrassed that he had assumed Arthur lived an easy life of privilege. His admiration of Arthur increased—even though he grew up in a wealthy family, he had been paying his own way at uni, just like Merlin.

Arthur remembered the gift he was holding. “Oh, I got you this,” he said shyly, “to thank you for being a good friend. I figured you could use some school garb.” He handed Merlin a Camelot University hoodie in the school colors, crimson with gold lettering and a beautiful gold dragon, the school mascot, whose name for some reason was Kilgarah.

Merlin was touched as he received the gift graciously. “Wow, thank you, Arthur. I love it, and I will treasure it, especially because it’s from you.” He smiled warmly at his guest, then said. “Have you dined yet? I usually don’t eat supper until after 7, and I’m planning to order pizza. Will you join me?”

“Sounds great,” Arthur replied. “I think I’ve been too anxious to feel very hungry, but now that you mention it, I think I could go for a slice or two.” They agreed on an Italian sausage, onion and mushroom pizza and a liter of diet coke. Merlin ordered online and paid with his credit card. “My treat,” he said, “to thank you for my first Camelot U hoodie.”

After ordering the pizza, they sat comfortably on the living room sofa. Arthur talked about how nervous he felt after dropping the letter to his dad in the campus mailbox. Merlin said, “I can imagine how scary it feels given what you’ve shared about your dad. I just hope he recognizes what an amazing bloke you are, Arthur. I don’t understand how he doesn’t see the bright light in you.”

Arthur shifted uncomfortably, not accustomed to receiving compliments, but he also felt a jolt of happiness coursing through his body. “You’re embarrassing me, Merlin,” he muttered. Needing to get the attention off himself, he said, “So tell me about you, Merlin. I don’t know a whole lot other than you’re from Essetir, you were raised by your mum in Ealdor, and you were with Will for more than five years.”

“Don’t know where to begin, really,” Merlin replied. “Let’s see, I’ve always been a science nerd, ever since high school, loving all my science classes and doing well in them, especially chemistry and biology. At Avalon U I was one of those annoying students who had no problem acing Organic Chemistry. I guess my uncle Gaius was a big influence on me. He’s not really my uncle, just a very close friend of my mum’s, so I’ve always called him Uncle Gaius. He’s a country doctor and I was always impressed by how much he cares about his patients and what a skilled physician he is. I suppose I’m following in his footsteps in one sense, although I don’t see myself as a country doctor.” 

“What do you envision for your future career, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“Good question,” Merlin replied. “I kind of see myself practicing in a big hospital in an urban center in the UK. London would be my first choice—I love it there—but I think I could also be happy in another city that offers beauty and culture, like Birmingham, Manchester, Edinburgh, or Dublin. I’ve visited those cities and can see myself living happily in any one of them. There’s a long road ahead before that happens, though. What about your career goals, Arthur? What kind of job awaits you after you get your MBA?”

“Well, interestingly enough,” Arthur began, “we have something in common there. In the past year I’ve become very interested in the medical technology field. I’ve interned at two med tech companies so far—one company develops biomedical vests to detect heart problems, and the other company manufactures robots that help kids in hospital tolerate difficult and painful procedures. It’s cutting edge technology that is so exciting to me. I love learning about this stuff and I really want to contribute to improving health and reducing pain. I don’t think there can be anything more rewarding than that.” 

Merlin was astonished. Arthur had so much more depth than he realized. “I could easily fall in love with this amazing, gorgeous man,” he thought. And with that scary idea, he immediately started considering how he might protect himself from getting hurt. But he had to say something appropriate in response to what Arthur had just shared. 

“That’s amazing, Arthur,” he managed. “I remember reading about the biomedical vests and about some of the newer developments in robotics. It’s brilliant that you’re so passionate about the field, and I know you’ll go far.” 

Before long the pizza arrived and they dined in companionable silence. Afterwards they resumed their conversation. Arthur was the first one to risk diving into more personal territory. He said, “I was sure something was happening between you and Gwaine until he talked today about the guy he fancies, who obviously isn’t you. I mean, you’re not an international student from the States.”

Merlin laughed easily. “No, Gwaine and I are just friends. Besides, even if I did fancy Gwaine in that way, there’s a rule about group members not getting physically intimate, and I’m nothing if not a rule follower.” 

“Somehow I have a hard time believing that, Merlin,” Arthur said. When he saw the puzzled look on Merlin’s face, he clarified, “Oh, I didn’t mean about you and Gwaine being just friends. I meant about being a rule follower. Somehow I suspect you’re a bit of a rebel.”

Merlin acknowledged the truth of that observation with a grin. “Yes, I guess I can be a rebel at times. My mum and my friends in Ealdor could tell you some embarrassing stories. But I do think it’s important to follow the group rule about physical intimacy. It could create some unhealthy drama in the group if two members started shagging, don’t you think?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Arthur said with a sigh. He looked a bit pensive.

On impulse Merlin decided to broach the subject he had been wondering about since group this afternoon. Better to get this over with, he thought. “So, I know you said you weren’t ready to talk about it in group today, but maybe you’re more comfortable talking one-on-one about the guy you fancy? No worries if you’d rather not, but I’d thought I’d at least ask.”

Right after those words came out, Merlin started to berate himself. He told himself, “Shut up. I can’t believe you asked him that. You're really an idiot, asking a question you really don’t want answered. It’ll hurt too much to hear that he fancies someone else.”

Arthur's response put an end to Merlin's self-flagellation. “No, it’s OK,” Arthur said, “although it’s kind of embarrassing.”

A long silence followed, and Merlin steeled himself to hear about Arthur’s crush. Finally Arthur took a deep breath and said in a rush, “The guy I mentioned in the letter is you, Merlin. I thought you were into Gwaine—that’s why I wrote that the guy I have feelings for probably fancies another bloke. I really didn’t mean to make you feel awkward or to ask anything of you. I just felt I should be honest since you asked me directly, and lately it’s been important to me not to hide anything any longer. I heard what you said about group members not getting physically intimate, and it’s OK if you don’t like me that way. And I know you recently went through a painful breakup, and …”

After getting over the shock of Arthur's disclosure, Merlin just wanted to assuage Arthur’s anxiety. “Shh, Arthur,” he said in a soft voice, “it’s OK. Everything is gonna be OK. Just breathe, take some deep breaths.” Merlin smiled as he watched Arthur calm down a bit. “I imagine that was hard for you to say. I wouldn’t have asked had I thought for a moment that you meant me. Trust me, I was sure it was someone else, and it’s quite hard for me to believe that a stunning man like you would fancy someone like me.”

“Really, why is that?” Arthur asked, and, before Merlin could answer, said “You think I’m stunning?”

“Come now, Arthur,” Merlin teased, “You know perfectly well that you’re gorgeous. I mean, you’re like a golden god. You must have hundreds, if not thousands, of admirers trying to get into your pants.” Arthur blushed.

Merlin continued, “And I told Gwaine that you couldn’t possibly like me that way because I’m so scrawny and have these ridiculously big ears. Oh, shit. I owe Gwaine 20 quid.”

“Huh?” Arthur looked understandably confused. 

“Uh, this is embarrassing,” Merlin admitted. “Gwaine said he thought you fancied me, and I told him that wasn’t possible given who you are and who I am. We bet 20 quid on it. He just won the bet.”

Arthur chuckled. “I still don’t understand why you thought I couldn’t fancy you. You’re strikingly handsome, you know. You're smart and kind. You’re a catch, I hope you realize. But where does that leave us now that I bared my soul to you?”

Merlin spoke from the heart then. “I am so attracted to you, Arthur, and I’d like for us to start dating. And I also want us to keep our commitment to the support group and follow the rule about no physical intimacy. Are you willing to wait until the group ends before we start dating? I’d like for us to go slowly too and not dive headlong into a relationship too quickly. I don’t want this to be a rebound relationship. It is too important, I mean, you are too important to me to risk that.”

“I think I can live with that, Merlin,” Arthur said with a happy smile. “Everything you said makes perfect sense. Can you promise that you’ll give us a chance after the group ends?”

“Yes, I promise, Arthur,” Merlin replied. 

“Do you think a chaste kiss on the cheek would violate the rule about physical intimacy?” Arthur ventured.

“I think that would be fine. I imagine that we’re being very responsible about adhering to group rules, don’t you?” Merlin replied.

Arthur approached Merlin and gently kissed his cheek. Merlin responded in kind. 

“OK if I tell Gwaine? Eventually I’ll have to fork over the 20 quid.” Merlin said with a grin.

“Yeah, OK by me,” Arthur replied. “And tell him that I got more hopeful after he talked about the guy from the States that he fancies.”

“Will do, but somehow I suspect that Gwaine already knows that. I have definitely been clueless compared to him.” Merlin said. 

They continued talking late into the night, until Arthur said that he had better head back to his flat as he had an early class tomorrow.

“Good night, Arthur,” Merlin said. “This has certainly been an eventful evening. Thanks for coming over, bringing the hoodie, and being such great company. I’m looking forward to a rewarding friendship and possibly more. It’s hard for me to be patient, but I think it’ll be worth it in the long run.”

“Hard for me too, Merlin,” Arthur responded. “And ditto about the great company. Remember what I said about you being strikingly handsome and a great catch. You are much too self-deprecating.”

Merlin smiled and closed the door gently after Arthur went out into the starry Camelot night.


	8. Arthur and Uther Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Uther receives Arthur's letter, Arthur is invited (summoned?) to the Chancellor's office. After the meeting, Arthur debriefs with Merlin.

Two days later Arthur received a terse email from his dad. His anxiety peaked as he opened the email and read, “Arthur, I received your letter. Please schedule an appointment with my secretary at your convenience. Dad.” 

Arthur didn’t know what to think. He tried to read between the lines, to figure out how his Dad reacted to the letter. The terseness of Uther’s email suggested that he was angry. As did the fact that he asked Arthur to schedule an appointment with his secretary to meet at the Chancellor’s office, rather than at his home or Arthur’s flat. But he did say “please” and he signed the email “Dad,” so that had to be a good sign, didn’t it? “I’m gonna drive myself crazy trying to interpret the email,” Arthur told himself. “I won’t know until the meeting.” He decided to call right away and schedule. 

Isolde, Uther’s secretary, answered on the second ring. “Hi Isolde, this is Arthur Pendragon. My dad wanted me to call and schedule a meeting with him. Does he have any availability on Monday?” 

“Oh, hi Arthur,” Isolde greeted him cheerfully. “Yes, your Dad said to expect your call. He has Monday at 2 p.m. available, will that work for you?”

So, he would be meeting with his Dad on Monday at 2 p.m. It was only Friday, which meant that there was a whole weekend to fret about the upcoming meeting with Chancellor Dad and he would also have to endure the several hours from the time he woke up on Monday until 2 p.m. in the afternoon. He needed a distraction. He decided to call Morgana. He ended up going over to the flat she and Leon shared that evening. Although Arthur hadn’t spent a great deal of time with Leon, he knew that Leon loved Morgana and their relationship was a happy one. He also knew that Leon was a friendly, laid back bloke and a very skilled woodworker. Leon had made a lot of the furniture in their flat, and all the pieces were beautifully crafted. 

Arthur filled Morgana and Leon in on what he had shared in the group. He brought along his iPad so they could read the letter he had sent to Uther. Morgana gasped as she read it. “You are a wonder, Artie, I can’t believe you actually sent this to him,” she gushed. “You have totally impressed me, little brother. And thank you for saying those amazing things about me and Leon. Way to stick up for your big sister, dude.”

Arthur didn’t know what to say, so he just smiled. Leon clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks, brother-in-law,” he said. “You’ve done us and yourself a solid.”

Arthur then told them about his Wednesday evening with Merlin. “So his name is Merlin, not Martin like I said before. I was trying to respect his confidentiality, but he said it would be OK to tell you his real name. I want you to meet him soon. We agreed to start dating after the group ends, which is at the end of the semester, just a few more weeks to go. I really want this to work, Morgs. I don’t think I’ve ever liked anyone before as much as I like him.”

“Sounds like your smitten, Artie,” Morgana teased. “I’m anxious to meet him.” Leon chimed in, “I’m in too. Let us know when we can finally meet Mr. Right.”

****

Later that weekend Arthur emailed Merlin: “Hi Merlin, Just writing to let you know that my Dad emailed and I’m meeting him on Monday at 2 p.m. I’m nervous as hell, don’t know what to expect. Will you have time to debrief with me Monday after 4 p.m.? OK if that doesn’t work for you. Arthur”

Merlin saw the email come in on his phone and responded right away: “Arthur, Of course I’ll be there for you. I can meet you anywhere you want after you talk to your Dad. Let me know if you want me to wait outside your Dad’s office. Happy to do that. Also let me know if you want to meet beforehand. Merlin”

Arthur’s reply came a few hours later: “Thanks, Merlin. You’re the best! How about I text you after I finish meeting with my dad, and I’ll let you know where to meet? Email me your cell number so I can text you. Arthur”

Wednesday at 2 p.m. finally rolled around. Arthur put on his best business suit. He kept telling himself, “I’m not dressing up to impress dad. I just don’t want to give him anything else to criticize me for.” He tried hard to still his shaking hands as he got off the elevator and headed towards the Chancellor’s office. He arrived exactly at 2 p.m. His father hated tardiness.

Arthur greeted Isolde in the reception area. “Hi Isolde, good to see you,” he said more cheerfully than he felt. “Arthur! So nice to see you,” Isolde exclaimed, and her smile was genuine. “It’s been too long, and look at you, all grown up and so handsome. I know your father is very proud of you.”

“If you only knew,” Arthur thought, but simply smiled at Isolde.

“Go on in, dear,” she said warmly, “Your father is expecting you.”

With trepidation Arthur knocked lightly on his father’s office door, which was slightly ajar. “Ah, Arthur. Yes, do come in and shut the door behind you.” Arthur did what his father asked and stood there, waiting for his father to invite him to be seated.

“Please sit down,” his father said, as if reading his mind. Father and son looked at each other in silence for a few minutes. “So, we’re here to talk about the letter you wrote to me,” Uther said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. “It wasn’t a pleasant letter to receive.”

“Here it comes,” Arthur thought. 

“No, not pleasant at all,” Uther said. “Actually it caused me considerable pain.”

“I’m sorry father,” Arthur said, “That was not my intention.” 

“I know, Arthur, please let me finish what I have to say. This is what I’ve heard faculty describe as a ‘difficult conversation.’“ He paused, then said as an afterthought, “That’s become kind of a new buzz term in higher ed.”

Uther continued, “There are a few important things I want to clarify. First of all, I never blamed you for Igraine’s—I mean your mother’s death, and I’m sorry that you ever felt to blame. It was a tragedy, yes, but your mother and I wanted a child so badly. We eagerly anticipated your arrival because we wanted so much to be parents together and to share our love for each other with you. You were right when you wrote that I was devastated by her death and the grief overwhelmed me, but I never once thought that you were to blame. I know your mother would have loved you with all her heart and that knowledge has never been far from my mind.”

Arthur’s eyes filled with tears. His father had never said anything like that to him before.

Uther continued, “So now we come to how I failed you as a father. You must know by now that you take after your mother. She had the same beautiful golden hair, the same bright blue eyes. Even the way you move sometimes and the way you look when you are deep in thought. Igraine—your mother looked just like that at times. I would look at you and see her, and the grief would come in waves. And so I distanced from you emotionally. When you were hurt and sad, it reminded me too much of when your mother was hurt and sad, and it was too much for me. That’s probably why I told you to “man up” as people are wont to say nowadays. I’m sorry that my responses caused you to feel that it’s wrong to feel emotional pain. Reading that in your letter made me realize that I hurt you deeply, and I’m sorry.”

Arthur choked up. His father had never apologized to him before. “Dad,” he started, but Uther said, “Let me finish, son, and then you’ll have your say, OK?”

Arthur nodded. Uther said, “I know I’m a bit of a control freak. At least that’s what I hear from a lot of the Camelot faculty and staff. And it never has been easy for me to admit when I am wrong. I know that I tend to piss a lot of people off because of these shortcomings. I know too that Morgana is furious with me because I told her Leon wasn’t good enough for her. I see now that was wrong of me. In my defense, I can only say that I always wanted the best for Morgana and for you, and I recognize now that I didn’t express that very well. You wrote in your letter that she and Leon are happy together, and I admit you would know that better than I. Perhaps I have been overprotective of Morgana and not acknowledged that, as you wrote, she gets to make her own choices."

Uther continued, “I’ve been thinking a lot about my control issues since receiving your letter. It’s one thing for your employees to accuse you of being a control freak, but hearing it from your kids, with examples of how it’s hurt them, well, that forced me to do some soul searching. I never wanted you to feel that I wasn’t proud of you, Arthur. You have made me immensely proud through the years, prouder than any father has a right to be, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that and you heard only criticism and disapproval from me.”

Tears were streaming down Arthur’s face, and for the first time in his life Arthur didn’t feel ashamed of crying in front of his father.

Uther handed him a tissue. “I don’t want you to feel sad, Arthur, but I want you to know it’s OK to feel and express sadness.”

Arthur’s voice shook as he said, “No, Dad, I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I am so relieved to hear that you’re proud of me. It means everything to me.”

Uther nodded and looked somewhat abashed. “We should also talk about your other disclosure, um, about your sexuality.”

Arthur only managed to say, “OK.”

“I guess your generation would consider me to be an old dinosaur,” Uther said with a chuckle. “I grew up in an era in which sex between men was frowned upon, to say the least. Homosexuality was considered deviance—a mental illness, a crime, or a sin. I never thought that I might have a son who would be sexually attracted to other men. It never occurred to me that was a possibility. The gay liberation movement was in its infancy when I was coming of age. As I was attracted only to women, I never gave the movement a second thought—it just wasn’t pertinent to me, or so I thought. Well, being a University Chancellor nowadays, I can no longer afford to be ignorant about sexual orientation and gender socialization. My peers, that is, other University chancellors and presidents, as well as the faculty and staff who report to me, expect me to be informed about all diversity and multicultural issues, including LGBTQ culture and politics. So I may be more knowledgeable than you’d expect. That said, I want you to know, that even though I might wish that you would eventually marry a woman and make me a grandfather, what I want above all is for you to be happy and to be in a loving relationship with whomever you choose.”

Arthur was astonished by his father’s words. With deep feeling he said, “Thank you, father, you don’t know how much that means to me. I love you, dad.”

Uther choked up and said, “It’s never been easy for me to say, given how I was raised, but I will try to say it more often. I love you, Arthur, with all my heart. Please forgive me for not being the kind of father you needed all these years.”

“You’ve already made up for that in our meeting today,” Arthur said.

Uther nodded, then said, “So tell me about this young man that you fancy. Does he deserve your interest? I cannot believe that anyone does, but then again I am biased.”

Arthur proceeded to tell Uther all about Merlin. “A student in our prestigious accelerated medical programme, eh?” Uther said. “I could live with my son being married to a physician, even a male one with the unusual name of Merlin Emrys. So, when can I meet him?” 

Arthur choked and no words came out. “Too soon?” Uther asked with a mischievous grin. 

Arthur nodded, then said, “Maybe at the end of the semester. Winter break, perhaps? I’m hoping things will be more settled with Merlin by then.”

“Well, if not, then he’s a fool and doesn’t deserve you,” Uther said emphatically. “You’re a Pendragon after all, and you inherited your mother’s good looks. I’ll expect you to invite Merlin over to the manse for dinner during winter break. Email me to schedule. And don’t worry, I’ll try not to embarrass you or him. I’ll be on my best behavior. Now give me a hug, son, and be on your way. I’m sure you have some schoolwork waiting for you. Or maybe a young med student?”

Arthur blushed. He stood and approached Uther. Then father and son shared a long overdue embrace. Arthur left the Chancellor’s office in a daze, scarcely believing that the last half hour of conversation had actually occurred. He made his way to the High Octane coffee shop. After sitting for a while and replaying the conversation in his mind, he pulled out his phone and texted Merlin: “Hey Merlin, I’m at High Octane. Meet me here whenever you can. Everything’s fine. Better than fine. I’ll tell you all about it when you get here. Love, Arthur”

It took Merlin no longer than 15 minutes to arrive at High Octane. Arthur saw him enter the coffee shop and waved him over to the booth he had claimed. He smiled happily when he saw that Merlin was wearing his new hoodie.

Merlin gave him a light kiss on the cheek and said, “You’re grinning from ear to ear. I assume it went well.”

“Better than I could have ever expected,” Arthur exclaimed. He gave Merlin a blow by blow description of the conversation. 

“Dad actually apologized and said he has always been proud of me!” Merlin loved seeing the excitement and joy on Arthur’s face. “Not only that, he said he was OK with me being bisexual and said he wants to meet you.”

“What?” Merlin nearly shouted. “That’s a frightening prospect. Meeting my boyfriend’s dad, who just happens to be the Chancellor of the university where I’m studying medicine. No pressure there.” 

Arthur grinned and said, “So I’m your boyfriend, huh? I thought we were gonna take it slow and not make any declarations for a while. What blew me away was that dad actually said, and I quote, 'I could live with my son being married to a physician, even a male one with the unusual name of Merlin Emrys.'”

Merlin blushed bright red, and then exclaimed, “Married! And I can’t believe he knows my name. He’ll probably scour my transcripts and my med programme application to ensure that I’m suited to court his precious son.”

Arthur smirked and said, “No worries, mate. I can wait until you’re ready to make a commitment. We haven’t even been on a proper date yet. And I can’t see dad looking up your academic records, he tends to be more ethical than that. But then again he may be tempted to violate ethical boundaries in order to protect his only son.”

Merlin punched his arm, “That’s not reassuring, you prat.”

Arthur didn’t miss a beat. “As for dinner with the pater, I put him off until winter break. He suggested that we go to the manse—I mean his house—for dinner some evening after the semester ends.”

It was Merlin’s turn to tease Arthur. “I heard those Freudian slips. PATER? THE MANSE? Who ARE you? Not at all posh or intimidating, no Sire.”

“Shut up, you idiot,” Arthur said with a smile. “We can build up to the Chancellor. Morgana and Leon want to meet you too, and I think you’ll find them much less intimidating than Uther. Maybe we can schedule a dinner date with them before the end of the semester?”

“I’d like that,” Merlin said. “Of course I want to meet your family. And maybe during winter break you can come to Ealdor and meet my mum. I haven’t told her anything about you yet, but I will next time we talk.”

“I would love to meet your mum,” Arthur said, “And I want to see where you grew up.”


	9. Camelot University Support Group - Fifth Session

The day after Arthur's meeting with the Chancellor, Merlin texted Gwaine: “Hey Gwaine, it’s been a while. You must be busy with Percy. BTW I owe you 20 quid. Call me when you can.”

Gwaine called a few hours later. “I knew it, man! I could tell by the way he stared at you when he thought no one was looking, and how he kept shooting me dirty looks when he thought we were together. You should have seen how relieved he looked when I told the group about Percy. So, you gotta tell me everything, and I have some news for you too. Are you free tonight, or are you seeing lover boy?” They agreed to meet at Gwaine’s flat at 6 and go out for some curry.

Over dinner, Merlin told Gwaine about his evening with Arthur last Wednesday, and how he found out that he was the guy Arthur fancied. “But we decided not to get physically intimate until after the group ends,” he said. “It’s important to me that we abide by the group rules.”

“You evidently have a lot more self-control and integrity than I do,” said Gwaine with a smirk. 

“Well, I want to take it slow with Arthur too. I have a real good feeling about this, but I don’t want to jinx it by rushing headlong into a passionate romance. Even though my feelings for him are quite strong.”

“I get it,” Gwaine said. “You got hurt not too long ago, so it makes sense to proceed cautiously. But it does seem like you know what you want. Fortunately, you won’t have to wait too long. After this week we only have three more group sessions before winter break.”

Merlin didn’t tell Gwaine anything about Arthur’s conversation with his dad. He figured it wasn’t his story to tell, and he knew Arthur planned to share it with the group tomorrow. So instead he said, “You said in your text that you had some news. What’s going on?”

Gwaine smiled. “Well, I planned to talk about this tomorrow in group, but you get to it hear it first. I finally asked Percy whether he’s straight, gay or bi.”

“And?” Merlin prompted. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

“He said he’s gay. Completely. Six on the Kinsey scale. Never been attracted to women, only men.”

“Keep going,” Merlin insisted. “There’s more to the story, I know.”

Gwaine nodded. “I took a big risk and asked if he would consider going out with me, and he said yes. I was ecstatic! I told him that I didn’t want us to jump into the sack because that had been a bad pattern of mine, and he took it really well. He said that he is sexually attracted to me, but he is willing to wait until I’m ready. It’s hard for me not to fall into my old patterns, but I don’t want it to be like that with Percy, you know? I mean, I want to have a genuine friendship with him, kind of like what you and I have, but adding sex to the mix.”

“Wow, Gwaine,” Merlin said, “sounds like you and I may both be on the path to true love. Let’s hope so, anyway.” Merlin couldn’t resist teasing Gwaine, “So, I guess that means you like like Percy?” 

“Idiot,” Gwaine said. “Now you sound like Arthur,” Merlin replied.

*****

The support group held its fifth session the next day. Arthur exuberantly told the group about his Monday meeting with Uther, describing the huge impact of his father’s words on his mental and emotional state. 

Dr. Hastings said, “You can feel so proud of yourself, Arthur, for taking a huge risk and doing something very courageous. I’m really happy for you that it turned out so well.”

Arthur said, “Thanks, Evan. I am grateful for everyone’s support. I couldn’t have done it without everyone here.”

Gwaine then told the group about his conversation with Percy. Surprisingly Freya was the first person to respond. “That is so great, Gwaine! I could tell how much you like the guy. It’s also wonderful that you have decided to take it slow. I’m impressed by how much progress you’ve made on your goals.”

Gwaine gave Freya a big smile and simply said, “Thank you.”


	10. Merlin Meets Morgana and Leon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin spend an evening with Morgana and Leon. Merlin starts wondering about his estranged father.

The next few weeks went by very quickly for Merlin. His scientific foundations and clinical medicine courses, plus the medical tutorials and research projects kept him occupied, and he often had to burn the midnight oil. Still he managed to carve out time in his busy schedule to see Arthur and Gwaine. He was blessed with a strong work ethic and a sharp intellect, so his first semester in the medical programme was going very well. In spite of a shaky start because of breaking up with Will, he was finishing the semester near the top of his cohort. 

During the last few weeks of the semester, Gwaine had finally introduced Merlin and Percy, and the two had taken an immediate liking to each other. “He’s so nice,” Merlin gushed when he and Gwaine met one afternoon at High Octane. “He’s like this giant teddy bear. You two are going to be a power couple on campus, I can tell.”

“Actually I think that title is reserved for you and Arthur, mate,” Gwaine teased. “Percy and I can’t compete with the Chancellor’s son and his brilliant boyfriend, who’s the brightest star in the medical school galaxy.” Merlin laughed and said, “That’s a gross exaggeration if I ever heard one.”

Merlin also received a text from Arthur inviting him to dinner at Morgana's and Leon’s flat the following Saturday. “They’re dying to meet you, and it will be completely casual,” Arthur texted, “I expect Morgana will serve pasta and salad. It’s kind of her specialty.”

“Sounds great,” Merlin texted back, “Looking forward to it.” 

On Saturday Arthur swung by Merlin’s flat at 6 p.m. and Arthur drove to Morgana and Leon’s place, which was about a half hour drive from campus. Merlin had bought a lovely bouquet of mixed flowers for Morgana, roses, mums, and snapdragons. He chose his own favorite color palette when it came to flowers—a mix of peach, rose, and light purple. 

Morgana came to the door to greet them, and Merlin was struck by her beauty. Were all the Pendragons gorgeous, he wondered? She looked nothing like Arthur—her hair was almost as dark as Merlin’s, her features were softer and her face was rounder and less angular than Arthur’s—but she was as stunning as Arthur. Morgana was Yin to Arthur’s Yang. 

Arthur introduced them, and Morgana gave Merlin a welcoming hug. “It’s so good to meet you, finally, Merlin,” she said. “He smiled and said, “Likewise. Thank you so much for inviting me.” Holding out the bouquet of flowers, he said, “These are for you. I hope you like the colors and varieties. I tend to be particular about flowers, so I worried that you might not like my choices.”

“Oh, they are gorgeous, Merlin. Thank you!” Morgana said. She then turned to Arthur and said, “Commit these flowers to memory, Arthur, and don’t forget that your guy said he’s particular about flowers.” 

Merlin and Arthur both blushed. Ignoring their embarrassment, Morgana said, “I’m going to put these lovely flowers in a vase. Please come in and make yourselves comfortable. Arthur, please introduce Merlin and Leon.”

Leon shook Merlin’s hand and pulled him in for a one-armed hug, which informed Merlin immediately that the attractive ginger was a warm and friendly bloke. “Arthur here told us about how the two of you met and became friends,” Leon said diplomatically. “So how is the first year of medical school going? I understand that it can be quite grueling.”

“Well, I’m relieved that the first semester is coming to an end,” Merlin replied, “and I’m happy to say that it wasn’t as bad as I expected. It helps that I’m a science geek and love what I’m learning. I didn’t think I’d have any time for a social life but it turns out I’ve been able to have an occasional afternoon or evening free to hang out with friends. Being here tonight is a welcome break from coursework.”

“So glad you could make it,” Leon said politely. “Morgs and I really wanted to meet you after Arthur talked about you.”

“I understand you’re quite an accomplished carpenter,” Merlin said.

Arthur chimed in, “He’s amazing. He made this coffee table, the rocking chair in the corner, and the dining room table and chairs.” Merlin stood up and walked over to admire each piece of furniture. “Your work is so beautiful, Leon,” he said with sincerity. “The coffee table is walnut and the other pieces are rosewood, no?” 

“Your Merlin knows his wood, Arthur,” Leon said. “Arthur blushed, thinking about the double entendre, but Leon seemed not to notice. 

Merlin said, “My dad was a woodworker of sorts. I don’t imagine he was as skilled as you, Leon, but he crafted a few things that are in my mum’s house in Ealdor. I never knew him because he and mum separated before I was born. I don’t have much of his except for this small dragon he carved for mum before they broke up.”

Merlin unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, unclasped the gold chain around his neck, and showed Leon and Arthur an exquisitely carved wood dragon, attached to the chain. “I believe this is black walnut, right Leon?” Merlin asked.

“Yes, indeed, and it is quite a beautiful piece,” Leon replied. “This kind of delicate, precise carving is not easy, especially on such a small piece. So, you’ve never met your dad?”

“Unfortunately not,” Merlin said. “I expect he’s still alive though, and I still harbor the hope to meet him someday. Mum has always seemed uncomfortable talking about him. I suspect she has some lingering emotional pain about his departure, so that has kept me from searching for him. I guess I worry about hurting her.”

“Do you know his name, Merlin?” Arthur asked gently.

“Yes, it’s Balinor Emrys, “Merlin replied. “My parents were still married when I was born, so I got his last name. I don’t know if they ever got divorced. Mum doesn’t like to talk about him, and so I learned not to ask too many questions.”

“Well, I hope you do get to meet your dad someday, Merlin,” Leon said kindly. “I’m sure he would be touched to know that you wear the dragon he carved close to your heart.”

The three men continued to talk until Morgana emerged from the kitchen and announced that supper was ready. As Arthur had predicted, she produced a large baking pan of steaming lasagna, a loaf of crusty garlic bread, and a beautiful blue cobalt ceramic bowl filled with a mixed green and tomato salad. The dining room table was gorgeously set with fine china, silver place settings, and crystal wine and water glasses. The flowers Merlin brought had been placed in a lovely Chinese blue and white vase and served as the centerpiece. Morgana lit several candles and turned off the chandelier hanging over the table. 

“So we can have a real candlelight supper, a la Mrs. Boo-kay, spelled B-U-C-K-E-T,” Morgana said. 

Merlin chuckled and exclaimed, “Hooray, another fan of Keeping Up Appearances! I adore Patricia Routledge.” They proceeded to share their favorite episodes of the hit BBC sitcom and gave their best imitations of Hyacinth Bucket. Soon everyone at the table was laughing uproariously.

“So, Morgana, I assume Arthur told you all about his meeting with your dad,” Merlin said.

“I couldn’t fucking believe it,” Morgana replied, “I nearly fell out of my chair when Arthur told me some of the things Uther said. For years now he has been totally impossible, and then he goes and does a complete 180.”

“So I gathered,” Merlin observed. 

“But that’s not all,” Morgana said. “A little more than a week after Arthur met with dad, Uther sends me this email. He alludes to his meeting with Arthur and says he’s recently done some soul-searching, and he now realizes that he may have been wrong about Leon and me. And he asks if we would consider coming to the manse for the holidays to see if we can wipe the slate clean and be family again. You could have knocked me over with a feather.”

“So, what did you decide, Morgana?” Arthur asked. 

“Leon and I talked about it,” Morgana replied. “Leon doesn’t hold a grudge like I tend to. He pointed out that Uther is trying to make amends and that it’s healthy to forgive. What makes it hard for me to forgive dad is that he treated Leon badly, and you know how protective I can be. Remember when I was 12 years old and I threatened that bully who picked on you when you were in third grade?”

Arthur smiled at the memory. Morgana continued, “Well, that’s kind of how I reacted when Uther said unkind things about Leon. You don’t mess with the people I love.”

“You sound scary, Morgana,” Merlin teased. “I promise not to hurt Arthur. I never want you to be mad at me.” 

Morgana laughed loudly and said, “I sense you won’t have anything to worry about.”

“So, did you respond to dad’s email?” Arthur asked.

“I did, although I didn’t give him a firm answer about the holidays,” Morgana replied. “I wrote ‘Thank you for the email. It came as a surprise. I will talk to Leon and we will reply to your invitation soon.’ Leon wants to go, don’t you Leon?”

Leon nodded. “The way I see it,” he said, “your dad has extended an olive branch and it would be petty not to accept it. I don’t believe in holding on to resentment. I think the research has shown that ongoing resentment is bad for one’s health—mental, emotional, and physical.” He then looked at Merlin and said, “Isn’t that right, doctor?”

Merlin grinned, “Yes, I’ve read something to that effect. Also that acts of kindness are beneficial to health.” 

Morgana asked Merlin how his adjustment to Camelot and to the medical programme was going.

“Initially it was hard,” Merlin admitted. “I missed my friends and my mum, and I felt pretty lonely. But eventually I started to make friends. Going to the counseling center helped a lot, and that’s where I met this lovely bloke,” inclining his head towards Arthur, “as well as my friend Gwaine, who has become like the brother I always wished for. As far as the med programme goes, in spite of the workload I’m really loving it. The first few semesters we focus on the critically important foundations of medical practice—you know, building on the science you learned in previous courses, deepening your understanding of medical research, and developing and honing your clinical skills. I’ve known for a long time that I wanted to become a doctor, but I never expected med school to be this exciting.” 

Morgana smiled at Arthur, who was looking at Merlin with pride. “You’re obviously passionate about your chosen career. That is so cool,” she said.

“So tell me more about you, Morgana,” Merlin said. “I don’t think Arthur has told me much except to say that I had to meet his ‘awesome sister’.” He made air quotes around the last two words. 

Morgana laughed. “I have a background in Marketing, worked for a couple of years at Northern Plains Software, my aunt’s company, before venturing out on my own. At Northern Plains I wrote copy and did web design, which was great experience. About two years ago I started my own company, Pendragon and Associates. We have about 20 clients, about half small businesses and the other half mid-size corporations. My staff and I develop marketing plans as well as print and online marketing materials. If you’d like, I can show you some stuff we developed for Leon’s woodworking business.” 

“I’d love to see it, Morgana,” Merlin said. 

Morgana then grinned and said, “I’m trying to recruit Artie to come work with me after he gets his MBA, but he’ll probably want to earn a lot more than I can afford to pay him.”

After hosts and guests had eaten their full, Morgana suggested that they retire to the living room.

Before getting up from the table, Merlin said, “That was the best meal I’ve had in ages, Morgana. Utter perfection—food, wine, and company. Thank you so much.”

“You’re very welcome, Merlin. I’m so glad this worked out for you and Artie.”

“Let’s all take a break from eating and drinking for now,” Leon said. “When we’re ready, there is dessert and tea or coffee, whatever you prefer.”

They all settled comfortably in the living room. Morgana retrieved her laptop and sat down next to Merlin on the sofa. “So let me show you what we developed for Leon,” she said.

She pulled up the print ads her team had created for Leon’s business, Mountbatten Woodwork and Carpentry. Then she retrieved the online ads and the website they had designed for Leon. Merlin was impressed by the sleek, clean look of each design. In all the marketing materials his eyes were drawn to the inviting photos of Leon’s impeccable creations. He also appreciated the way in which the clever and spare ad copy reinforced the beauty of the images and did not distract from them. He noticed how easy it was to navigate the website, and how each page was a work of art. He shared these observations with Morgana and Leon, who both glowed from the praise. 

“That’s exactly what we were going for, Merlin!” Morgana exclaimed. “It’s uncanny—almost like you read my mind about my goals for this project.”

“Well, if I ever have my own business, like if I go into private practice, now I know who to hire to do the marketing,” Merlin said with a smile.

The four of them continued talking for an hour or so, after which Leon served the dessert, tea and coffee. “This is the only dinner item that Morgs didn’t make,” he said. “We picked this up at Mercia, our favorite patisserie in Camelot. This strawberry trifle is one of their most popular and best loved creations.” 

The room became quiet as everyone enjoyed the delicious dessert. After another hour or so of conversation, it was time for Arthur and Merlin to depart. 

“This was a magical evening,” Merlin said to Morgana and Leon. “Thank you so much for inviting me. It was wonderful to meet you both and to know that Arthur has such a brilliant family.”

“The pleasure was all ours,” Morgana said. Leon nodded and smiled in agreement. “I hope that we will see you again soon. Perhaps during the holidays at the manse?”

“Yes, that would be lovely,” Merlin replied. “I think having you two there would decrease my anxiety about meeting the chancellor.”

Morgana laughed. “Well then, I guess we will have to accept Uther’s invitation, won’t we Leon?”

“Of course,” Leon replied. “Merlin and I can support each other when Uther shoots that intimidating, judgmental gaze at us.”

“I won’t let him do that,” Arthur chimed in. “I’ll tell him he’s being an arse.”

The visit ended in laughter as Arthur and Merlin made their way to the car. “They are brilliant, Morgana and Leon are,” said Merlin. “Thank you for arranging this evening. I had a wonderful time.”

Arthur pulled Merlin towards him and kissed his cheek. “You’re brilliant too, Merlin,” he said softly.

They sat in companionable silence on the half hour drive to Merlin’s flat. When they arrived, Merlin leaned over and kissed Arthur on the lips. Arthur leaned into Merlin, and soon they were kissing passionately. 

When they came up for air, Merlin said, “I think it’s close enough to the last group session that we could share that bit of physical intimacy, no? I don’t think I could have waited any longer to kiss you full on the lips. But let’s wait until group is over before we go any further, OK? Otherwise I’d feel too guilty.” 

“I’ll wait for you forever, Merlin,” Arthur replied. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Merlin gave Arthur one more passionate kiss before exiting the car and heading towards his flat. Arthur watched until Merlin entered his flat, then drove home, humming happily.

Morgana called Arthur the next morning. “He’s a doll, you can never let him go,” were the first words out of her mouth after Arthur answered his cell. “Tell me something I don’t know,” he said. 

“He’s beautiful,” Morgana gushed, “and smart, and kind, and it’s obvious you’re smitten with each other.”

“I’m glad you approve,” Arthur said, “I assume Leon does too?”

“Oh, by all means,” Morgana replied. “He said he found Merlin charming. That’s high praise from Leon. I don’t think he’s ever said that about another bloke. I could tell that Merlin really impressed him. He told me that Merlin recognized the different kind of wood in the furniture Leon made for us. He also liked how Merlin complimented me intelligently on the ads and website we developed for Mountbatten. You know how proud Leon is of my business. When Merlin made smart and kind comments about my work, Leon was completely won over.”

Arthur beamed. He was ecstatic that Merlin had made such a good impression on Morgana and Leon. He hoped that Uther would be equally impressed.


	11. Final Counseling Sessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin has his last individual counseling session with Gwen, and the support group meets for the last time.

During the time he had been attending the support group, Merlin had continued seeing Gwen once a fortnight. She had supported him through the hard times after Will had broken up with him. She had listened empathically to all his thoughts and feelings, about Will, Gwaine, Arthur, his mum Hunith, and Balinor, the dad he never knew. Gwen had been a gem, and Merlin treasured his individual counseling sessions with her. But he felt the time was coming for him to end counseling, both individual and group. 

Merlin had come a long way since the beginning of the semester. He had made good friends at Camelot. Not just Arthur and Gwaine, but he had also spent time with Freya and Morgause, was getting to know Percy, and he was finding a few kindred spirits in his medical school class. He also hoped that Morgana and Leon would become not only friends but family as well. He could honestly say that he was no longer heartbroken about the breakup with Will. He had moved on.

He wanted to give Gwen a meaningful gift to express his appreciation for supporting him through the breakup with Will and the challenging adjustment to Camelot U. He was especially grateful to her for recommending the support group. Had he not joined, he might never have met Freya, Morgause, Gwaine, who had become his best mate, and Arthur, whom he had come to love deeply. Merlin knew that counselors were reluctant to accept gifts from their clients, but he thought a small token of his appreciation would probably be OK.

At his final session with Gwen, Merlin presented his gift to her. “I wanted to express my gratitude to you for being there for me during a particularly difficult time,” Merlin said. “These sessions have been incredibly helpful, and you have been so very kind and understanding. So I had the bookstore personalize this Camelot U coffee mug for you. I figured you could accept a small token of my appreciation.”

He handed the gift bag to Gwen. She pulled out the crimson mug with the golden dragon and the words “Camelot University” on one side. On the other side, it read, “Gwen, Queen of Camelot.” 

Gwen’s eyes filled with tears and she said, “It’s perfect. Thank you, Merlin.”

*****

Merlin and his fellow group mates chipped in to buy a gift for Dr. Hastings. Today was their last group session. A lot of time was devoted to expressing appreciation to each other and to Dr. Hastings. Arthur and Merlin had decided to disclose their intention to officially start dating after the group ended. When there was a moment of silence after each group member had expressed gratitude for the group, Merlin seized the opportunity.

“I have something else to say,” he began. “Arthur and I have become a lot closer in recent weeks. Because the group rule was not to engage in physical intimacy, we haven’t broken that rule, except for a few chaste pecks on the cheek and one less than chaste snogging experience when I lost control of myself.” 

“You and me both,” Arthur deadpanned. Other group members chuckled. 

Merlin continued, “Before this final session ends, I wanted you all to know that we plan to start officially dating right after 4:30 p.m. this afternoon.” Merlin looked at Dr. Hastings and said, “Evan, I hope you’re not upset with us. It was important to me that we adhere to the group rules and for the most part we did. The group’s been so helpful to me, and I didn’t want to leave before our last session, even if it meant having to keep my feelings for Arthur at bay for a few weeks.”

Dr. Hastings grinned. “How could I be upset by romance? Especially considering the first interaction between you two. It’s kind of like Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy in Pride and Prejudice.” That elicited a few chuckles. The other group members congratulated Merlin and Arthur and wished them well.

Then Arthur spoke up. “Evan, we all want to express our appreciation to you for running this group and helping each of us deal with difficult situations. This group experience has been brilliant, and we’re all in better shape now than eight weeks ago. We’ve also become fast friends, and nothing can beat that. So here’s a small token of our appreciation. We hope it will remind you of each of us.” 

Arthur handed Dr. Hastings a gift bag. Evan pulled out a greeting card first. He teared up as he read eight heartfelt messages of gratitude from the group members. He then pulled out a long-sleeved crimson t-shirt. On the front of the shirt was Kilgarah, the familiar golden dragon, beneath the words “Camelot University” in old English lettering. When Evan saw the back of the t-shirt, he laughed so hard he clutched his sides. The back of the t-shirt read, “The Real Dr. Hastings. He has an effing Ph.D. His mum is just an MBBS.”

Evan pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Arthur. “Here, take a picture of me holding up the t-shirt. I’m gonna email the photo to my mum. She’ll give me shit for it, but it’s worth it.” 

Evan held up the shirt with a huge grin on his face, and Arthur took the picture. 

Evan said with heartfelt sincerity, “Thank you so much. You guys are awesome. I wish you all the best, and remember, you are always welcome to return to CAPS, any time you want or need to.” 

When the wall clock displayed 4:30 p.m., the group members stood up, exchanged hugs, and left the group room. Evan stayed behind for a few minutes, tearing up with a sense of loss, before he got up, turned off the lights, and locked the door behind him.


	12. Merlin Contemplates Searching for Balinor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin talks to his mum about Balinor and thinks more about trying to find his dad.

It had been a few weeks since Merlin had talked to his mum on the phone. He had sent her brief emails about how his schoolwork was going and how busy he was, but he hadn’t yet told her about Arthur. Ever since talking about his dad at Morgana's and Leon’s, he found himself longing for more information about Balinor. He felt torn between his desire for information and his reluctance to cause Hunith any emotional pain. After his last exam, he finally had some free time to call his mum and have a proper conversation. 

“Hi, Mum, how are you doing?”

“Merlin! It’s so good to hear your voice. I know you’ve been busy studying, so I didn’t want to bother you. How are your studies going?”

“Super," Merlin replied. I just had my last exam, and I think I did pretty well this semester, all things considered.”

“By ‘things’ you mean Will, no? How are you coping, dear?”

“Actually that’s one of the reasons I’m calling," Merlin said. "I’ve moved on from Will. Remember a while back I told you I had joined a support group on campus? Well, I met someone in the group and we started dating. His name’s Arthur, and I think he may be the one. I can’t think of the right term—soulmate? Life partner? I don’t know what to call it. Anyway, I want you to meet him soon, and he wants to meet you.”

“You’re sure you’re not jumping into to something too fast?" Hunith wondered aloud. "I worry about you getting hurt, especially after what happened with Will.”

“Not to worry, mum," Merlin tried to reassure Hunith. "I think you’ll stop fretting after you meet Arthur. There was a group rule that we couldn’t be physically intimate with anyone else in the group, so we’ve been waiting patiently and getting to know each other. And we’ve agreed to take it slow."

Not able to contain himself, Merlin gushed, "Mum, he’s wonderful! Initially I thought he was a prat, but first impressions can be so wrong. Turns out he’s smart and kind and brave and, well, he’s simply gorgeous. You’ll see when you finally meet him.”

Hunith laughed. “Sounds like you’re really head over heels, cariad.”

“I suppose I am,” Merlin admitted sheepishly. “Don’t worry, mum, I’m not blind to his faults. Like I said, we actually didn’t get along right away, but I gave him a chance and he surprised me when he let down his guard and I could see all his wonderful qualities.”

“So when I can meet this Prince Charming?”

“Well, I was thinking about us driving to Ealdor sometime during winter break? We will be spending at least one evening with Arthur’s father, sister and brother-in-law. Is it important to you that I spend Christmas Day in Ealdor?”

“You know that I’m not a stickler for tradition, Merlin," Hunith scoffed. "So long as you plan to spend a little time with me and Uncle Gaius during the holiday season. Gaius has asked me a lot of questions about how you’ve been doing in the med programme. I figure you can tell him all about it when you’re back in Ealdor.”

“Sounds like a plan, mum." With a bit of trepidation, Merlin ventured, "There’s something else I want to talk to you about, but it’s a little hard for me to bring up.”

“Merlin, you know you can talk to me about anything, " Hunith said emphatically. "Absolutely anything. We shouldn’t keep secrets from each other.”

Merlin took a few deep breaths before diving in. “OK, mum, here goes. I’ve been wondering a lot about Balinor, I mean dad. I know that’s a painful topic and it’s hard for you to talk about, so if you don’t want to have this conversation, let me know and I’ll drop it.”

Hunith hesitated before responding, “You’re right, it’s not easy for me to talk about your dad, but that shouldn’t prevent us from discussing him. You have a right to know about him.”

“It’s just that you hardly ever mentioned him, and whenever I asked about him you looked hurt. I hated seeing you hurt, so I stopped asking questions.”

“Oh, Merlin, I’m so sorry," Hunith groaned. "That was unfair to you. You should have been able to ask whatever you wanted to know, and I should have answered you honestly rather than clamming up. So, you’ve been curious for a long time.”

“I guess you could say that," Merlin admitted. "But not constantly. Recently the curiosity resurfaced when I was talking to Arthur and his brother-in-law, Leon, who is a woodworker. I showed Leon the little dragon I wear around my neck—he was impressed by the craftsmanship—and I started wondering about Balinor and whether he’s still alive and if he would ever want to meet me and what he would think of me.”

Merlin could tell that his mother was crying. “Mum, are you OK? Talk to me, please?”

“I feel so bad that I kept you from your dad, Merlin. It was a selfish thing to do.”

“Don’t talk crazy, mum. You have nothing to feel bad about. You gave me everything, sacrificed for me, raised me all by yourself.”

Hunith sighed, "You don’t know the whole story, Merlin, and I should have told it to you many years ago. Right after I learned that I was pregnant with you, I found out that Balinor had cheated on me. Nimueh, the other woman, called me and told me about their affair. She was gloating about it and deliberately trying to hurt me. And she succeeded. I was deeply hurt, furious and vindictive. Balinor and I had been married for two years. I loved him so much and couldn’t believe that he would betray me like that. I told him to get out and said I never wanted to see him again. I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant. We never got a divorce. I figured that I might seek a divorce if I ever fell in love again, but that didn’t happen. Balinor never contacted me after that—apparently he had no interest in divorcing me, so I suppose we are still legally married, even though I haven’t seen or heard from him in more than 20 years.” 

“Oh my God, mum," Merlin said sympathetically. " I’m sorry that he and that horrible woman hurt you so badly. No wonder it was hard for you to talk about him. I’m surprised you kept the wood carvings he made.”

“I wanted you to have something of Balinor’s even though I was so angry with him," Hunith explained. "I see traces of him in you, only the best parts of him, the things I loved about him.” 

“Do you know if he’s still alive, mum?” Merlin asked.

“I don’t know for sure, but I imagine so," Hunith replied. "I expect I would have heard if he had passed on. Through the years there have been moments when I got the urge to try and contact him. But I felt so guilty about not letting him know about you, and I worried about how angry he would be if he were to find out that he had such a lovely son that I’d kept from him. Months turned into years, years turned into decades, and it became harder and harder to reach out to Balinor.”

“Would it hurt you very much if I tried to find him, mum?" Merlin inquired kindly. "I do want to know if he’s still alive and, if so, I’d like to meet him. The two of you gave me life, after all.”

“I can’t say that I’m not scared about how he would react if you were to find him," Hunith admitted, "but I cannot in good conscience keep you from trying. That would be compounding a huge mistake I made in my youth, making it even more unforgivable.”

“It’s not unforgivable, mum," Merlin countered, "He hurt you so much. It’s understandable that you didn’t want him in your life or in mine. But maybe now is the time for reconciliation. We’re not the same people we were 22 years ago. And I won’t let him be mean to you if I do find him.”

“I love you, Merlin," Hunith said softly. "When did you become so wise?”

“You taught me, mum.”

*****

Merlin told Arthur all about the phone call with Hunith. He said, “After talking to my mum, I did a Google search but couldn’t find anything for Balinor Emrys. At least I didn’t find an obituary for him. I was scared about that possibility. I also searched on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. The search yielded only info about me and mum and curiously a Japanese website I didn’t understand—it had some cool pictures though. You’d think that in this day and age there would be some online trace of a person who was alive 22 years ago.”

“You’d think,” Arthur agreed. “Maybe he left the UK, or is living like a hermit somewhere? Or perhaps he changed his name?”

“I just don’t know what to do next," Merlin sighed. "I don’t want to give up, but I can’t afford to hire a private investigator.”

“I do have one idea, though,” Arthur said, “but it’s a long shot. You said it was strange that a Japanese website came up. Is it possible that your dad moved to Japan?”

“Anything’s possible," Merlin acknowledged, "but I’m afraid you’re right about it being a long shot.”

“I have a friend in my MBA program who’s from Japan. Hiroshi is his name. I could at least ask him to look at the website and tell us what it’s about. Send me the URL and I’ll ask him.”

“Will do, and thanks, Arthur.”


	13. The Ryuomo Website and Hot Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin learns more about the Japanese website. Arthur and Merlin shag for the first time, and it's hot.

The next day Arthur called Merlin. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, but there’s some potentially exciting news. Hiroshi looked at the Japanese website and he says it’s for a Manga series about a Japanese action hero named Ryuomo. Guess what Ryuomo means.”

“I have absolutely no idea, prat,” Merlin said with a chuckle. “How would I possibly know what that means?”

“It means Dragon Lord, Merlin. As soon as Hiroshi told me that, I thought about the small dragon you wear around your neck. It can’t be coincidence that you search for Balinor and a Japanese Manga website about a character called Dragon Lord comes up.”

Merlin let out the breath he was holding. “Yes, that would be a crazy coincidence. Did Hiroshi say anything else?”

“He said he didn’t see your dad’s name on the website but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. He said it was a huge website with a lot of pictures and Japanese text, and he didn’t have time to go through every page. He also said that there was the Japanese equivalent of a “contact us” option, and he’d be willing to send a message in Japanese for you.”

“That was very kind of him,” Merlin said. “Please tell him how much I appreciate his help. I’ll email you a brief message for the website, and it would be great if Hiroshi can send a Japanese translation to the webmaster.”

Immediately after ending the call, Merlin emailed Arthur: "Hi Cariad, Can you come over to my flat this evening? Here’s the message for Hiroshi: 'My name is Merlin Emrys and Balinor Emrys is my father. If Balinor is connected to this website, please ask him to email me at emrys.merlin@camelot.ac.uk. Thank you.'”

About an hour later, Arthur texted Merlin: "Just sent the message to Hiroshi. I’ll come by around 6 p.m."

*****

That evening Arthur and Merlin enjoyed a casual dinner in Merlin’s living room. Merlin had made a pot of vegetarian chili, which they washed down with glasses of Guinness. 

“This is delicious, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Didn’t know you could cook.”

“I’m a man of many talents,” Merlin joked. 

After dinner Merlin put his hand on Arthur’s thigh and began stroking it gently. Looking into Arthur’s eyes with a solemn and earnest expression, he whispered, “Please make love to me, Arthur.”

“Are you sure?”

“Completely.”

Merlin stood up, extended his right hand to Arthur, then pulled him up from the sofa and led him to the bedroom. They crashed onto the bed and began kissing passionately, exploring each other with lips and tongues. Merlin unbuttoned and removed Arthur’s shirt, and then buried his face in Arthur’s golden chest hair. He then began to explore Arthur’s well-defined pecs with his mouth, lingering on his nipples which immediately hardened. Arthur moaned with pleasure. When Merlin grabbed the bulge in Arthur’s jeans, Arthur gently pushed his hand away so that he could remove his jeans and boxers. When his cock sprang out, already hard as hickory, Merlin took it deep into his throat and Arthur gasped.

Merlin worshipped Arthur’s cock until Arthur whispered, “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna come and it’s much too soon. I want this to last.” 

Merlin looked up at Arthur and smiled. “OK,” he said, “I agree it’s too soon for either of us to come.”

“I want to pleasure you,” Arthur said. “Please let me see you naked,” he begged. 

Merlin quickly removed his shirt, jeans and boxers. Arthur gazed in wonder at Merlin’s lithe and wiry frame, more muscular than he had imagined. He grabbed Merlin’s hard cock as he began pleasuring the younger man with his mouth and tongue. Arthur gagged as he tried to envelop the entire length of Merlin’s shaft with his mouth. He bobbed his mouth up and down on Merlin’s cock as the raven moaned.

“Not yet,” Merlin muttered, “much too soon.” Arthur shifted until he was face to face with Merlin. They kissed deeply, while pressing their engorged cocks together.

“Fuck me, Arthur, please,” Merlin pleaded. 

“You sure you want me to?”

“Yes!” Merlin exclaimed.

“Lube and condom?” 

Merlin reached over to the night table and opened the drawer with one hand, pulling out a condom packet and a container of lube, and placing them within Arthur’s reach. Arthur ripped the foil package open and rolled the condom over his cock, lubed up Merlin’s opening and his own fingers, and entered him with one finger, then two, then three, allowing Merlin to relax and get comfortable with each increase in penetration.

“Doing OK?” Arthur asked gently.

“Yeah, I think I’m ready for your cock,” Merlin replied.

“Let’s change positions so you can control it,” Arthur suggested.

Arthur then lay on his back and Merlin lowered himself onto Arthur’s cock. He winced at the initial shot of pain when the head of Arthur’s cock entered him, but the pain quickly subsided and the two men began rocking together. 

“So amazingly tight, you feel so good,” Arthur groaned, “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

His palm and fingers slick with lube, Arthur grabbed Merlin’s rock-hard cock and started fisting up and down the shaft.

“You feel so good inside me,” Merlin whispered. “Yeah, that’s right, keep wanking my cock. So goddamn hot.”

“I’m getting close, so close,” Arthur said. “Me too,” Merlin replied, “whenever you’re ready, spill your load inside me.”

“Ohhh, here I come,” Arthur gasped. “Do it for me, baby,” Merlin yelled.

Arthur continued to fist up and down on Merlin’s cock, even as he climaxed. Seconds later Merlin yelled, “Arthur!” as he spurted ropy streams of jizz all over Arthur’s chest. Arthur’s cock slipped out of Merlin, who then collapsed on top of his golden lover, spreading his sticky jizz all over their sweaty chests.

“Best sex ever,” Arthur panted. “I love you, Merlin.”

“I love you too, Arthur.”

They lay there for a while in silence, both exhausted from the intense workout. 

Eventually Merlin fetched a wet washcloth and a clean towel. After they cleaned up, Merlin said, “Stay the night?”

“Anytime you want me to,” Arthur replied.


	14. Merlin Receives a Response from Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin receives a response to the message Hiroshi sent on his behalf through the Ryuomo website.

Two days later Merlin received an email that blew his mind:

_Merlin Emrys,_

_The webmaster of the Ryuomo Manga website emailed me an English translation of the Japanese message you sent through the site. I am curious about how you found me. I’m also disconcerted that you claim to be my son, as I have not fathered any children._

_Balinor Emrys_

Merlin responded immediately:

_Dear Mr. Balinor Emrys,_

_I know that this will come as a shock to you, and may perhaps be unwelcome news, but I am the son of Hunith Emrys, whom you married 25 years ago. I believe that you and my mum may still be legally married, as I understand that neither of you has pursued a divorce. It’s a rather sad story, but my mum had her reasons for never telling you about me. Mum was pregnant with me when you and she separated, and she chose not to tell you because she was hurt, angry, and determined to move on with her life. I know that she now regrets having kept me a secret from you and having, to a lesser extent, kept you a secret from me._

_As for how I found you, I searched the Internet for your name, and the Ryuomo website came up. This was confusing to me because the entire site appears to be in Japanese. At first I thought the website could have nothing to do with you, but then a friend pointed out that Ryuomo is the Japanese term for Dragon Lord. I possess a small wood dragon that I believe you carved before I was born, and so I thought this might not be mere coincidence—hence my message to the Ryuomo website._

_I expect that you may have no interest in meeting me, but I would like to know more about you and perhaps meet in person, if you’d be open to that. I hope you can understand why I’d like to meet you. In case you are having a hard time believing that I am indeed your son, I am attaching a photo of myself wearing the wood dragon around my neck. I have worn it since I was 8 years old. I expect you will recognize it._

_Sincerely,_

_Merlin_

After three days of receiving no reply from Balinor, Merlin assumed that his father had no interest in connecting with him. So he was quite surprised when a message from Balinor finally appeared in his inbox:

_Dear Merlin,_

_My apologies for taking so long to reply to your message. I needed time to process the information you shared. You were right, it came as a shock, but was by no means “unwelcome news.” It’s hard to believe that I have a son who is now 22 years old. I am simultaneously delighted (I have a son!) and frightened (I don’t want to mess this up like I did my marriage to Hunith). I admit to initially feeling some anger towards your mum for keeping her pregnancy a secret from me, but upon reflection I suspect I am mostly to blame, having hurt her so deeply._

_My infidelity, which caused my separation from your mum, was an enormous lapse in judgment, a huge mistake. I never wanted to leave, but I felt so ashamed and remorseful for causing her pain. How could I deserve her after what I did? I believe that, had I known she was pregnant with our child, with you, I would have fought tooth and nail to stay together. But of course I’ll never know for sure what I would have done._

_I expect that Hunith did an amazing job as a single parent, and I regret that I was not there to see you grow from infancy to young adulthood. It was a surreal experience to see the photo you sent, wearing the wood dragon I carved two decades ago. I have spent a lot of time gazing at that photo. It looks like you inherited my long, lean build, dark hair, and high cheekbones, and your mother’s beautiful eyes and expression. I would very much like to meet you in person soon._

_Right now I am in Osaka working on the latest book in the Ryuomo Manga series. Ten years ago I developed the character of Ryuomo, the Japanese Dragon Lord, and created the stories that became books in the Manga series. I am by no means fluent in Japanese, but I work with a creative team of translators and illustrators who bring the stories to life. I am pleased that the series has become so popular, especially among Japanese youth._

_I will be back in the UK after the New Year, and would very much like to meet in person, perhaps some time in January. When I’m in the UK, I live in a flat in the Islington area of London, but I can also arrange to travel to you. From your email address, I assume that you are a student at Camelot University? Please write back and tell me more about you—I am anxious to hear anything and everything you are willing to share about your life._

_Love,? Sincerely?, (What is appropriate in this situation?)_

_Balinor? Dad? (What would you prefer?)_

A warm feeling suffused Merlin’s body as he read the email. It was astonishing that this man, this stranger whom he had not yet met in person, was actually his father. It took Merlin over a week to reply. He wrote a long email describing his early life in Ealdor, his interest in science, his decision to study medicine at Camelot U. He disclosed his sexual orientation to Balinor, hoping that his father would accept it. He wrote about his feelings for Arthur and his past relationship with Will. He told Balinor that he looked forward to meeting him in January. He added that he was more than OK with “Love, Dad” as Balinor’s closing words. Merlin closed his own email with “Love, Merlin (your son).”


	15. A Christmas Gift for Uther and Christmas Eve with Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin helps Arthur choose a gift for Uther. Arthur and Merlin spend Christmas Eve with Gwaine and Percy.

As Christmas was fast approaching, Arthur and Merlin spent several hours discussing what gifts would be suitable for family members and friends. The hardest person to buy for was Uther. What do you give to a man who almost literally has everything?

“I have an idea,” Merlin said, after they had almost given up in frustration. “He wants to have better relationships with his children.”

“Uh, yes, I suppose,” Arthur said, “so what do you suggest?”

“You told me he likes classical music. How about a weekend in London with you and Morgana? You could all go to a Philharmonic concert.”

“That’s a great idea, Merlin,” Arthur said excitedly. “But I want you and Leon to come too.”

Merlin hesitated. “No, I don’t think so, Arthur. Uther hasn’t even met me yet, and I’m sure he would prefer to spend time alone with his son and daughter, without your significant others tagging along. There will be many opportunities to include me and Leon in future family get togethers. This is a Christmas gift for Uther, and I think it would be more special to him if it were just you and Morgana.”

“Okay, but you know I’d enjoy it more if you were there.”

“Just remember that this is for your dad,” Merlin said. “Besides, if I were there I’d probably distract you from really bonding with him.”

“You’re probably right,” Arthur sighed. “Am I not always?” Merlin said with a grin.

After that conversation, Arthur called Morgana, told her about Merlin’s idea and asked if she wanted to go in on it with him. 

“Merlin’s brilliant,” Morgana exclaimed. “We can stay overnight in London and come back to Camelot the next day. That sounds like such fun! I always love spending time in London. How about you check the orchestra schedule? A concert on any Saturday night should work for me. After you order the concert seats, text me the date and I’ll go to work on hotel reservations. I can probably get a deal through my business contacts.”

A few days later Arthur texted Morgana with the date and time of the concert he selected. He wrote, “Javier Perianes is playing Beethoven’s Emperor Piano Concerto, which dad loves. We can leave for London on Saturday morning, check into a hotel, and have a nice leisurely supper before the concert. I’ll try to book a table at Trullo in Highbury, which I heard dad rave about in the past. Shouldn’t be hard to get a reservation with this much lead time. Actually I’ll plan all the London meals that weekend.”

With dad’s gift settled, Arthur just had to figure out what to get for Morgana, Leon and Merlin. 

*****

It was the week before Christmas, and Arthur and Merlin had confirmed their holiday plans. They would spend Christmas Eve at Arthur’s flat with Gwaine and Percy, and Christmas Day at the manse with Uther, Morgana, and Leon. On Boxing Day they would drive to Ealdor and spend a few days with Hunith and Gaius. Balinor had arranged to arrive in Camelot on Twelfth Night and had booked a three-night stay at The Rising Sun Inn. Merlin was excited about the prospect of meeting his dad for the first time. He and Balinor had agreed to spend a few days getting to know each other. Merlin was also looking forward to introducing Arthur to Balinor.

Merlin had been anxious about how his mum would react to the news that he would finally meet his father, but he needn’t have worried. Hunith had prepared herself for that eventuality and was genuinely happy for Merlin. However, she wasn’t quite as composed about the possibility that she and Balinor might meet again. She realized that, even though more than 20 years had gone by, she still experienced some residual hurt and anger. Nonetheless, those feelings wouldn’t stop her from supporting Merlin and prioritizing his happiness.

On Christmas Eve Arthur and Merlin hosted Gwaine and Percy at Arthur’s flat. The two couples had become fast friends during the past few weeks. Percy couldn’t afford to fly back to the States for the holidays, so with help from Arthur and Merlin, Gwaine did his best to ensure that Percy would enjoy Christmas in the UK. After spending Christmas Eve at Arthur's, Gwaine and Percy would be travelling to Caerleon to spend Christmas Day and Boxing Day with Gwaine’s family.

Arthur and Merlin spent the day in Arthur’s kitchen, fixing Christmas Eve dinner. They enjoyed preparing the meal together, listening to their favorite tunes and singing along as they prepared a prawn cocktail appetizer, roast turkey with trimmings, roasted potatoes, brussels with chestnuts, and a yule log for dessert. 

“This is quite the production,” Arthur said. “I’ve never made anything so fancy before.”

“Probably because you are a posh prat and had servants making all your meals,” Merlin teased.

“Hey, watch it!” Arthur said good naturedly. “I am neither posh nor a prat. And stop insulting your boyfriend.”

Merlin laughed and said, “But it’s so much fun.” 

“Idiot,” Arthur grumbled, but without heat.

As soon as Gwaine and Percy arrived around 7 p.m. the wine began to flow, and the four men clinked their goblets together, wishing each other a very happy Christmas. The three Brits told Percy all about holiday traditions in the UK, and Percy described how his American family celebrated Christmas. The lads shared their reflections about the year that was about to end and their hopes for the new year. Percy said that it had always been his dream to study in the UK, and he was ecstatic when he received his letter of admission to the Kinesiology program at Camelot U. He said that he was leaning towards a career as an exercise physiologist in a hospital setting. Gwaine, on the other hand, said that he would prefer working as a consultant to a professional sports team, preferably a footie team.

“Oh, Gwaine, that’s just because you have a huge crush on Fraser Forster,” Merlin teased. “Maybe the fact that he’s slightly over two meters tall and reminds you of Percy has something to do with it.”

Percy blushed but joined in the laughter. He had recently grown accustomed to how Merlin and Gwaine teased each other and found that he enjoyed their friendly banter. It expressed warmth, caring, and easy camaraderie.

“Touche, Merlin,” Gwaine said with a grin. “Fraser is definitely hot, but Percy is hotter.” 

“Shut up,” Percy mumbled, “you’re embarrassing me.” But he looked pleased.

The conversation continued through the Christmas Eve dinner. 

“This is a pretty typical British Christmas meal,” Arthur explained to Percy. “It’s customary to have some kind of seafood appetizer before the main course, hence the prawn cocktail. Tomorrow at my dad’s we’ll probably have goose rather than turkey, and Christmas pudding instead of a yule log, but that’s because Uther is such a traditionalist. Do you miss spending Christmas with your family this year?”

“A little,” Percy admitted, “but it’s a real treat to spend time with Gwaine, and with you and Merlin, of course. I’m also looking forward to meeting Gwaine’s family tomorrow. I think the plan is to announce that we’re together, which makes me a bit nervous, I have to confess.”

“They will absolutely love you, Perce,” Gwaine said. “Nothing to worry about at all. I told them a long time ago that I’m bi. They’ll just be happy that such a hunky bloke has made an honest man of me. Besides you’ll tower over everyone in my family, so they’ll be scared of you.”

“Very funny, Gwaine,” Percy said with a grin. “What about you, Merlin?” Percy asked. “Are you nervous about meeting the chancellor tomorrow?”

“Completely petrified,” Merlin said emphatically. “The saving grace is that Leon will be there, so I won’t be the only one whose suitability is being evaluated.”

“You also have nothing to worry about, Merlin,” Arthur said. “If Uther exhibits any unkindness to you Morgana and I will give him hell.”

“That’s reassuring,” Merlin said in a teasing way. “I always love to cause family conflict and drama.”

“Clotpole,” Arthur said. 

“Hey, that’s my word for you,” Merlin countered. “You don’t get to call me that.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, and Gwaine laughed.

Every course in the Christmas Eve feast had turned out well, and before long the four lads were completely full. They all agreed to take a breather before delving into the yule log. It was time to exchange Christmas gifts. 

Arthur and Merlin gave Gwaine and Percy tickets to the upcoming three-day national championship event organized by British Universities and Colleges Sport (BUCS), the UK body that governs British university sports. The championship event would take place in Sheffield in February. Arthur and Merlin had also booked and paid for a three-night stay for Gwaine and Percy at the Hotel Novotel in Sheffield. 

The couple was overwhelmed by the gift. “Mates, this is way too much,” Gwaine protested. 

“Nonsense,” Merlin replied. “We know you two jocks will love the event. Besides, why have posh Pendragon friends if you can’t benefit from Pendragon connections from time to time?” 

“Thank you so much,” Percy said. “You guys are brilliant.”

Arthur laughed and said, “Percy said ‘brilliant.’ He’s become one of us!” 

Gwaine and Percy gave Arthur and Merlin gift certificates for therapeutic massages at the campus recreation center and a Breville Sous Chef food processor. 

Gwaine said, “The massages are so you’ll both stop bitching about how stressed you are. And until you guys move in together, you’ll have to decide who gets temporary custody of the food processor. Or maybe you can move it from flat to flat, depending on who’s hosting a fancy dinner like the one we just enjoyed.”

Arthur and Merlin thanked their guests for the perfect gifts, and the two couples exchanged hugs. 

Before long it was time for coffee and dessert. Arthur emerged from the kitchen carrying a large tray containing a pot of freshly brewed coffee and the yule log, along with mugs, dessert plates, and silverware, plus cream and sugar for the coffee.

“This is a Mary Berry recipe,” Merlin announced as he served the yule log. “You know, the Great British Bake Off show?” 

Gwaine laughed. “Who knew our Dr. Emrys was so domestic?” he said. “Arthur, you better watch your weight married to this one.”

“Don’t worry, Gwaine,” Arthur replied. “I’ll only let him make Mary Berry recipes on special occasions. But I have to admit this yule log is one of the best desserts I’ve ever had, and it goes so well with coffee. Nothing better than a blend of coffee and chocolate.”

“Couldn’t agree more, mate,” Gwaine said.

The friends continued to talk and laugh until 11 p.m., at which point Gwaine said, “Perce and I have a long drive to Caerleon tomorrow, so we’d best be shoving off and heading to bed. This has been a blast; I wish we could stay and chat through the wee hours, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end.”

“Thank you for making my first Christmas in England so special,” Percy added.

“Our pleasure, big guy,” Merlin said affectionately. “I’m so glad we became friends. You and Gwaine are perfect for each other.”

Arthur retrieved their guests’ coats. He and Merlin escorted them to the door. “Merry Christmas, mates,” he said. “See you soon, I hope.” The hosts embraced their guests and watched as they headed out into the wintry Camelot night.

After closing the door, Merln said, “Shall we clean up tomorrow? I don’t think I have the energy tonight.” 

“Sure,” Arthur replied. “You want to make it an early night?”

“Sounds good to me,” Merlin said, “Let’s just put the perishables in the fridge and head off to bed.”

“Does that mean no sex tonight?” Arthur asked with a raised eyebrow.

“The desire is there, believe me, but I am so wiped out,” Merlin replied. “How about we make out and wank each other off? That would be hot, and I should have just enough stamina for it.”

Arthur grinned, “Works for me. So long as you promise me a marathon after the holidays.”

“Deal,” Merlin said, leaning over to kiss his lover.


	16. A Leisurely Christmas Morning and Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin spend a leisurely Christmas morning and afternoon at Arthur's flat before heading off to Christmas dinner at Uther's manse.

Arthur and Merlin slept in late on Christmas Day. It was past 10:30 a.m. when Merlin opened his eyes and saw that Arthur was already awake and looking at him.

“Sleep well?” Merlin asked. 

“Like a log,” Arthur replied, scooting close to Merlin and kissing him softly on the lips. “You’re beautiful,” he said. 

“I am so in love with you, Mr. Pendragon,” Merlin said. “To prove it, I’ll go make us some coffee and breakfast, and then clean up the place.” He kissed Arthur’s cheek, groaned as he rolled out of bed and stumbled off to the kitchen.

Caffeine helped Merlin to feel more human, and after eating a bowl of oatmeal with sliced bananas and strawberries, he felt sufficiently energetic to start cleaning up the remnants of last night’s festivities. A couple of hours later Arthur’s flat was as clean and tidy as it had ever been.

Merlin looked around the flat and, satisfied with his work, he put Paul McCartney’s solo album, recorded way back in 1970, in the CD player. He poured himself another cup of coffee and plopped down on the sofa. 

Arthur came over and sat down next to him. “Thanks for making breakfast and cleaning up, cariad,” he said. 

“You’re welcome,” Merlin said. “This is one of my favorite albums. My mum turned me on to it when I was a kid. I was enchanted by how understated it was, just Paul by himself, without John, George and Ringo, showcasing his gift for melody, great voice, and love for Linda. I was surprised to see that you have it, given how long ago it was recorded.”

“I love the album too,” Arthur said. “It was in my dad’s music collection when I was growing up. I always thought it was probably my mum’s, as Uther was never much into rock or pop music. He definitely prefers Mozart and Beethoven to the Beatles.”

“I worry that albums and CDs are becoming obsolete,” Merlin said, “what with everyone streaming and all the other ways to listen to music now. But there’s something special about holding the product in your hands, reading the liner notes and admiring the artwork.”

When the song “Maybe I’m Amazed” started playing, Merlin pulled Arthur close and ran his fingers through his lover’s beautiful golden hair. He whispered the final verse to Arthur in the same rhythm as Sir Paul’s singing: “Maybe I’m amazed at the way you help me sing my song, right me when I’m wrong, maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you.” Arthur nuzzled against Merlin with happy tears in his eyes.

They spent Christmas afternoon relaxing on the sofa and listening to music. At around 5 p.m. they started getting ready to go to the manse for Christmas dinner. 

“Don’t forget to bring your gifts for the family,” Merlin reminded Arthur. “And we need to stop at my flat so I can change clothes and pick up my gifts.” 

When Arthur emerged from his bedroom, dressed to the nines, Merlin whistled. “You are so handsome, cariad,” he said. “I’ll have to see what I can scrounge up at my flat so that I look halfway presentable.”

When they arrived at his flat, Merlin made a bee line for his bedroom to search for his best clothes. Arthur and Morgana had warned him that the Pendragons had a tradition of dressing for Christmas dinner. “Not completely formal,” they said, “but men wear jackets and ties, and women wear long dresses and fancy jewelry.” 

Merlin was relieved that he had brought at least one decent suit from Ealdor, a Michael Kors blue pinstripe that he thought would look conservative enough for the occasion. He had purchased a crimson and gold school tie from the campus bookstore, thinking that it would look nice with a crisp white button down and Uther might appreciate the effort. He hoped it wouldn’t look as if he were trying too hard to impress. 

After checking his look in the full length mirror, he returned to the living room and asked Arthur, “What do you think? Do I look OK?”

“Good enough to eat,” Arthur said with a flirty look.

Grabbing a shopping bag full of Christmas gifts, Merlin said, “Well, let’s go face the music.”


	17. Christmas Dinner at the Manse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur, Merlin, Morgana and Leon enjoy Christmas dinner at "The Manse," Uther's home.

Arthur and Merlin drove through the main entrance to Uther’s property and Merlin had his first glimpse of the five-bedroom manse, which was surrounded by four acres of lush English countryside. 

“Well, at least it’s not as posh as Downton Abbey,” he joked, “but still a lot posher than I’m accustomed to.”

Arthur laughed. “Don’t be nervous. You’ll be fine and I’ll make sure you don't commit any faux pas."

"Clotpole," Merlin muttered.

They walked through the unlocked front door, Arthur leading the way. Uther immediately stepped forward to greet them. Merlin recognized him at once from photos he had seen on the university website. Almost as tall as Merlin, Uther cut a handsome and impressive figure. Merlin could tell that his hair was originally the same color as Morgana’s, but now was a blend of dark brown and silver, which contributed to Uther’s distinguished appearance. Merlin was surprised by Uther’s friendly smile, which reached his attractive emerald-colored eyes.

“Welcome, lads,” Uther said heartily. After hugging Arthur, he extended his hand to Merlin and said, “Merlin, I assume? So glad you could make it.” 

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir, and thanks for inviting me,” Merlin responded. 

“Please, call me Uther. No need for formality. And do come in and make yourselves comfortable.” Indicating the shorter middle-aged man standing attentively behind him, Uther said, “George here will take your coats and packages.”

At that point Arthur spoke up. “Merry Christmas, George, it’s good to see you. You and your family are well, I trust?” 

“Merry Christmas, Arthur,” George replied. “A real pleasure to see you again at the manse. My family and I are doing quite well, thank you.” 

Arthur stepped to Merlin’s side and laid his hand gently on Merlin’s back. Then addressing George, he said, “George, please meet my partner, Merlin Emrys. Merlin, this is George Odell, whose love and support have sustained me for the past ten years.”

George and Merlin shook hands. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Odell,” Merlin said politely. 

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Emrys,” George said, equally polite.

George then took Arthur’s Burberry and Merlin’s London Fog, draping the coats over his left arm, as he deftly grabbed the two bags full of Christmas presents with his free hands. He said, “I’ll go hang your coats up in the center hall closet and put the gifts under the tree.” 

“Thank you,” the lads replied in unison.

Arthur and Merlin then followed Uther into a large sitting room. A beautifully decorated Fraser fir, more than two meters tall, stood in front of a large bay window. A blazing fire in an impressive stone fireplace warmed the room. Above the fireplace was a stunning seascape in an ornate gold frame.

“Is that an original Turner?” Merlin gasped. 

“Indeed it is, Merlin,” Uther replied.

“It’s brilliant,” Merlin whispered, thinking how lame that probably sounded.

“Are you a fan of Turner’s, then? Uther asked.

“One of my favorites,” Merlin replied. “While I tend to admire all the British landscape painters of that era, I would say that Turner and Constable are my favorites.”

“Well, then, I have another treat in store for you,” Uther replied. “There is an original Constable in the study. After Christmas dinner, I’ll be happy to show it to you.”

“I would love that, Uther,” Merlin said with enthusiasm.

“I expect that Morgana and Leon will be joining us soon,” Uther said, “after which we will have Christmas dinner. But meanwhile, let’s get better acquainted, shall we?”

“Yes, by all means,” Merlin said agreeably.

“So, I understand you started the graduate-entry accelerated medical course this semester,” Uther began. “How did your first semester go?”

“Well, of course the program is quite rigorous, as one would expect,” Merlin replied, “but I survived.”

Arthur chimed in, “He’s being terribly modest and self-deprecating, dad.” With a teasing grin he added, “Merlin ranked near the top of his class. He wouldn’t tell me his exact ranking, probably because he didn’t want me to know how big of a geek he is.” 

Merlin chuckled. Looking at Uther he said, “I’ve already admitted to Arthur that I’m a big science nerd, which has really helped me do well this past semester. I studied Biology and Biochemistry at Avalon and loved it. When you’re excited about what you’re learning, it’s easy to stay focused and put the necessary time and effort into your studies.”

“Do you know what branch of medicine you want to pursue yet?” Uther asked.

“I’m still exploring, Uther,” Merlin replied, “and I understand that the upcoming clinical rotations will help me to clarify what I’m most suited to do. At this point, however, I’m very drawn to pediatric oncology. It’s so unfair that some kids have to deal with a cancer diagnosis and experience intense pain and discomfort so early in life. And so tragic when a child succumbs to the disease. I’d really like to contribute in some way to mitigating children’s suffering. Arthur was telling me about his internship with a med tech company that manufactures robotics to help children in hospital settings. That was very exciting to me. Eventually I’d like to do medical research that has the potential to improve children’s quality of life.”

“Hear, hear,” Uther replied. Arthur shot his boyfriend a look of admiration.

“I’m curious, Merlin,” Uther said, “Apart from being as you say a science nerd, were there other factors that influenced you to pursue a career in medicine?”

“Apart from my avid interest in all sciences, I suppose the fact that I always did well in those subjects. I believe I told Arthur that I was one of those annoying undergrads who thought Organic Chemistry was an easy course. I think it’s natural to enjoy things that come easily. The psychological term I believe is self-efficacy. I felt a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when I understood the course material and did well on assignments and exams. But then there was also my Uncle Gaius, who is a country doctor in Ealdor, my hometown. I was influenced by his dedication and skill. I used to talk to him a lot about his medical practice and his devotion to his patients. That really impressed me.”

“Are you by any chance referring to Gaius Ambrose?” Uther asked.

“Why, yes,” Merlin replied, surprised. “That’s my Uncle Gaius. You obviously know him or know of him?”

Uther laughed heartily. “Small world. My goodness! Gaius and I were at Cambridge together many many years ago. We were close friends back in the day. We lost touch with each other, as too often happens when people move to different locations or follow different paths. My word, Gaius Ambrose. Please give him my warmest regards the next time you see him.”

“I will indeed,” Merlin said, astonished by this development. “In fact, Arthur and I will be travelling to Ealdor tomorrow, and will be spending a few days with my mum and with Uncle Gaius. By the way, he’s not a blood relative—he and my mum have been such close friends for years, and so I’ve always known him as Uncle Gaius.”

At that moment George appeared and announced the arrival of Morgana and Leon. George stepped aside, and the couple entered the room. Uther, Arthur and Merlin stood up, and Uther walked over to the couple. He kissed Morgana on the cheek, and then extended his right hand to Leon, pulling him in for a manly one-armed embrace. Leon masked his surprise well, Merlin thought. Arthur and Merlin then greeted the couple, and hugs were exchanged. 

“So wonderful to have the whole family here for Christmas dinner,” Uther said. “I think we have a little more time to chat in the sitting room before dinner is ready. So, how have things been going for you two?”

“Quite well, dad,” Morgana replied. “Business has been excellent this year for both Leon and me. So, we’re happy to have a bit of a break from work now that it’s the Christmas season.”

“Tell me about your work, Leon,” Uther said. “I know that you do woodworking and carpentry, but that’s an occupation of which I’m unfortunately quite ignorant.” 

“Well, my main business is making custom furniture for clients who want pieces they wouldn’t be able to find in a furniture store. Sometimes my customers are looking for a very specific size, which is not typically manufactured. At other times they want a particular design that is hard to come by. A large part of the job is interviewing the customer to find out exactly what they are looking for. After that I design the piece and review my design with the client to ensure we’re on the same page. Once the customer and I have agreed on the design, I start working on the piece. I enjoy all aspects of the work, customer service, design, and manufacturing. I’m getting more commissions now that satisfied customers are telling their friends about my business and writing positive reviews on Yelp and other platforms. Morgana’s marketing campaign has helped to drum up some business for me as well.” 

“Oh! I didn’t realize that not only are you Morgana’s husband, but you are also a client of Pendragon and Associates,” Uther said with a friendly smile. 

“Yes, her most loyal client I might add,” Leon said. “Well, why wouldn’t I be when she does such excellent work? Merlin can attest to that. Right away he recognized the brilliance of the marketing materials Morgana developed for my business.”

“So Merlin reviewed the marketing campaign for Mountbatten, did he?” Uther said.

“Yes,” Morgana replied. “Artie and Merlin came over for dinner a few weeks ago and I showed Merlin some of the print and online materials we did for Leon. He made several kind and astute observations. He has a good eye.”

“I expect so.” Pointing at the painting above the fireplace, Uther said, “Merlin recognized the original Turner right away.”

Before Merlin could make a self-deprecating remark in response to Uther’s comment, George made another appearance and announced, “Dinner is served.” 

Everyone rose and followed George into the dining room. Merlin had never seen such an opulent dinner table. It appeared that no expense was spared on china, crystal and silver. Apparently George’s only duty was to escort the party into the dining room. Merlin noticed that two young women were standing at attention next to an elegant sideboard, and he assumed that they were there to serve the meal.

“Ah, Miss Lucas and Miss Price,” Uther said, “a very happy Christmas to you and yours.”

“Thank you, sir,” Miss Price responded. Miss Lucas smiled and said, “Happy Christmas to you and your guests, sir.”

“My son and daughter you know of course,” Uther said. Then inclining his head towards Leon, he added, “May I introduce my son-in-law, Mr. Mountbatten. Miss Lucas and Miss Price.” 

Leon bowed and said, “Pleased to make your acquaintance. Happy Christmas.” The young ladies bowed and wished Leon happy holidays.

Then smiling at Merlin, Uther said, “And this young man is Arthur’s partner, Mr. Emrys.” Merlin smiled warmly at the young women and said “Very happy to meet you. Happy holidays.” The young ladies smiled and bowed. Miss Lucas said, "Thank you, sir. Happy Christmas."

Place names indicated each person’s assigned seat. Uther sat at the head of the table. Morgana and Leon sat on the side of the table to Uther’s left; Arthur and Merlin on the side of the table to Uther’s right. Miss Price poured a glass of water and a goblet of wine for each diner. The first course was a smoked salmon salad, a wonderful light way to begin the meal. 

Arthur was the first to speak at the dinner table. Raising his wine glass, he said, “Before we begin the feast, let’s toast to Christmas, to love and peace, and to a joy-filled new year.”

“Hear, hear,” Uther said, as everyone raised a glass and took a sip of wine.

The next course was a delicious chestnut, bacon and parsnip soup, prepared to perfection. Merlin had never before had soup this wonderful.

As Arthur had predicted, goose was served as the main course—spiced roast goose to be precise. The blend of spices was very complex; Merlin could taste cinnamon, various peppers, cloves, brown sugar, and other spices he couldn’t quite recognize. The goose was complemented nicely by a delicious port wine gravy. Served along with the main course were several excellent vegetable dishes, including brussels with chestnuts and sage, crisp honey mustard parsnips, and potatoes roasted in goose trimmings.

The household staff kept the wine flowing, and before long high-spirited conversation filled the dining room. Uther told a funny story about being a terrible golfer. “All university chancellors are expected to play golf,” he said. “It’s almost like they consider one unqualified for the position if one doesn’t play golf. I always detested the sport, perhaps because my performance is frankly abominable. At the last chancellor conference before fall term began, my colleagues insisted that I play a round of golf with them. On every hole I must have been at least ten strokes over par. The other players teased me mercilessly and gave me the nickname ‘Overpar Uther.’ I’ll never live that down.”

“So pleased to know you’re bad at something, dad,” Arthur teased. 

“Never mention it again, Arthur,” Uther replied with a mock glare. 

Morgana then shared that her staff at Pendragon and Associates had played a practical joke on her. “During the summer we had a horrendous client named Nigel Hepburn,” she began. “He was the biggest pain in the arse. I never want to turn away business of course, but Nigel was so impossible that I finally told him I didn’t think we could help him and I wouldn’t bill him, as we hadn’t met his expectations. I was more than happy to cut our losses and be rid of him. Fast forward two months later, and I had just hired Gemma Warburton, a new marketing rep. About a week after Gemma started, she calls my office phone and says, ‘Hey, Morgana, I just spoke to a guy named Nigel Hepburn who said he’s worked with us before. He wants us to develop a new marketing plan for him.’ I swore up a storm, dropping F bombs and saying ‘shite’ repeatedly. Turns out my other staff had put Gemma up to it. Nigel had never called. My employees let me suffer for a while, before they poked their heads in my office and shouted, ‘Gotcha!’ Believe me I was tempted to fire them all on the spot.”

Everyone laughed heartily. “You deserved that, Morgana, after some of the pranks you pulled on me over the years,” Arthur said.

“Do tell,” Merlin urged.

“Well, there was the time she told me why I was named Arthur.”

Morgana placed both palms on her forehead. “Oh, no, not that story again,” she sighed.

Arthur said, “Yes, everyone needs to know just how cruel you were. So, when I was five years old and she was nine, Morgana told me that dad named me Arthur because I looked just like the cartoon aardvark, Arthur Timothy Read. She then showed me a picture of the aardvark. That was the day I found out that big sisters can be so very mean. She made me cry.”

“I will not feel guilty for something I did when I was nine,” Morgana retorted.

“Well, will you feel guilty about something you did when you were eighteen?” Arthur challenged. “Morgana told Layla, a horrid girl in my class, that I had a crush on her. I had absolutely no interest in that stuck up cow, but she believed Morgana. The rumor spread like wildfire, and pretty soon all my classmates were teasing me about fancying horrid Layla.”

Morgana stuck her tongue out at Arthur, which prompted Uther to say to Merlin and Leon, “Do you see the kind of regression that happens when these two get together?” The young men laughed. 

“I think now would be a good time to distract everyone away from my embarrassment with tea and dessert,” Morgana said. 

As if on Morgana’s command, Miss Lucas presented a beautifully crafted Christmas pudding. She and Miss Price then served the dessert to the assembled company, along with comforting cups of tea.


	18. Pendragon Christmas Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Christmas dinner at Uther's manse, the host and his guests exchange Christmas gifts. Uther's behavior surprises Merlin.

At the conclusion of the Christmas feast, the company retired to the sitting room. George had assembled the Christmas gifts under the tree.

“It’s time to exchange presents,” Morgana said. “I propose that Uther receive the first gift as the host of this special Christmas celebration.”

"I second the motion,” Arthur said. Arthur retrieved a small envelope from under the tree and handed it to Morgana. “Would you like to do the honors, Morgs?”

Morgana took the envelope and approached Uther. “Dad, this is from Arthur and me.”

Uther took the envelope, opened it and pulled out what appeared to be a formal invitation. He read it and his eyes filled with tears. With a lump in his throat, he said “This is the best gift ever. Thank you so much.”

“Mind if I read the invitation out loud, dad? Arthur and I are kind of proud of it,” Morgana said.

Uther nodded. Taking the invitation from his hand, she read it aloud:

_Ms. Morgana Pendragon Mountbatten and Mr. Arthur Pendragon request the pleasure of Dr. Uther Pendragon’s company on Saturday, February 18 and Sunday, February 19 for the following itinerary:_

_Saturday, February 18_

  * _10 a.m.Travel by rail from Camelot to London_
  * _1 p.m. Arrive in London and lunch at La Petite Maison_
  * _3 p.m. Check into suite of rooms at the Savoy Hotel_
  * _6 p.m. Dine at Trullo_
  * _7:30 p.m. London Philharmonic Orchestra concert at Royal Festival Hall (Javier Perianes performs Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto)_
  * _10:30 p.m. Drinks at the American Bar in the Savoy Hotel prior to retiring for the night_



_Sunday, February 19_

  * _8:30 a.m. Room service breakfast in the Savoy Hotel suite_
  * _10 a.m. Attend Sunday service at Westminster Abbey_
  * _11:30 a.m. Ride on the London Eye (Millenium Wheel)_
  * _1 p.m. Lunch at Mayfair_
  * _2:30 p.m. Check out of the Savoy Hotel_
  * _3:30 p.m. Travel by rail from London to Camelot_
  * _6:00 p.m. Dine at Excalibur_
  * _7:30 p.m. Escort Dr. Pendragon home to the Manse_



Uther said, “I am deeply moved that you two planned all this for me. Thank you, my brilliant children. I don’t deserve you.”

Morgana said, “Merlin deserves credit too. After all, it was his idea. Arthur and I ran with it and filled in the details after Merlin suggested it.”

Uther turned towards Merlin, acknowledging him with a smile and a nod, and said, “Bright lad. Thank you.”

Uther continued, “It’s my turn now.” Approaching the tree, he picked up a rectangular gift. “This is for someone to whom I need to make amends. Leon, I hope you will forgive me and that you will accept this small token of my affection.”

“Bygones,” Leon said softly with a smile. He unwrapped the gift and his eyes lit up. “These are essential for every woodworker. A set of Norton double-sided waterstones. The best quality.”

Seeing the question in Morgana’s eyes, he explained, “Carpenters use these to keep their chisels and other tools sharp. Unfortunately they don’t work as well on carpenters’ minds.”

Everyone laughed. Then turning towards Uther, Leon said, “Thank you, Uther. This is such a thoughtful gift.” Uther smiled.

“Our turn next,” Merlin said, making eye contact with Leon. He picked up a thin rectangular gift from under the tree and handed it to Uther. “Sir, this is from Leon and me. I believe that our gift to you has the same theme as Arthur’s and Morgana’s” he said. 

Uther unwrapped the gift and broke into a huge smile. “I remember this photo, but it never looked this good!” he exclaimed.

Merlin explained, "I had the photo restored and enlarged, and Leon made the beautiful wood frame and did the matting as well."

"The frame is just exquisite, Leon." Uther said. "Thank you so much."

He held up the gift for others to see. It was a wonderful picture of a younger Morgana and Arthur looking into the camera and smiling happily. Arthur looked to be about 15 years old, which meant that Morgana was 19 or 20 when the photo was taken. Arthur gasped, “How the hell…” he started.

“I borrowed the original photo from your photo album,” Merlin explained. “I brought it to the photography studio at school. When I told the photographer that it was a gift for Uther, he said he could restore it and enlarge it without compromising the clarity of the image. He was true to his word—he did beautiful work, no? Leon had already offered to create the frame and do the matting. Uther, we figured you could use a picture of your beautiful children on your desk.”

“Thank you, Merlin and Leon,” Uther said. “I will treasure it.” Arthur leaned over and kissed Merlin’s cheek. If Arthur felt any embarrassment about the public display of affection in front of his father, it wasn’t obvious. Morgana touched Leon's face gently.

Uther then approached Merlin and handed him a small wrapped gift. He said, “As we hadn’t met before today, I didn’t know what to give you for Christmas. Arthur offered several suggestions, and this is the one I chose.”

Merlin accepted the present and unwrapped it. He uttered a startled “Oh!” when he saw it was an Apple smart watch. He hadn’t expected any gift from Uther, let alone such an expensive one. “I’m speechless, Uther. I’ve always coveted Arthur’s Apple watch, and now I have one of my own. Thank you so much.”

“My pleasure, Merlin,” Uther said with a kind smile.

Leon then said, “Morgana hasn’t received a gift yet. I believe this is something she’s wanted for a long time.” He then handed her a manila envelope. Morgana looked at it curiously and said, “Usually I have an intuition about what you got for me, but I must admit I’m stumped. I have no idea what’s in this envelope.”

“Well, open it then and find out,” Leon advised.

Morgana pulled out several sheets of paper from the envelope. She paged through the documents quickly and exclaimed, “You sweet, sweet man!” She leaned towards Leon and kissed his lips.

“What is it, Morgana?” Arthur asked.

“My dear husband booked us a ski week at Zermatt-Matterhorn! And we’re staying at the Riffelalp Resort, which has the reputation of being one of the best, if not the best resort in Zermatt. I’ve heard that Riffelalp has the most amazing spa and incredible views of the Matterhorn. It’s going to be a week in heaven.”

“When will you be going?” Merlin asked.

"We fly out from Heathrow on January 9th and return on the 19th. I am so looking forward to a glorious ski holiday in the Alps.” She looked at Leon lovingly. “Thank you, cariad. You make all my dreams come true.”

Morgana continued, “My gift to you can’t compare with a ski week in Switzerland, but I do believe it is something you have wanted for a while.” She handed Leon a large box which appeared to have been professionally wrapped. Leon tore off the gift wrap, opened the box, and pulled out a spectacular RAF sheepskin bomber jacket.

“Oh, yes, this is exactly what I always wanted,” Leon exclaimed. “Can’t compare with a ski week? You must be joking. This is incredible!”

“Well, try it on,” Morgana said. “I have to see how it fits.” Leon obliged. It was a perfect fit and looked amazing on the handsome ginger.

“On second thought, you look too sexy in it, so I don’t think I want you to wear it,” Morgana teased. “Might give other girls the wrong idea.”

“Oh, just stop it,” Leon said, blushing bright red.

After the others had the chance to admire Leon’s bomber jacket, Arthur spoke up. “My turn to give Merlin his present from me.” He retrieved a fairly large gift from beneath the tree and held it out to Merlin with both hands. Merlin accepted the present and found it was lighter than he had expected, given its bulk.

When he opened it and saw what it was, his eyes widened and he said, “Oh, Arthur, is this what I think it is?”

Arthur nodded and said, “All 20 volumes of Ryuomo published to date. They’re all in Japanese, but Hiroshi said he’d be more than happy to summarize the stories for you.”

“So, what did Arthur get you? Tell us about it,” Morgana said.

Merlin held up one of the Manga volumes for all to see and said, “These are Japanese Manga stories that my father developed with the help of his Japanese colleagues. He created a fantasy action hero named Ryuomo, which means Dragon Lord. My parents separated before I was born, and I still haven’t ever met my dad. However, recently I found him through the Internet, and he is coming to Camelot on Twelfth Night for several days. I am so excited about finally meeting him.”

Touching Arthur’s cheek gently, Merlin said, “This sweet bloke just gave me all 20 volumes of the Ryuomo Manga series. Thank you, cariad.”

Merlin caught a glimpse of Uther regarding them both, but he couldn’t interpret the contemplative look on Uther’s face.

Then, looking at Arthur, Merlin said, “I was torn between getting you something practical and something sentimental, so I ended up getting you two gifts. Here’s the practical one.”

Arthur opened the gift bag and pulled out a stunning Maruse padfolio made of rich custom brown Italian leather. It was personalized, the name “Arthur Pendragon” in elegant lettering on the lower right corner of the padfolio cover.

“It is so lovely,” Arthur whispered. “Thank you.” He passed the gift around for others to admire.

“Here’s the sentimental gift,” Merlin said, passing another gift bag to Arthur.

Arthur pulled the present out of the bag and, examining it, he began to tear up. “Now you’ve made me cry in front of my family, you idiot,” he said.

He held the gift up for the others to see. It was a frame with a photograph in the center and words superimposed on and surrounding the picture. “This is a photo of the room on campus where Merlin and I first met,” Arthur explained, pointing to the image of the group counseling room at CAPS. “And the words are lyrics to the Christina Perri song, A Thousand Years.” He reached out and held Merlin’s hand. “It’s exquisite,” he said, a single tear falling down his cheek. Merlin simply nodded.

“Oh, I know it’s personal, but please may I take a look?” Morgana asked.

Arthur smiled shyly and passed the gift to Morgana. “I know this song,” she exclaimed, “from the Twilight Series, right?” She read aloud the lyrics to the chorus, “I have died every day waiting for you, darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more.” Smiling at Merlin, she teased, “Who would have pegged you for such a romantic, Merlin. I don’t know if my brother deserves you.”

“Yes, he deserves everything,” Merlin replied in a quiet voice. Arthur blushed.

The assembled company continued exchanging Christmas presents for another half hour. Merlin was struck by the fact that no two gifts were exchanged at the same time. It seemed important for everyone there to acknowledge the emotional significance of each gift, both for the giver and for the recipient. Merlin understood that all the gifts were expressions of love, but some gifts carried additional significance—perhaps a commitment to heal past hurts, to acknowledge new relationships, or to establish new ways of interacting with each other.

From Arthur and Merlin, Morgana and Leon each received a Moleskine smart pen and notebook set. “Oh, I read about these,” Morgana exclaimed. “Leon, this will help so much with our work. When you sketch a design for a client, it will automatically get converted to a digital file. Same when I take notes in a meeting or rough out a marketing idea. Very cool! Thanks, guys!”

“Yes, this is brilliant, thank you!” Leon agreed enthusiastically, as he eagerly delved into the product information.

Morgana grabbed two little packages from beneath the tree. Handing one to Arthur and the other to Merlin, she said, “These are from Leon and me. Good things come in small packages too.”

“Samsung wireless earbuds!” Merlin exclaimed. “These are supposed to be the best. Can you believe I’ve never owned a pair of wireless earbuds before? I’m still using the iPod I bought five years ago. Thank you!”

“These’ll be great for tuning out my classmates when they start bitching about the trials and tribulations of getting an MBA,” Arthur joked. “Thanks, guys.”

The last two gifts bestowed that evening were Uther’s gifts to his children. True to form, Uther saved the best (and the most dramatic) for last. He gave Morgana her gift first.

“Darling daughter,” he began, “I have been saving this for you for almost your entire life. It belonged to your mother, and I’m sure it would have given her great joy to see you wear it.”

Morgana gasped as she opened an oblong felt jewelry box and discovered the exquisite gold necklace inside. The delicate chain held a 24 karat gold locket. When Morgana unclasped the locket, she found a small baby photo of herself inside. Several tears streamed down Morgana’s face.

Uther said, “One day when you and Leon have a child of your own, you may want to replace your photo with that of your own son or daughter.”

“It’s overwhelming. Thank you, father,” Morgana said and kissed Uther gently on the cheek.

“And last but not least,” Uther said with a smile, “my brilliant son. I have also been waiting many years to give you this gift.” He held out a smaller jewelry box and extended it to Arthur. Opening the box, Arthur saw it contained a set of cufflinks and matching tie pin. The design was simple but elegant. A white cross on a black background adorned each piece in the set.

“Arthur, these items belonged to your maternal grandfather, Cador Tintagel,” Uther explained. “You may recognize the white cross on the black background as St. Piran’s flag, the official flag of Cornwall, where your grandfather lived all his life. Although I never had the set appraised, I think it may be quite valuable, as the white crosses are ivory and the black backgrounds are onyx. I think this set will look stunning when you are wearing a tuxedo, perhaps eventually at your wedding? I believe that would have made your mother burst with pride.”

“The set is wonderful, father. I will treasure it always,” Arthur said with emotion. He then embraced his father, holding him tightly for several minutes. Merlin and Leon then had an opportunity to admire the gifts their significant others had received from their father.

After a few moments, Uther said, “I believe that concludes the exchange of Christmas gifts. I promised Merlin that I would show him the Constable. Merlin, would you join me please?”

Merlin followed Uther, who led the way through the enormous central hallway into the study, a spacious room lined with bookshelves. Like the sitting room they had just left, the study also boasted a fireplace. However, the mantel was not stone but rather wood, beautifully and ornately carved. On the horizontal panel above the fireplace was an elaborate scene of knights on horseback. On each of the vertical panels flanking the fireplace was a ferocious-looking dragon. The pair of mythical creatures appeared to be standing guard over the fireplace.

Uther directed Merlin’s attention to the painting above the fireplace. “So that’s the Constable,” he whispered reverently. Merlin stood silent for a while, admiring the masterpiece. He found it hard to believe that he was looking at an original Constable not just in a private residence but in his boyfriend’s father’s home of all places.

“It’s breathtaking,” Merlin finally said. “Completely captures the beauty of the English countryside,” he added.

“Yes, indeed,” Uther remarked.

After they stood together for a while admiring the Constable, Uther said, “I can tell you make my son very happy. This pleases me.”

“Arthur has brought such joy to my life, sir,” Merlin replied. “I hope I make him as happy as he makes me.”

Uther nodded and said, “To be perfectly honest, I always imagined that Arthur would get married and produce a Pendragon heir.”

“Uh-oh,” Merlin thought, “Is this when he tells me I’m not the right person for Arthur, just a temporary aberration?”

But Uther’s subsequent words surprised him. “However, it appears that I am overruled. It’s evident that you are an intelligent, gifted, and ambitious young man of many parts, and I could not have asked for a more suitable companion for Arthur. I sincerely hope that your relationship endures. If Arthur has inherited some of my temperament, I expect that he is not the easiest person to get along with.” With a sly grin he added, “But I suspect that you are not the kind of man who fears a challenge.”

Merlin couldn’t find his voice for a few beats. Finally he said, “Neither am I an easy person to get along with. However, I do believe that both Arthur and I share some faults, including stubborn loyalty. I expect that will serve us well in the long term.” He paused briefly, then continued, “Sir, your acceptance of our relationship means more to me than I could ever express. And I also fervently hope that our relationship endures. The way I feel about Arthur now I cannot imagine it not enduring.”

“Call me Uther, Merlin. Only my employees and students who are not dating my son are required to call me ‘sir.’”

Merlin laughed easily and quipped, “One of the many perks of being in love with the Chancellor’s son, I expect.”

Uther grinned, “Yes, indeed. We’d best rejoin the others now. If I know my son, he's probably worried that I’m giving you a hard time.”

They returned to the sitting room in companionable silence. Arthur and Merlin exchanged subtle glances, communicating without words. Arthur’s slightly raised eyebrow inquired “Is everything alright?” Merlin’s hint of a smile offered the reassurance, “Yes, nothing to worry about.”

The Christmas celebration continued for another hour of conversation and laughter. Uther brought out several family photograph albums. Morgana and Arthur reminisced about growing up together, while Leon and Merlin enjoyed viewing the Pendragons’ childhood photos, hearing their humorous anecdotes, and making an occasional teasing remark.

Before long it was time for the guests to depart. Expressions of gratitude were exchanged, along with hugs, kisses, and handshakes. Ever the perfect valet, George retrieved everyone’s coats and placed each person’s Christmas gifts in a convenient tote bag.

“Thank you for your wonderful hospitality, Uther,” Merlin said as he and Arthur were about to depart. “This has been such a delightful evening—one I will never forget.”

“It was a pleasure making your acquaintance, Merlin,” Uther replied. “I hope to see you again soon.”

*****

“Spend the night together?” Arthur suggested as he and Merlin drove away from the manse.

“Yes, definitely,” Merlin replied. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours is closer,” Arthur said. “We can swing by my flat in the morning before we head off to Ealdor.”

“It’s getting to be a very busy Christmas week, isn’t it?” Merlin observed.

Arthur replied, “Yeah, good thing it only comes once a year. I know I couldn’t handle this much social activity on a regular basis. It’s exhausting.” After a moment of silence, he ventured, “So, what did you think of the Chancellor?”

“He was just wonderful, Arthur,” Merlin said with enthusiasm. “I never expected that he would be so warm and welcoming. And the Apple watch, oh my God, he buys an Apple watch for his son's boyfriend whom he’s never met before? That was astonishing.”

“Sounds like the two of you hit it off,” Arthur said, the pleasure on his face plain as print.

“It appears that way,” Merlin admitted. "Although I keep expecting him to treat me like the Michelle Yeoh character treated the Constance Wu character in 'Crazy Rich Asians'--you know, 'You will never be enough for my son!'" Arthur laughed.

Merlin continued, “You wanna know what he actually said to me when we went to look at the Constable?”

“What did he say?”

“That he couldn’t ask for a more suitable companion for you. I just about fainted. The way he led up to that remark, I was sure he was going to say that he didn’t approve of us.” 

“Will wonders never cease,” Arthur said with a chuckle.

Their lovemaking that night was romantic and tender. They took their time, giving each other sensual pleasure slowly and deliberately, after which they soon fell asleep in a close embrace. 


	19. The Drive to Ealdor on Boxing Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin drive from Camelot to Ealdor to spend a few days with Hunith and Gaius. While on the road, they enjoy listening to tunes and singing along.

Merlin woke up at 9 a.m. on Boxing Day. Arthur was already up and Merlin could hear faint sounds which he assumed were of Arthur bustling around in the kitchen. He headed for the bathroom, performed his morning ablutions, and then made his way to the dining area. 

Arthur was sitting at the table, warming himself with a cup of coffee and reading a newspaper. Merlin went over to him, greeted him with a kiss, and ruffled his hair. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Arthur said with a smile. “Go grab yourself a cup of coffee.” 

Merlin poured himself a cup and sat across the table from Arthur. It was a gorgeous morning. Bright sunshine poured in through the dining room windows. Merlin saw that the sky was bright blue and cloudless. It would be beautiful day to make the long drive to Ealdor.

“Did you find anything for breakfast, cariad?” Merlin asked.

“No, actually I just woke up about a half hour ago myself,” Arthur replied. “I figured I needed coffee before scrounging around for food.”

“There are bagels in the freezer, and cream cheese in the fridge,” Merlin said. “I can make you a bagel with a schmear if you’d like. There’s also some fresh fruit—apples and grapes if you want something healthier.” 

“It all sounds good,” Arthur said.

Merlin got up and entered the kitchen, where he washed the fruit and threw two frozen bagels to defrost in the microwave, then into the toaster. When the bagels were done, he set them on plates, which he carried to the dining area, along with a tub of cream cheese and a butter knife.

“Here you go, Arthur,” Merlin said, placing a bagel in front of him. “I’ll go get the fruit.” He then brought out the apples and grapes, setting them on the table. While wolfing down breakfast, Merlin asked, “Will this tide us over until lunch?”.

“Yeah, I think so,” Arthur replied. “After that huge feast last night, I’m not as hungry as I usually am after a good night’s sleep. But maybe we should pack some snacks for the trip. A lot of places will be closed on Boxing Day.”

“Good idea,” Merlin agreed. 

After they finished breakfast, Arthur took a shower while Merlin quickly made two BLT sandwiches, filled a couple of bottles with water, grabbed a tin of biscuits, and threw everything into a shopping bag. The lads got dressed, Merlin packed a travel bag, and they headed to Arthur’s flat. Arthur packed up his backpack, and before long they were on their way to Ealdor. 

The drive from Camelot to Ealdor was about six hours through the pastoral English countryside. Arthur and Merlin played their favorite songs on Arthur’s sound system, singing along occasionally. One of Merlin’s favorites was "Sugar" by Maroon 5. He sang at the top of his lungs, pretending to hold a microphone, and faced Arthur as if he were serenading him. Merlin sang along with Adam Levine: "I don’t wanna be needing your love, I just wanna be deep in your love, And it’s killing me when you’re away, Ooh, baby, ‘cause I really don’t care where you are, I just wanna be there where you are, And I gotta get one little taste …”

Arthur roared with laughter when Merlin, imitating Adam, broke into his falsetto on the chorus: “Your sugar, yes please, won’t you come and put it down on me, I’m right here, ‘cause I need, Little love, a little sympathy.”

After "Sugar" they talked about how much they both loved Sam Smith, but how the angst was often too hard to take. “Oh my god,” Arthur said, “it’s so heartbreaking when he sings, ‘Deep down I know this never works, but you can lay with me so it doesn’t hurt.’”

“And you called ME a girl,” Merlin teased.

“Hey, unfair!” Arthur protested, “I apologized for that, remember?”

“What about guilty pleasures,” Merlin asked, “you know songs that you are kind of embarrassed to like?”

“Well, this is a real oldie,” Arthur replied, “But I always liked Madonna’s "Dress You Up." You can’t ever tell Morgana though or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Why’s that?” Merlin asked.

“Well, I gotta confess,” Arthur said sheepishly, “I used to shame her mercilessly when she went through her Madonna phase. I started calling her Madonna Pendragon, which she hated. I would never admit that I actually liked several Madonna songs.”

“Oh, now we gotta play it and sing along,” Merlin insisted. “We’re making amends to Morgana and Madonna.” 

Pretty soon they were both singing the chorus at top volume, “Gonna dress you up in my love, all over all over, Gonna dress you up in my love, all over your body, Gonna dress you up in my love, in my love, all over your body from your head down to your toes.”

When the song was over, they looked at each other happily and laughed.

“Your turn, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Tell me one of your guilty pleasures.”

Merlin deliberated for a moment and then said, “You probably don’t know this song ‘cause it’s an American country song. It’s called "Hard to Love" and the singer’s name is Lee Brice.”

“You’re right, I don’t know it,” said Arthur. “Do you have it with you?”

“Yeah, on my phone—let me find it and connect it to your system,” Merlin said. “Now you can’t make fun of me, or I’ll tell Morgana that you love Dress You Up.”

“OK, I won’t make fun,” Arthur said with a grin. “How could I with that threat hanging over my head?”

Pretty soon Merlin had Lee Brice cued up on the sound system, and he started singing along, doing his best to imitate a country twang:

“I am insensitive, I have a tendency to pay more attention to the things that I need. Sometimes I drink too much, sometimes I test your trust, sometimes I don't know why you're staying with me. I'm hard to love, hard to love, oh I don't make it easy, I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. I'm hard to love, hard to love, you say that you need me, I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good."

Arthur burst out laughing when Merlin got to the lines, "You’re like a Sunday morning, full of grace and full of Jesus, I wish that I could be more like you."

“So tell me why you like that song,” Arthur said.

“Well, it really got to me here,” Merlin said, putting a fist to his chest. “How vulnerable and sweet this tough guy is. He admits that she’s out of his league, she’s so great and he’s a big loser. And he’s so grateful that she loves him in spite of his faults. It may be a bit sappy, but it’s so fucking romantic. I guess I’m a big sucker for these over-the-top confessions of true feelings. The angst and the vulnerability gets me all choked up inside. So I suppose you were right. I am more of a girl than you.”'

Arthur smiled affectionately at Merlin and said, “I love your tender feelings. More than anything that’s what drew me to you.”

Merlin leaned over and kissed Arthur’s cheek. But he couldn’t resist shattering the emotional moment and saying with an American country twang, “I don’t deserve it but I love that you love me good.”

“Idiot,” Arthur said with a chuckle.

At about 2 p.m. they pulled off the road for lunch, quickly wolfing down the BLT sandwiches and taking swigs of water. Pretty soon they were back on the road to Ealdor, listening to tunes and singing most of the way.

They arrived in Ealdor a little before 6 p.m. The sun had already set, so Arthur couldn’t see much of the town. Merlin directed him to Hunith’s house. They stopped in front of a country cottage. The interior lights were burning bright. From the outside it looked modest, but sufficiently spacious for a family of three or four. To Arthur it seemed absolutely charming--extremely comfortable and well-maintained. He thought that of course Merlin would have spent his childhood in a place like this. An expanse of lawn led up to the front door. The steep roof covered with dark brown shingles contrasted nicely with the sand-colored stone of the façade.

“It’s quite lovely,” Arthur said. 

“Yes, I enjoyed growing up here,” Merlin replied. "I miss it when I'm away for too long. Let’s go in and see my mum.”


	20. At Hunith's Cottage in Ealdor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin's spend their first evening at Hunith's cottage in Ealdor. Will stops by for a visit.

When Merlin and Arthur walked in the door, Hunith ran up to Merlin and gave him a big hug. Then she embraced Arthur warmly and said, “It’s so good to meet you, Arthur! Welcome to Ealdor and thank you for making the long drive from Camelot.”

Arthur assumed that Merlin took after his dad, as Hunith was quite diminutive, her hair was auburn colored, and her features were much rounder and softer than Merlin’s. But they had the same lovely eyes, bright blue with gold flecks, and the same enchanting smile. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Emrys,” Arthur said. “This is a charming house. A perfect country cottage.”

“Why, thank you, Arthur,” Hunith replied. “And please call me Hunith. I haven’t thought of myself as Mrs. Emrys in quite some time.”

She continued, “I’m sure you lads are tired after the long journey. And hungry too, I bet. I’ll give you a chance to get settled and unwind, and then we’ll dine around 7, OK? Oh, and I put you both in Merlin’s old bedroom. 

Pulling Merlin aside, she said, “Merlin, I put the cot in there for you. Give Arthur the comfortable bed.”

“Of course, mum,” Merlin said, rolling his eyes. No matter how old he got, Hunith would always remind him to treat others with politeness and courtesy. 

Merlin led the way to his old bedroom which hadn’t changed since he left Ealdor for Avalon U. “Mum said that I should take the cot and let you sleep in the comfortable bed,” Merlin said with a grin. “But I have a better idea. Let’s share the comfortable bed until it’s time to go to sleep, and then I’ll move to the cot. I don’t think either of us would get a good night sleep together on the twin bed.”

“You sure?” Arthur asked. “It’s your bed, I can take the cot.” 

“No way,” Merlin replied. “Mum would be furious with me.”

Arthur looked around at the décor. There were quite a few photographs of a younger Merlin with his mates. “Which one is Will?” Arthur asked. 

“Let’s see,” Merlin replied. “Oh, he’s the ginger. As usual dressed all in black, looking too cool—jacket, t-shirt, and skinny jeans.” 

“Cute guy,” Arthur observed. 

“Yeah, he is,” Merlin said nonchalantly. “The Asian bloke is Archie, we were good friends since primary school, but we haven’t talked much recently. I expect it was easier for him to stay friends with Will after we broke up because I had left for Camelot. The lovely girl is Francesca--she was like a sister to me all through high school. We were inseparable even after Will and I got together. Francesca and I lost touch after she left for uni in Brum. I should probably try to reconnect with her—it doesn’t feel right to be disconnected from people who were once so important to you.”

Turning away from the photo to look at Arthur, Merlin asked, “Who were your best mates, Arthur? Is there anyone I should meet?”

“Well, there were a couple of blokes on my footie team that I spent a lot of time with,” Arthur said. “Their names were Lance and Elyan. When I started the MBA program, I got so busy with schoolwork that I stopped hanging out with them. Now that I think about it, I would like to see them again. Other than those two guys, I can’t think of anyone I really miss. I dated a few people, including the guy Mordred I told you about, but I have no desire to reconnect with them.”

“Good,” said Merlin with a mischievous smile. “I don’t relish having any competition for your affections.”

“As if,” Arthur replied, grinning.

*****

A little after 7 p.m. Hunith let Merlin and Arthur know that dinner was ready. She had prepared a savory beef stew with carrots and mushrooms served over mashed potatoes and leeks. A delicious bottle of red wine, a blend of Merlot, Cabernet Franc, and Cabernet Sauvignon, provided the perfect accompaniment to the hearty stew. 

“This is absolutely delicious, Hunith,” Arthur said. 

Hunith smiled, “Thank you, Arthur. I’m glad you like it. It’s one of my old standby meals—I think of it as comfort food. We’ll have something else tomorrow evening, although I haven’t decided what yet. Merlin’s Uncle Gaius will be joining us, so I will make something he likes.”

“I completely forgot to tell you,” Merlin exclaimed. “Arthur’s father Uther was at Cambridge with Uncle Gaius. Uther said they were good mates but lost touch after uni. I’m sure Uncle Gaius will be astonished to find out that Arthur is the son of his old friend from Cambridge.”

“That is a remarkable and wonderful coincidence,” Hunith said with excitement. “Gaius will be delighted.”

Turning to Arthur, she said, “I understand that your father hosted a lovely Christmas dinner and gift exchange, Arthur.”

“Yes, indeed. I believe that everyone had a wonderful time. For me at least it was the happiest Christmas ever,” Arthur replied.

Hunith smiled warmly at him. ‘So, how long do you two plan to stay in Ealdor?” Hunith asked. “Of course you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”

“We plan to be here for three full days, not including today,” Merlin said. “So through December 29th, leaving on the morning of December 30th. We have plans with friends for New Year’s Eve and want a little bit of time to recuperate in Camelot before the festivities.”

“Oh, speaking of friends,” Hunith said, “I forgot to tell you earlier. Will stopped by yesterday to wish me a happy Christmas. That was sweet of him, don’t you think? He thought you might be here on Christmas Day, but I told him that you and Arthur were coming this evening. He said he might try to swing by to say hello.”

Wrestling with some confusing feelings about the information Hunith had just shared, all Merlin could manage to say in response was, “Oh, thanks for letting me know, mum.” 

Merlin continued to reflect on his mixed reactions to Hunith’s news about Will. Yes, it might have been sweet of him to stop by and wish Hunith a happy Christmas. After all, they had known each other for more than a decade now. Still, Merlin thought it was a bit odd that Will had visited Hunith knowing that Merlin would likely be there. 

Merlin was deeply in love with Arthur and had obviously gotten over Will. However, he and Will hadn’t yet transitioned from being ex-partners to being friends. Merlin also worried that a visit from Will might be difficult for Arthur. He wanted Arthur to have a wonderful time in Ealdor. That meant not experiencing anything that might cause him to feel uncomfortable, awkward or insecure. Thinking it through, Merlin realized he needed to talk to Arthur about this as soon as possible. After all, they had made a commitment to communicate with each other as honestly and as directly as they knew how. After making this decision Merlin was able to focus again on his immediate surroundings.

For dessert Hunith served a homemade Dorset apple cake, along with a pot of tea. “This cake is one of Merlin’s favorites,” she said. “I hope you enjoy it too, Arthur.”

Arthur took a bite and said, “Perfection. I completely understand why it’s one of Merlin’s favorites.”

They finished their slices of cake and enjoyed a few cups of tea, after which Merlin said, “Mum, thanks so much for the excellent meal. I’d like to show Arthur some of my memorabilia upstairs, but we’ll be back down shortly to help clean up and to continue our visit.”

“That’s fine, dear,” Hunith replied with a smile, “no need to hurry on my account.”

Back in Merlin’s old bedroom, the lads made themselves as comfortable as possible on the small bed. 

“I don’t really have memorabilia to show you,” Merlin began. “I wanted to talk to you about what mum said about Will possibly coming over.”

“OK,” Arthur replied, “so what’s on your mind?”

Merlin then expressed his concerns about how a visit from Will might be difficult for Arthur. “I want you to enjoy your time here, and not to feel uncomfortable in any way,” he said.

“You are so considerate, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Not to worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’m not threatened by Will. I know that what we have is real and true, and I trust you completely.”

Merlin kissed Arthur passionately on the lips. “Just promise me,” he said, “to ask me right away if there’s anything you want or need from me, OK? Don’t keep anything from me.”

“Promise,” Arthur said fervently.

After relaxing in the small bed for a half hour or so, they headed back downstairs. They cleaned up the remains of the supper, after which they sat in the cozy parlor warming themselves by the fire and chatting with Hunith. 

When Hunith asked Arthur about his family, he told her all about his relationships with Uther and Morgana and explained how things had improved recently. He also talked about how his mum had died in childbirth and how much it hurt that he never knew her. Arthur found that Hunith was a kind and empathic listener. It was easy and comforting to confide in her.

Hunith also asked Arthur about his studies. He described the MBA programme at Camelot and his internship experiences to date. Arthur spoke enthusiastically about his interest in medical technology and the kind of work he hoped to be doing in the future.

Arthur asked Hunith about her friendship with Gaius. Hunith explained that she and Gaius had both become governors of the Ealdor Village School when Merlin was a toddler. “We took an instant liking to each other," Hunith said, "especially because we were on the same side on many issues. We and a few other governors were the progressive voices, often arguing against the other governors who resisted change. Governors who I think would have preferred British society to revert back to the Victorian age," Hunith said with a laugh. "Gaius and I found ourselves agreeing with and supporting each other’s positions in debates on school policies and procedures, on curriculum, on so many other issues.”

“So you became fast friends,” Arthur said.

“Yes, indeed,” Hunith replied, “and the friendship has endured for almost two decades now. And not having children of his own, Gaius took a real shine to Merlin.” She looked fondly at her son. “Merlin’s always been like a son to Gaius.”

Merlin chimed in, “Tell Arthur about how Uncle Gaius helped with your career, mum.”

“Ah, yes,” Hunith said. “As a physician Gaius had many healthcare contacts in the community. One of them was Diana Blackwood, CEO of the Essetir Women’s Refuge. Diana had been looking for a reliable receptionist for the refuge. Knowing that I was passionate about women’s issues, Gaius recommended me for the job. So I started there as a receptionist and then eventually became a women’s advocate and resource coordinator. Although the work can be very difficult—you hear so many heartbreaking stories—there is nothing so rewarding as helping someone out of a horrific situation.”

“Sounds like you found your true calling,” Arthur observed.

At that moment someone knocked loudly on the cottage front door. Hunith went to answer it and said to the visitor, “Ah, Will, welcome! Merlin and Arthur are here and we’ve just been visiting by the fire. Please come in and make yourself comfortable.” 

Will entered the parlor, looking slightly uncomfortable, and said, “I don’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to stop by to say hello.”

In spite of feeling rather awkward, Merlin managed to say, “Not at all, Will. Mum said you came by yesterday to wish her a happy Christmas. I trust that you and your family are well?” 

“Yes, thank you,” Will replied. “We had a very nice Christmas celebration yesterday.”

Merlin nodded and said, “Will, I’d like you to meet my partner, Arthur Pendragon. Arthur, this is Will Fisher. Will and I grew up together here in Ealdor.” He shot Arthur a surreptitious look of apology. Arthur smiled back reassuringly.

Arthur stood up and extended his hand to Will. “Pleased to meet you, Will,” he said politely.

“Uh, yes, pleasure,” responded Will, who appeared somewhat taken aback.

“Would you like some tea, dear?” Hunith inquired. 

“That would be lovely, Hunith,” Will replied.

Hunith made her way to the kitchen to prepare the tea. Arthur, suspecting that Merlin and Will needed some time alone to chat, said, “I’ll go see if Hunith needs any help,” and left the parlor.

A few moments of awkward silence followed. Merlin finally broke the silence with the question, “How have you been, Will? It’s been a while since we last spoke.”

Will looked at Merlin and said, “Well, that didn’t take you long, did it?”

“Sorry?” Merlin said, confused.

“Getting over me and finding a new boyfriend,” Will said.

“Oh!” Merlin exclaimed in shock. “It wasn’t like that, Will,” he said. “Not that I have to explain anything to you,” he added with a touch of anger.

“So, how was it then?” Will challenged.

“If you must know,” Merlin said with a sigh, “it came on gradually. You broke up with me in August, if you recall. I met Arthur soon after that, in September, but we were only casual acquaintances for a while. We didn’t officially start dating until a few weeks ago. That’s more than three months since we broke up.”

“And already you’re introducing him as your partner,” Will said with an accusing tone.

“I must admit to being a bit irritated,” Merlin said with an edge in his voice. “I feel like you’re interrogating me when you no longer have any claims on me. And I don’t understand why it should matter to you that I refer to Arthur as my partner. That's certainly mine and Arthur's business alone."

“No, it’s obvious that I don’t have any claim on you,” Will said with some bitterness. “I suppose it was a shock to see that you’re already with another bloke.”

“I didn’t go looking to replace you, Will, if that’s what you think,” Merlin said gently. “I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with Arthur, but that’s what happened. And I do hope that you can be happy for me, rather than to feel jealous or hurt, or whatever this is."

“So, you’re in love then?” Will asked.

“Very much,” Merlin replied honestly, “very much indeed.”

Will looked a bit crestfallen.

At that moment Hunith and Arthur returned to the parlor with tea and biscuits. Will did his best to act as if he were just making a social call during the holiday season. The conversation seemed easy, but Merlin could tell from their many years together that acting friendly towards Arthur was quite difficult for Will. Merlin was relieved that Will was at least making an effort to be civil.

As he prepared to depart, Will kissed Hunith on the cheek, shook Arthur’s hand, and patted Merlin on the arm. He wished Arthur an enjoyable time in Ealdor and walked out into the cold winter night.


	21. Quality Time in Ealdor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin shows Arthur around his hometown, after which they enjoy the afternoon and evening with Hunith and Gaius.

Arthur and Merlin woke up around 8:30 a.m. the next morning. They had slept well, which was a surprise to both of them for different reasons. Arthur had not expected to sleep well in unfamiliar surroundings, and Merlin had not expected to sleep well on the less than comfortable cot. But sleep well they did, and they greeted the day well-rested and eager to explore the village. 

After a comforting breakfast of crumpets, butter, jam and marmalade and pots full of tea, Merlin took Arthur on a grand tour of Ealdor. 

“This is really a charming village,” Arthur observed, “and it suits you. I can picture you growing up here. Being here with you, I wonder what it would have been like to have met when we were both kids. Would we have gotten along? Would we have been friends?”

“I’d like to think we would have been best mates,” Merlin replied. “But who can say? Whatever the case may be, I’m convinced that we were destined to meet and be together. And the way it unfolded was perfect, exactly what was supposed to happen. We have a beautiful love story to tell our children someday.” 

“Do you want children, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“At some point, yes,” Merlin replied. “Perhaps five years or so down the road. I need to finish the med programme and land a lucrative job first. What about you?”

“I always expected to be a dad someday,” Arthur admitted. “But other than that I never gave it much thought. I too have to get my MBA and find gainful employment before I can think about parenting.”

“Well, we have time to figure it out,” Merlin said. Smiling, he added, “We’ll be awesome parents. And just imagine Uther as the doting grandfather and Hunith as the doting grandmother. Our kids will be spoiled beyond belief.” Arthur laughed.

Merlin showed Arthur the schools he attended, the local Anglican church where he and Hunith worshipped on Sundays, and the Ealdor High Street lined with charming shops. As it was a relatively warm day for late December, the young men took a walk through the nearby forest. This brought back a lot of memories for Merlin, who confessed to Arthur that during his teen years he and his mates would come to the forest to escape the watchful eyes of parents and teachers and drink alcohol and smoke weed.

“Someone would bring a bottle, usually stolen from their parents’ stash, and weed was always available from a classmate who was a dealer.” Merlin explained. “I guess in a remote village like Ealdor, there weren’t a lot of recreational choices. Luckily I never indulged to the point where it became a serious problem, like substance dependence or addiction. I think I was too driven to succeed in school. I’ve known since I was 16 or 17 that I wanted to be a doctor. No way was I going to become an alcoholic or drug addict.”

Arthur nodded. “I think sports kept me from taking a wrong turn,” he said. “I was always such a competitive athlete. I avoided anything that might negatively affect my performance. Maybe trying to make Uther proud had some benefits after all.” 

After a moment of silence, Arthur observed, “It is so beautiful and peaceful here. Thank you for showing me where you grew up and telling me about your childhood.” They stood among the barren trees and kissed.

Eventually they walked back to the High Street and decided to have lunch in a bright little café called Graze. They ordered vegetarian flatbreads, salads, and coffee. The service was good and the food delicious. As Arthur and Merlin were enjoying their lunch, a young Asian man approached their table. “Merlin?” he said tentatively.

Merlin looked up and exclaimed, “Archie! Oh my god, it’s been ages.” Merlin stood up and embraced his childhood friend. “Archie, this is my partner, Arthur Pendragon. Arthur, please meet my old friend, Archie Shen.” Arthur stood then and shook Archie’s hand. 

Merlin continued, “Archie, this is so serendipitous. Yesterday I was showing Arthur a photograph of our gang in secondary school. I pointed you out to him, and now we meet in Graze of all places! Can you join us, or did you come with someone?”

“Uh, I would love to join you and catch up, but actually I’m supposed to meet Will here for lunch.”

Merlin did his best to respond with equanimity. “No worries, mate. Another time then. Will stopped by my mum’s house last night, so we were able to catch up a bit. By the way, have you heard from Francesca? I lost touch with her through the years, and would really like to reconnect with her.”

“Yeah,” Archie replied, “Frannie and I talk once in a while. She’s doing well at University of Birmingham. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you."

Merlin pulled out his phone. “Give me your number, Archie. I’ll text you with my email address, so we can keep in contact and you can send me Francesca’s info, OK?” 

Archie smiled and nodded. He gave his number to Merlin, who put it into his phone.

“Well, I better go get a table and wait for Will,” Archie said. “It was great seeing you, Merlin, and nice to meet you Arthur.” 

“Great seeing you too, Archie,” Merlin said. “A pleasure to meet you,” Arthur said with a smile.

A few minutes later, Will strolled in. He looked a bit startled when he saw Merlin and Arthur but relaxed visibly when he saw Archie at a table a fair distance away from where the couple sat. Will nodded stiffly at Arthur and Merlin as he passed by their table on his way toward Archie. Merlin acted as though nothing were amiss and continued to tell Arthur about some of his childhood experiences with Archie. 

“We were both huge Harry Potter nerds,” Merlin said. “We would argue about which house we would be sorted in at Hogwarts. I always insisted that Archie and I would both be in Ravenclaw, but he said that in spite of my intelligence I was a ‘big softy’ and so I would end up in Hufflepuff. I never forgave him for that.”

Arthur laughed. Merlin said, “Now you would definitely be a Gryffindor, Arthur. Were you into Harry Potter?”

Arthur nodded, “Yes, I went through that phase. In some ways I could relate to Harry’s isolation, never having known my mum and being estranged from my dad. In some ways I thought my life was as difficult as Harry’s even though I lived in relative luxury, not in a cupboard beneath the stairs.”

“Oh, I never thought about that, Cariad,” Merlin said gently. "Of course you longed for a loving family, just like Harry did. Wouldn't it be cool to have a Mirror of Erised so that we could actually see the deepest desires of our hearts?"

Arthur reached across the table and touched Merlin’s hand. “I don't need the Mirror of Erised as I'm looking right at him," Arthur said. "I’m happier now than I have ever been."

"Me too, Cariad," Merlin replied with a lump in his throat.

After lunch they headed back to Hunith’s cottage, where they enjoyed a few relaxing hours, reading, listening to music, and playing card games. Gaius arrived at about 4 p.m.

“Merlin, my boy,” Gaius cried as soon as he entered the cottage. He grabbed Merlin in a tight embrace. “It is so good to see you. It’s been way too long. You haven’t forgotten your Uncle Gaius, have you?”

“How could I possibly forget you?” Merlin replied. “You are the most unforgettable person I know.”

“I have a big surprise for you, Uncle Gaius,” Merlin said, beckoning to Arthur, who rose and made his way over to Merlin's side. “Uncle Gaius, I would like you to meet my partner, Arthur. I should clarify that the surprise is not that Arthur is my partner, but that he is the son of your old Cambridge mate, Uther Pendragon. Arthur Pendragon, please meet my dear Uncle Gaius Ambrose.”

The look on Gaius’s face was priceless. He stared at Arthur, mouth open, speechless for a few moments. Finally he exclaimed, “My word, Uther’s son, Merlin’s partner. Dear boy!” And he pulled Arthur in for a long, close hug. 

Merlin grinned from ear to ear, completely delighted by the warm reception Gaius gave to Arthur. “Uncle Gaius,” he said, “I can’t wait to talk to you about the Camelot med programme, but first why don’t you and Arthur get acquainted? I know you also want to hear all the news about Uther.”

“Yes, indeed. I’m sure young Arthur and I will not lack for topics of conversation,” Gaius replied.

Turning towards Hunith, Merlin said, “Mum, shall we leave these two to their own devices and start working on supper?” 

“Brilliant idea,” Hunith replied with a smile.

In the kitchen Merlin asked, “What shall I work on, mum?”

“So this is what we’re having for supper tonight,” Hunith said. “Pork chops with apple, cherry and walnut stuffing, scalloped potatoes, and sauteed kale with lemon and garlic. All Gaius’s favorites. For dessert we’re having cranberry walnut pie, another Gaius favorite.”

She continued, “So, the first tasks are to make the stuffing for the pork chops, prepare the potato casserole, and assemble the pie. The kale will be fast, so we can do that last. Anything you want to start with?”

“Well, I suppose I can work on the stuffing and the potatoes,” Merlin replied. “Pie isn’t my forte, so I suppose I should leave that up to you.”

Hunith handed the recipes to Merlin. He read through them while Hunith gathered the necessary ingredients. “So, I sensed some awkwardness between you and Will last night,” Hunith ventured. “Is everything OK?”

Merlin sighed. “Can’t hide anything from you, can I mum? Nothing time won’t fix, I hope. Will was acting all weird about Arthur. When I think about his words and actions to me last night, the only word I can come up with is snarky. I don’t understand it. He broke up with me months ago. And last night he was acting, I don’t know, jealous? Possessive? Hurt?”

Hunith nodded. “I noticed the tension between you two, and I’m sure Arthur did too. It was considerate of Arthur to give you and Will a chance to talk in private.”

“Yes, Arthur’s a gem,” Merlin observed. “He and I talked after you told me that Will had stopped by on Christmas and might stop by again on Boxing Day. I didn’t want Arthur to feel any discomfort about a visit from Will.” Hunith nodded. 

Merlin continued, “I just don’t get it, mum. Will ended our relationship, which was painful for me. And now he’s acting all snarky about me being with Arthur. That made me pretty angry.”

“I understand, Merlin,” Hunith said. “Of course that would be confusing. Did you consider the possibility that, even though he initiated the breakup, Will misses you? The two of you were boyfriends for a long time. And when he saw you with Arthur he realized there was no hope of reconciliation? That might explain why he was being, as you say, snarky.”

Merlin gave this some thought. “That makes some sense, mum,” he acknowledged. “And it helps to consider what Will might be going through. I won’t put up with him guilt-tripping me about Arthur, but I can try to be kinder and more forgiving towards him.”

Hunith smiled at Merlin lovingly. “That’s my boy,” she said softly.

They worked silently for a while. Eventually Merlin said, “There’s something else I want to talk about, mum. Balinor’s coming to Camelot on Twelfth Night for a few days. Do you think you’d ever be interested in seeing him again?”

Hunith reflected for a while before responding. “I really have to give this some more thought. To be honest, I’m having ambivalent feelings. Part of me is curious and interested, wanting to know more about his life, what he’s been up to all these years, whether he’s essentially the same man I knew in the 1990s, or if he’s changed so much as to be unrecognizable. Another part of me thinks there is no going back, why bother reconnecting with someone who hasn’t been in my life for more than 20 years? At this point I don’t know which side of me will win the debate.”

“That’s fair, mum,” Merlin observed. “I can’t and don’t want to speak for Balinor. What I can say, however, is that he expressed regret for hurting you deeply and causing the end of your marriage. If I recall correctly, he wrote that he didn’t try to save the marriage because he felt he didn’t deserve to be with you after what he did.”

Merlin couldn’t interpret Hunith’s expression to what he had just shared. She said, “I need to think about this some more, Merlin. I do know that I’m not ready to see Balinor in person. However, if he wants to email me, that would be OK. When you see him on Twelfth Night, feel free to give him my email address. If he does email me, I will read the message, although I can’t promise that I will respond.” 

After completing initial preparation of the upcoming meal, Merlin and Hunith returned to the parlor, joining Arthur and Gaius who were engaged in animated conversation. “Looks like you two are enjoying each other’s company,” Hunith observed.

“Indeed we are,” Gaius replied, smiling at Arthur. “We took a selfie and sent it to Arthur’s dad, who has already responded. It’s such a delight to reconnect with Uther after so many years! I’ve been regaling Arthur with scandalous stories about his father’s youthful indiscretions. I hope Uther will not hold that against me.” 

Arthur chimed in, “And I’ve been filling Gaius in on how Merlin and I met and how our relationship developed.” 

Gaius said in a teasing tone, “I understand that it wasn’t exactly love at first sight, and that a Camelot administrator actually compared you two to Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy.” 

Merlin responded, “Uncle Gaius, I think that everyone would do well to heed these words of Elizabeth Bennet: Perhaps I did not always love him so well as I do now. But in such cases as these, a good memory is unpardonable. This is the last time I shall ever remember it myself.” 

Gaius and Hunith laughed heartily. Arthur shot Merlin an astonished glance and said jokingly, “I had no idea that my partner is a Jane Austen scholar. I suppose now I will be expected to memorize lines from Pride and Prejudice.” This drew more chuckles from Gaius, Hunith and Merlin.

At about 6 p.m. Hunith and Merlin set the dining room table and finished preparing the evening meal. Before long Gaius and Arthur entered the dining room and sat across from each other at the table. As Hunith and Merlin presented the dinner courses, Hunith said, “Gaius, I made this meal especially for you. I believe these are some of your favorites. If not, pretend that they are.” 

“You take such good care of me, Hunith dear,” Gaius replied. “Spending an evening with you and these lovely lads and getting to enjoy my favorite foods. You spoil me.”

Hunith served the pork chops with apple, cherry and walnut stuffing, while Merlin served the side dishes—the scalloped potatoes and the sauteed kale with lemon and garlic. Arthur and Gaius complimented Hunith on the meal. 

“I cannot in good conscience accept all the credit,” Hunith replied, “as Merlin did quite a bit of the work. He really does know his way around a kitchen.”

“I can attest to that,” Arthur said. “Just three days ago we made an elaborate Christmas Eve dinner for our friends Gwaine and Percy. I would never have attempted it without Merlin’s direction. He also makes an amazing vegetarian chili.”

“I’m pleased to know that you are both dining so well in Camelot and not living on fast food,” Hunith said with a smile.

Lively conversation continued through dinner. Merlin told Gaius all about the medical programme at Camelot, his observations of the curriculum and faculty, and how he had performed academically during his first semester. Gaius encouraged Merlin to contact him any time he needed support or guidance. He extended the same invitation to Arthur after learning about his interest in medical technology. 

Gaius said, “Although I am a country doctor in this fairly rural community, I do keep abreast of new developments in medicine and I have contacts in med tech companies both here and abroad. So call me any time you’d like to consult about the latest buzz.” Arthur expressed heartfelt appreciation for Gaius’s kind offer.

Hunith and Gaius shared stories of the time they spent together as governors of the Ealdor Village School. “We fought a long, hard battle about sex education,” Hunith said. “Naturally some governors who were absolute dinosaurs argued that sex education was not within the school’s purview. As if those sex-phobic tossers could ever bring themselves to teach their own children about sex.”

“Oh, you should have heard your mum back then, Merlin,” Gaius said with a grin. “She pulled no punches, telling those dinosaurs what she thought of them.”

“What galls me now,” Hunith said with heat, “is how decades later people still have a problem with sex education. These people carrying their absurd signs like ‘Let kids be kids.’ Yes, by all means, let kids practice unsafe sex and contract all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases. And don’t get me started on the homophobic lot who have no compassion for the plight of LGBTQ kids.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, mum,” Merlin said in a teasing tone. Turning to Arthur he added, “I bet you couldn’t tell that mum’s passionate about social justice.”

“No inkling,” came Arthur's joking reply.

The family retired to the parlor for dessert and tea. The cranberry walnut pie was baked to perfection. “If I keep eating like this, I’ll gain five kilos before the start of next semester,” Arthur quipped.

Hunith laughed and said, “My rule is to never worry about weight before New Year’s Day and then make all sorts of New Year’s resolutions, including exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy diet. Not that one ever sticks to those resolutions, but at least then one might indulge without guilt during the holidays.”

Following dessert and tea, the time had come to exchange Christmas gifts. Merlin and Arthur gave Hunith a lovely Tory Burch leather satchel in a beautiful and striking shade of emerald green, which complemented Hunith’s coloring to a tee. They gave Gaius a Travelpro rolling suitcase, which would be perfect for his frequent journeys to medical conferences on the continent. 

Gaius gave Merlin a classic M3 Laennec lab coat--the cut resembled that of an elegant blazer, and it was a perfect fit. Gaius gave Arthur a Sonos One smart speaker. He said with a glint in his eye, “Merlin suggested that an upgrade in technology might be welcome.”

Arthur thanked Gaius and laughed. He said, “I think Merlin’s motivation was not having to get up to change CDs when he’s relaxing on the sofa.” 

"Prat," Merlin responded.

Hunith gave Arthur a scarf she had crocheted for him after learning how serious Arthur's and Merlin's relationship had become. Hunith had chosen two vibrant shades of yarn—the Camelot school colors of crimson and gold. The scarf was just shy of two meters long. 

“This is so beautiful, Hunith,” Arthur exclaimed. “And so special because you made it for me. Thank you.” Hunith smiled at him with affection.

She then turned to Merlin and, handing him a large gift bag, said, “Cariad, I’ve been saving this for decades and knew the right time would come to give it to you.” 

Merlin retrieved the item in the gift bag and began to tear up. It was beautiful carved dragon, about 15 centimeters tall and 30 centimeters wide, a much larger version of the dragon pendant Merlin wore around his neck. 

“Balinor’s work, I assume,” Merlin said softly. “Yes, indeed,” Hunith whispered. 

Merlin leaned over and kissed her cheek. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, mum.” He was touched that Hunith had kept the exquisite dragon for him all this time despite her complicated feelings towards the man who had created it.

The family spent the remainder of the evening conversing and laughing by the fire. Before long it was time to retire. Plans were made for the remaining two days of the young men’s visit. After Gaius headed out to his car, Hunith and the lads said goodnight and headed upstairs for the night.


	22. Social Visits to Ealdor Neighbors and Scrabble Night at Gaius's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur bring holiday biscuits to neighbors in Ealdor. Gaius hosts Scrabble night at his cottage. The family enjoys take-away fish and chips.

During their next two days in Ealdor, Merlin and Arthur enjoyed a comfortable balance between time spent socializing with others and time to themselves. Ealdor was a small tight-knit community. Denizens of Ealdor who did not know Hunith and Merlin personally certainly knew of them. As Merlin had always been a kind-hearted and friendly lad, he had become rather fond of several neighbors, and the feeling was mutual. Merlin knew that some of his neighbors would feel hurt if he did not at least stop by to say hello while he was in town. So he and Hunith strategized how he might go about making social visits without wearing himself out. 

They decided to make several batches of holiday biscuits. Merlin and Arthur would deliver the biscuits to twelve neighbors with whom Hunith and Merlin had the closest ties. The twelve neighbors were ones whom Merlin had grown up calling “Aunt” and “Uncle.” Other neighbors would receive personal notes from Merlin wishing them a happy new year and conveying his hopes of seeing them during the spring or summer. In that way Merlin could fulfill his social obligations as an Ealdor son in about half a day. 

Once the biscuits had been sorted into attractive tins, Merlin and Arthur set out on their delivery route. Although it was a rather brisk day, the weather was sufficiently comfortable for the young men to walk from house to house through the village. Of course they were invited in at each stop. Merlin would greet each neighbor with a warm hug and a holiday greeting, after which he would introduce Arthur as his partner. They were usually able to limit each visit to no more than fifteen minutes, declining the customary offer of tea, with the excuse that they had several additional stops to make. 

After delivering eleven tins of biscuits, Merlin looked at Arthur and said, “The last tin is for the Fishers, Will’s family. I think it best that I go there alone. Are you OK with that?”'

“Of course, Cariad,” Arthur said gently. “I also think that would be best.” 

“Would you like me to walk back with you to mum’s first?”

“No need,” Arthur said with an easy laugh. “This is a tiny village. I think I can find my way back.”

“OK. I’ll see you in about a half hour.”

Merlin then steeled himself as he made his way to the Fishers’ cottage. It would be his luck that Will answered the door. He looked at Merlin quizzically for a few seconds before saying, “Hello?” with a questioning tone. 

“Hello, Will,” Merlin said. “I’ve just come with some holiday biscuits for you and your family.” He slightly raised the tin he was carrying as if it were evidence to back up his words. “I wanted to say hello to your mum and dad before heading back to Camelot.” 

“Oh,” said Will, still looking a bit flustered. “Do come in. I will tell mum and dad you’re here.”

Merlin entered the Fishers’ parlor and stood there waiting until Will’s parents came in. 

He smiled at Will's parents and said, “Happy holidays, Mr. and Mrs. Fisher.” Extending the tin to Mrs. Fisher, he said, “I brought some holiday biscuits that mum and I made.”

“How very kind,” Mrs. Fisher said as she gave Merlin a warm hug. Mr. Fisher shook his hand and said, “Good to see you, lad.” Will stood in the background, silent.

“I can’t stay long as I have evening plans with mum and Uncle Gaius,” Merlin said. “I just wanted to stop by and say hello before I head back to Camelot.”

“Oh, are you going back so soon, dear?” Mrs. Fisher asked. “I understood that you just arrived on Boxing Day.”

“Yes, we’re here just one more day and will be leaving in the morning the day after tomorrow,” Merlin replied.

“So you and a friend made the long drive from Camelot to visit Hunith and Gaius, I understand,” Mrs. Fisher said.

“Yes, ma’am,” Merlin said politely. He didn’t know how much Mrs. Fisher knew about his and Will’s breakup. “It is a long drive, about six hours, but at least the English countryside is beautiful, even in winter.” 

“So how are you enjoying Camelot, Merlin?” Mr. Fisher asked.

“It was a bit of a difficult adjustment at first,” Merlin said, “new school, new town, not knowing anyone. But I finally found my footing midway through the semester. I started to enjoy the academic programme and to feel more at home in Camelot.”

“That’s wonderful, dear,” Mrs. Fisher said kindly. “And before you know it you’ll be a doctor like your Uncle Gaius.”

“Well, that’s the plan, Mrs. Fisher, but it will take me quite a while to get there.”

“We have faith in you, Merlin,” Mr. Fisher said. “Ever since you were a wee lad you always accomplished whatever you set out to do. I remember saying to the missus, ‘That boy will go far, he will.’”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence, Mr. Fisher,” Merlin said with a smile. 

The small talk continued for several more minutes and then Merlin said, “It’s been a lovely visit and I wish I could stay longer, but mum and Uncle Gaius will be wondering where I’ve gone off to. It was wonderful to see you, and please accept my wishes for a very happy new year.”

“Happy new year to you too, Merlin,” Mrs. Fisher replied, “and many thanks to you and Hunith for the biscuits.”

Will, who had remained silent throughout Merlin’s conversation with his parents, walked him to the door. As Merlin was about to depart, Will said, “Merlin, this has been difficult for me.”

“So I gathered,” Merlin replied, not unkindly.

“I know I don’t get to be hurt or jealous, since I broke up with you,” Will admitted.

“It’s OK, Will, you don’t have to explain,” Merlin said.

“I don’t like behaving like this, but it’s hard not to,” Will confessed.

“I get it,” Merlin nodded. He added, “We were together for a long time. It’s a big adjustment. We can’t transition from being in a six-year relationship to being friends overnight.”

“So maybe eventually, huh?” Will ventured.

“Yes, let’s give it some time, Will,” Merlin suggested. “We were mates before we became boyfriends. Maybe at some point we can be friends again. Given what we have been through together, I can’t imagine not being fond of you.”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Will said with a bittersweet smile. “Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year, Will.” 

The short conversation with Will had taken its toll on Merlin. He found himself tearing up as he walked back to Hunith’s house. Essentially he and Will had just said goodbye to each other, acknowledging formally that their relationship had changed forever. Although Merlin had known for months that the relationship was over, he was overwhelmed by the intense emotions of the formal farewell.

As soon as he entered Hunith’s cottage, he looked for Arthur. Merlin found his lover in the room they shared, relaxing on the bed. Merlin joined him on the bed and said, “Hold me, please.” 

Arthur obliged and grabbed Merlin in a tight embrace. “You OK, cariad?” he asked.

“Yes, just a difficult, emotional farewell with Will,” Merlin explained. “I’ll be OK.”

“Want to talk about it?” Arthur inquired. 

“No, not really. I just needed to hear your voice and feel your arms around me. I love you, Arthur.”

“Love you too, Merlin.”

They held each other close on the small bed, enjoying this precious moment in time, just the two of them sharing comfort and love. 

*****

At about 6 p.m. Hunith, Merlin and Arthur started on the half-mile walk to Gaius’s cottage for a take-away supper of fish and chips and an evening playing Scrabble. Hunith and Gaius were avid Scrabble players and very competitive. Merlin had been playing with them since he was about 8 or 9 years old. His Scrabble skills had improved through the years to the point where he was now able to win almost as often as Hunith or Gaius did. 

Initially Merlin was concerned that Arthur might not be as experienced a Scrabble player as the Ealdorans or enjoy the high level of competition that characterized their games. He needn't have worried. Arthur assured Merlin that Scrabble had also been a popular game at the manse. Apparently, Uther and Morgana had taken as much delight in winning at Scrabble as did Hunith and Gaius. Naturally, Merlin was curious to see what would unfold this evening and hoped that, at least for Arthur’s benefit, mum and Uncle Gaius would refrain from getting too cutthroat.

Gaius’s cottage was quite inviting. The sofa and armchairs in his parlor were soft and cozy, comfortably arranged around a blazing fire in a beautiful fireplace made of earth-toned stones. Adorning the walls were Essetir landscapes painted by local artists. Gaius’s surgery was in an attached structure adjacent to his living quarters. He gave Arthur a brief tour of the surgery before suppertime. 

“Fish and chips and mushy peas, just what Doctor Ambrose ordered,” Arthur joked as the family started enjoying the take-away meal. 

“Yes, so good,” Hunith agreed. “It’s been a while, and I have been craving this, I must admit.”

Holding up his glass, Merlin added, “And this ESB is a perfect beverage to complement our classic meal. A toast to fish and chips, mushy peas, ESB, and family!”

Everyone laughed. “To fish and chips, mushy peas, ESB and family!” they echoed.

After supper Gaius brought out the Scrabble board. They ended up playing two games. Hunith won the first game, after making the word “QUIZ” on a triple word score with the letter Z on a double letter score, earning a total of 96 points on that play alone. Gaius, Arthur and Merlin groaned, knowing that there was no way they could beat Hunith after that play.

Arthur won the next game, after adding the letters VAGABON to the letter D that was already on the board. His word VAGABOND was on a double word score, and the letters V and G were placed on double letter scores. This yielded a total score of 38 for the word VAGABOND, plus Arthur earned 50 bonus points for using all 7 letters, resulting in a total of 88 points. 

Merlin gave Arthur a mock glare and said, “Really? You had to go and do that?”

Arthur grinned at him and said, “Don’t be a sore loser, Merlin.”

Gaius sighed and said to Merlin, “I guess it wasn’t our night, lad. We’ll have to challenge these two tossers to a rematch the next time you visit.”

Hunith chimed in then, “Tossers? Must you resort to vulgar insults, Gaius, just because you were defeated by your betters?” Turning to Arthur she said, “Come, Arthur dear, let’s go find some dessert and leave these two to lick their wounds.”

Gaius and Merlin laughed, as Arthur followed Hunith into the kitchen. The winners returned a few minutes later with bowls of ice cream. 

“This should provide some comfort in the face of defeat,” Hunith said with grin, handing one bowl to Gaius and another bowl to Merlin.

The family spent the rest of the evening relaxing by the fire and conversing amicably about politics and social issues. At about 10 p.m. they all decided to call it a night. After exchanging warm goodbyes with Gaius, the three guests headed back to Hunith’s cottage.


	23. Last Full Day in Ealdor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur enjoy their last full day in Ealdor and depart for Camelot the next morning.

Merlin and Arthur woke up to another bright, sunny winter morning. Today would be their last full day in Ealdor before returning to Camelot. It had been a few days since they had last made love, for several reasons. The main reason was that both men felt some hesitation about being intimate in Hunith’s home, likely due to a residual adolescent fear of parental disapproval. Another reason was that neither the small twin bed nor the cot in the room they shared was conducive to comfortable lovemaking. 

This morning, however, their longing for each other had grown so strong that no obstacle to intimacy had any chance of keeping their bodies apart. Immediately upon awakening Merlin left his cot and joined Arthur on the twin bed, pressing his lips urgently against Arthur’s. Their kisses were rough and demanding, declarations of their intense need for each other, Arthur biting Merlin’s lips slightly harder, and Merlin thrusting his tongue in Arthur’s mouth more aggressively than ever before.

Shucking off their boxers, they pressed their hard cocks together, never breaking the wanton clash of lips, teeth and tongues. Grinding against Arthur, Merlin explored Arthur’s hips, thighs and arse with his hands, delighting in the feeling of his lover’s hot, hard body. 

“Merlin,” Arthur murmured, breaking away from the impassioned kiss. “Suck my cock.”

Merlin gave him a lustful grin. “Yes, sire,” he said, scooting down the bed and putting his mouth on Arthur’s engorged member. He swallowed Arthur’s cock almost down to the root. 

“Yes, just like that,” came Arthur’s sexy whisper. “You’re a gifted cocksucker, you are.”

Merlin continued to pleasure Arthur, alternately deep-throating and teasing the tip of Arthur’s cock with his tongue. Not wanting to climax yet, Arthur touched Merlin’s shoulders. After weeks of lovemaking, Merlin understood that this was Arthur’s signal to stop. 

“My turn,” Arthur said, reversing their positions. He immediately went down on Merlin and began licking and sucking his cock with vigor. Merlin moaned as Arthur alternated between tonguing the tip and licking the entire length. Arthur then grabbed the base of Merlin’s cock and began to simultaneously suck and stroke it. 

“Oh my God, Pendragon!” Merlin gasped. 

Rising up from his position, Arthur grinned. He loved when Merlin said his surname in the throes of passion, and he felt pleased and proud that he could give Merlin so much sexual pleasure. 

“Don’t want you to come yet,” Arthur whispered. “Do we have a condom and lube?”

“Of course,” Merlin replied with a smile. “I’m always prepared.” He reached into his travel bag and retrieved a condom packet and a container of lube. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Arthur said. 

Merlin nodded eagerly. He put a generous amount of lube on his fingers and lubricated Arthur’s opening, gently and gradually inserting his long, slender fingers one at a time. When Arthur was sufficiently opened up and relaxed, he lay on his back and lifted his legs onto Merlin’s shoulders. Merlin guided his cock and pressed it to Arthur’s entrance. He pushed in ever so slowly. Arthur gasped and gave him a signal to pause. Then when Arthur nodded, Merlin continued to push into Arthur. When Arthur indicated with a gesture that he was ready, Merlin began thrusting, balancing with one hand and simultaneously stroking Arthur’s erect cock with his other hand. 

“Yeah, fuck me good,” Arthur shouted. “Oh, Merlin, I’m gonna shoot my load!”

“Don’t hold back, shoot it for me,” Merlin shouted back.

As Arthur climaxed, jizz exploding all over his pecs, Merlin could feel Arthur’s sphincter muscles tighten on his cock, and then, deep inside of Arthur, he came with an intense shudder, filling the condom with what felt like an enormous load. Exhausted Merlin flopped onto his back next to Arthur and looked into his lover’s eyes. “Cariad,” was all he said. Arthur smiled at him contentedly.

They lay together for a few minutes, breathing heavily. “I suppose we should get cleaned up, huh?” Arthur said with a laugh, pointing to his sticky chest. 

“Shower together?” Merlin suggested. Arthur nodded. They showered quickly, washing the sex and sweat from each other’s bodies, then dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast.

*****

The remainder of their last full day in Camelot was relaxing and uneventful. They went for a long walk with Hunith and talked about favorite places in the UK and abroad, and places they had not yet seen but would like to visit someday. Arthur encouraged Hunith to visit Camelot and promised her a grand tour of the University and the town. He recommended that she plan a visit at the end of Spring semester. 

“The weather should be perfect then,” Arthur said, “and Merlin and I will be done with exams, so we should have plenty of time to show you around. My dad should also be less busy then, so he can roll out the red carpet for you.“

Hunith laughed. “You talked me into it. I’ll mark it in my calendar—late May in Camelot. Sounds delightful.” 

The next morning Gaius came over to say farewell to Merlin and Arthur. Hunith served them all breakfast—blueberry pancakes, maple syrup, and pots of coffee and tea. 

“We decided yesterday that Hunith will be visiting Camelot in late May,” Arthur said. “You must come too, Gaius, if only to see Uther again.”

“Yes, Uncle Gaius, you have to come,” Merlin said. “Not only can you reconnect with your old friend from Cambridge, but I can also show you around the medical school and introduce you to some of the faculty. I’m sure you would enjoy that.”

“I believe I can be persuaded,” Gaius said with a smile, “if only to see you lovely lads again.”

After breakfast Merlin and Arthur packed their bags and prepared to depart. The family members exchanged kisses, hugs and warm sentiments. The young men loaded up the vehicle and waved at Hunith and Gaius as they started on their journey home to Camelot.


	24. Merlin and Balinor Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balinor comes to Camelot. He and Merlin spend several days getting acquainted. .

After returning to Camelot, Arthur and Merlin got into a comfortable winter break routine. They enjoyed the opportunity to relax and unwind, free from the stress of reading requirements, written assignments, exams, and due dates. Some of their friends had not yet returned to Camelot from holidays with their families, but during the first few days of January Arthur and Merlin enjoyed getting together with Gwaine and Percy and with Morgana and Leon. They expected most of their other friends would start trickling back to Camelot closer to the start of the Spring semester on January 17th. 

Merlin was particularly excited about Balinor’s upcoming visit. His father was due to arrive in Camelot in the late afternoon or early evening of Thursday, January 5th, and Merlin couldn’t wait. He kept his calendar completely free during the two full days Balinor would be in Camelot. He figured that he would wait to see how Balinor preferred to spend the time between his arrival on the 5th and his return to London on the 8th. Of course Merlin wanted Balinor to meet Arthur and his family, but they could figure that out after Balinor arrived. He also thought it would be nice for Balinor to meet Arthur’s Japanese friend Hiroshi, who played an important role in connecting father and son. Merlin himself had never met Hiroshi and wanted to thank him in person.

The days passed quickly. At about 5 p.m. Merlin received a text from Balinor. “Just checked in at the Rising Sun. Meet me here for supper at 7 p.m.?” Merlin texted back, “I’ll meet you in the dining room.” It was a short walk from his flat to the Rising Sun Inn in downtown Camelot. At 7 p.m. on the dot he walked into the three-story Tudor style building and made his way to the dining room. 

Merlin had no problem recognizing Balinor. It was like seeing an older version of himself. Balinor was right when he wrote that Merlin had his long, lean frame, dark hair, and high cheekbones. The main difference between the two was in their eyes. Balinor’s brown eyes were warm and gentle, while Merlin’s blue eyes, flecked with gold, were bright and penetrating. 

Balinor rose as soon as he saw Merlin enter the room. He rushed over to Merlin, throwing his arms around him in a tight embrace. “I am beyond delighted to finally meet you,” he proclaimed. 

Merlin found his voice after a few seconds. “Likewise,” he said, “I have been looking forward to your arrival for days now.” Balinor smiled. 

They spent the next two hours sharing their life stories over dinner. Merlin told Balinor all about his youth in Ealdor, his college years at Avalon University, and how he came to study medicine at Camelot. He talked about his close friends and lovers through the years, describing his breakup with Will in August and his new relationship with Arthur. 

“I’d like you to meet Arthur and his family while you’re here,” Merlin said, “but of course only if you’d like to.” 

“I would be delighted to meet them, Merlin,” Balinor said. 

Balinor told Merlin a few stories about his youth, how he and Hunith met, and what he had been up to since they separated. He said that ever since he was a child he had been fascinated by tales about dragons.

“So many cultures have stories and myths about dragons, and I became obsessed by them,” Balinor said. I read everything about dragons that I could get my hands on. I drew them, later I carved them, and then about ten years ago I started coming up with ideas for the Ryuomo series.”

“What gave you the idea of a Japanese dragon lord?” Merlin asked.

“Well, in my obsession about all things dragon-related, I stumbled across several books about Asian dragon myths,” Balinor explained. “I had also become familiar with the Japanese Manga genre, and one day the idea just came to me—to create an action hero who could speak to and command dragons. It made sense to make him Japanese because I was envisioning him as a Manga action hero. And the rest, as they say, is history.”

“What I don’t understand,” Merlin said, “is how you were able to hook up with people in Japan who publish Manga series. You said that you’re not fluent in Japanese, and you had never lived in Japan before.”

“That’s right,” Balinor said with a glint in his eye, “and that’s when the magic and the serendipity enter the story. So I had been doing my wood carving for many years, making a modest living, all the while trying to develop my skills and learn new techniques. After your mum and I separated, I moved to Glasgow. To my surprise in Glasgow there was a master inami wood carver named Tatsuya Inagaki. Inami is a traditional Japanese wood carving artform. Each piece is exquisitely beautiful, carved out of a single piece of wood. I admired Tatsuya more than any other artist I'd met. We became good friends.”

Balinor continued, “One day I told Tatsuya about my Dragon Lord idea. He got all excited and said that the Japanese term for Dragon Lord is “Ryuomo." He wrote down the Japanese characters for Dragon Lord. He said he had friends in Osaka who worked in the Manga business and who might be interested in my idea. At first I was skeptical, but Tatsuya believed in the idea so strongly that I agreed to Skype with his friends in Osaka. Tatsuya served as translator, and eventually the Ryuomo series was born.”

“That’s an amazing story, Balinor,” Merlin said in astonishment. “Everything falling in place in synchronistic fashion leading you to a brilliant new career. Your fascination with dragons that led you to explore Asian dragon myths. Your interest in Manga that prompted your idea of a Japanese Dragon Lord. Your wood working skills leading you to befriend Tatsuya, who just happened to have friends in the Manga business in Osaka. You weren’t kidding about magic and serendipity entering the story! Not just entering, I’d say, but permeating the story.”

“Yes, it’s been quite a remarkable ride, Merlin,” Balinor reflected. “Sounds like your life has also been quite remarkable.”

“Yes, I guess it has, dad,” Merlin said. He realized that this was his first time calling Balinor "dad." It came as a surprise, but somehow it felt right.

Father and son soon realized that they were both pretty knackered and it was time to hit the hay. Merlin told Balinor that he had cleared his schedule for the next two days. Balinor said he would call Merlin right after breakfast and they would make plans for tomorrow. They embraced warmly before parting.

*****

The next two and a half days of Balinor’s visit were extremely full for father and son. Merlin gave Balinor a grand tour of the campus and the town, during which they continued to share anecdotes about their lives. At one point Merlin brought up the topic of Hunith.

“Mum isn’t ready to see you in person,” Merlin said, “but she isn’t opposed to receiving an email from you. However, she can’t promise that she would respond to an email. How do you feel about contacting her?”

Balinor took a few moments before responding. Eventually he said, “After Hunith kicked me out of our home all those years ago, I was tempted to reach out to her so many times. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had been such a shameless cheater and she was better off without me. Now that we haven’t seen each other in more than 20 years, it feels . . ." Balinor hesitated, then finished his thought, "I don’t know what I would say to her.”

“I understand,” Merlin replied. “And I can’t say what’s right for you or for mum. But it’s clear there’s huge unfinished business between you. Closure may not be possible. Still, it feels really weird that you and I met and are finally getting acquainted, while you and mum remain estranged.”

“I can see how that would feel weird,” Balinor replied. “I need to think about this some more, and I’ll let you know what I decide.”

“That would be great, dad,” Merlin said. "I understand that it's complicated."

Merlin scheduled a luncheon date for Balinor to meet Arthur. Arthur offered to invite Hiroshi to join them so that both Merlin and Balinor could meet the young man who had helped to connect them. Balinor took an instant shine to Arthur, impressed by the lad’s obvious intelligence, conversational skills and poise.

Both Merlin and Balinor were delighted to meet Hiroshi, a friendly and sociable young man with a wonderful sense of humor. Merlin thanked Hiroshi profusely for helping him contact his father through the Ryuomo website. Balinor greeted Hiroshi and conversed with him briefly in Japanese, their exchange being unintelligible to Merlin and Arthur.

Balinor explained how the Ryuomo team was interested in creating an English version of the series. He and Hiroshi discussed some of the challenges of translating Japanese Manga dialogue into English, and how humor was particularly difficult to translate. Balinor gave Hiroshi his business card and invited Hiroshi to contact him if he had any interest in contributing to the translation effort. Hiroshi accepted the business card with both hands and bowed, in polite Japanese fashion.

Uther extended a kind invitation to Balinor and Merlin to lunch the following day at the Camelot University Faculty Dining Hall. Uther had also invited Arthur, Morgana and Leon. Uther and Balinor got along famously. Balinor peppered Uther with all kinds of questions about the duties of a University Chancellor, while Uther interviewed Balinor about dragon lore and the world of Japanese Manga publishing. Balinor was already enchanted by Arthur, and became equally captivated by Morgana and Leon. He was extremely gratified to know that Merlin had such a brilliant partner and such lovely in-laws.

Although Balinor genuinely enjoyed the time spent meeting the important people in Merlin’s life, most precious to him was the alone time with Merlin. Father and son took full advantage of the opportunity to get acquainted, and their time together during this visit engendered an emotional bond that promised to grow and strengthen in the future. 

January 8th came all too soon, and it was time for Balinor to return to London. With tears in their eyes, father and son held each other tightly before parting. Merlin promised to visit Balinor in London sometime after Spring semester, and they made tentative plans to spend time in Japan together during the summer. Arthur was particularly excited about the prospect of visiting Japan with his lover and future father-in-law. 

Before taking his leave, Balinor said to Merlin, “I have taken to heart what you said about my estrangement from your mother. I have decided to send a message to her soon. I don’t know what will come of it, but I wanted you to know that I will do what I can to heal the old wounds.” 

“Thank you, Dad,” Merlin said with deep affection and gratitude.


	25. Epilogue - Several Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several years have passed since Balinor and Merlin first met. Arthur and Merlin are living in London. They travel to Camelot for their wedding ceremony and reception.

Several years had passed since Merlin and Balinor first met at the Rising Sun Inn in Camelot. So much had happened in the intervening years. Merlin had completed his course of study at Camelot U and was now finishing his sub-specialty training in pediatric oncology in London. Arthur had earned his MBA and was working as a product manager for Kingsbridge Neurological Services, a research and development company focused on the treatment of conditions affecting brain health. 

The couple was now living in London, sharing a comfortable three-bedroom flat in Chelsea. Whenever Balinor was in London, Arthur and Merlin would see him regularly, sometimes inviting him for supper at their Chelsea flat, and at other times visiting Balinor’s home in Islington. About once each season Hunith and Gaius would drive from Ealdor and spend a few days in Arthur’s and Merlin’s guest quarters. 

Soon after meeting Merlin in Camelot, Balinor had emailed Hunith. Writing from the heart, he apologized profusely to Hunith for the pain he had caused her years ago. He also wrote about his profound love for Merlin and thanked Hunith for raising their son to be such an impressive, remarkable young man. It took Hunith some time, but eventually her heart softened, and she came to forgive Balinor. In time they agreed to file for divorce, and Hunith went back to using her maiden name. 

Arthur’s and Merlin’s London flat had become a central gathering place for their extended family. Morgana and Leon would occasionally visit London on weekends and were always welcome to stay. Although Uther’s busy schedule did not permit frequent trips to London, he stayed in touch with the couple via weekly phone calls. Uther’s personality had continued to undergo a sea change. Even though Arthur and Merlin were more than financially solvent, Uther ensured that they were able to enjoy an affluent lifestyle, purchasing extravagant gifts for them on a regular basis. This was a radically different Uther from the one who had refused to pay Arthur’s tuition at Camelot. 

The most exciting development for the couple was that they were soon to be married. The invitations, which had been mailed to almost five hundred people, read: 

Together with their families  
Arthur Cador Pendragon and Merlin Gandalf Emrys  
Request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage  
Saturday, May 23, 2026  
4 o’clock in the afternoon at Saint Bryvyth Chapel  
Reception to follow at the Great Hall  
Camelot University

May 23rd turned out to be a lovely day. Merlin and Arthur had traveled from London to Camelot the day before and were staying with Uther at the manse. They had designed their marriage ceremony to please themselves rather than to conform to tradition. They were ecstatic that so many friends and family members had traveled to Camelot to celebrate their special day. 

St. Bryvyth Chapel was a beautiful English Gothic building with stunning stained-glass windows depicting scenes from both the Old and the New Testaments. The Reverend Graham Dawson, chaplain at Camelot University officiated. Standing in the sanctuary next to Reverend Dawson were Merlin’s and Arthur’s families. Uther, Morgana and Leon stood on Reverend Dawson’s right side, while Balinor, Hunith and Gaius stood on the Reverend’s left side. Also standing by were Gwaine and Percy, looking very handsome in their form-fitting tuxedos, ready to perform the dual function of groomsmen and ring bearers. 

Merlin and Arthur had hired the excellent Camelot Chamber Ensemble and a brilliant baritone from the Camelot Chorale to perform the processional and recessional. The singer, Andrew Bowman, had been a classmate of Merlin’s in the Camelot medical programme. The couple had chosen “A Thousand Years” as the wedding processional. The song’s lyrics held special significance to Arthur and Merlin, both men sharing an uncanny feeling that they had lived a past life together and had waited many years to come together again. 

When the music started, Merlin and Arthur entered the Great Hall. They looked amazing, dressed in matching tuxedos. Arthur wore the cufflinks and tie pin that had belonged to his maternal grandfather—the set Uther had given him at Christmas years ago. The ivory and onyx St. Piran’s flag design blended elegantly with his tuxedo. As usual Merlin was wearing the dragon necklace Balinor had made, but today he wore it outside his clothing so that it was clearly visible above his tuxedo vest. 

Smiling and holding hands, Merlin and Arthur walked down the aisle to the sanctuary, where their friends and family members stood beaming and welcoming. At the conclusion of the processional Reverend Dawson welcomed the congregation and then spoke eloquently about Arthur’s and Merlin’s deep love and commitment to each other and their profound sense of honor and duty. He described how their relationship had made them both stronger, braver, and wiser. He then invited Merlin and Arthur to recite their vows. 

Merlin spoke about what Arthur meant to him and how much he valued their relationship. He said, “Arthur, you are my life, my prince, my king. I dedicate myself to you forever. You enrich my life with your courage, strength, and love, making me a better person. I continually marvel at your wisdom and insight. I am in awe of your dedication to making our world a better place. I vow always to do whatever I can to support, protect and love you. I am honored to have been chosen as your friend, your lover, your life partner. I promise to constantly strive to be worthy of that honor.” 

Tears streamed down Arthur’s face as he heard Merlin’s words. When it was his turn to speak, he said, “Merlin, you brought magic into my life and taught me how important it is to be honest, brave, and true to oneself. I’m inspired by the depth of your compassion and commitment to healing. I’m enchanted by your infectious humor and easy laugh. Every day I see how people are drawn to the bright light of your kind and generous nature. I could not help falling in love with you, and I am eternally grateful that you love me too. I commit myself to you forever.” Merlin’s eyes welled up and a single tear trickled down his cheek. 

After the exchange of vows, Gwaine and Percy stepped forward and presented the gold wedding bands to Merlin and Arthur. Merlin accepted the ring from Percy, placed it on Arthur’s finger and said, “Arthur, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” 

Arthur then accepted the ring from Gwaine, placed it on Merlin’s finger and said, “Merlin, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” 

The couple then leaned into a passionate kiss, and Reverend Dawson pronounced them married. The congregation burst into applause. The friends and family members in the sanctuary then gathered around the couple, and congratulatory kisses and hugs were exchanged. 

Merlin had made what some considered an unusual choice for the recessional, the Beatles song “I Want To Hold Your Hand.” It turned out to be perfect. Performed by the chamber ensemble and Andrew Bowman, the song became a soulful romantic ballad. Merlin and Arthur held hands, smiling and nodding at their guests, as they walked down the aisle from the sanctuary toward the alcove. Merlin couldn’t stop himself from singing along with Andrew Bowman, “And when I touch you I feel happy inside, it’s such a feeling that my love I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hide.” 

Arthur and Merlin emerged from St. Bryvyth Chapel into brilliant sunshine. With their family members they formed a receiving line and graciously greeted their guests who were streaming out of the chapel. The young men were thrilled to see that so many friends and acquaintances had come to Camelot to celebrate their marriage. The wedding party welcomed and thanked each of the nearly five hundred guests with warm hugs and handshakes. 

After the ceremony, hosts and guests made their way to the Camelot University Great Hall, which had been extravagantly decorated for the reception. Hanging from the hall's high ceilings were crimson and gold banners, an image of Kilgarah adorning each banner. Fifty round tables had been set up along three sides of the huge hall. Each table held ten elegant place settings and a centerpiece of lovely crimson and gold flowers. The fourth side of the hall was reserved for the musicians—the chamber group that would perform during dinner, and the rock band that would perform after the last course. The center of the hall would serve as the dance floor. 

Dinner was served as soon as the wedding party and guests were seated at their assigned tables. The servers, elegantly attired in black and white uniforms with accents of crimson and gold, were astonishingly efficient, attending to everyone’s needs promptly. The food and drink were excellent, and the servers made sure to keep the wine glasses filled. Stronger beverages were served at several open bar stations throughout the large hall. 

Shortly after the dessert course was cleared and coffee and tea were served, the rock band took the stage. The name of the rock band was Beltane Bonfires, and it was fronted by two singers, a young man and a young woman. All the band members wore black hipster clothing, which included a jet black tee-shirt. A few tee-shirts were emblazoned with images of Kilgarah, the golden dragon, while the other tee-shirts were adorned with images of blazing orange bonfires. The band leaders invited Merlin and Arthur to have the first dance. 

The couple rose and strode confidently to the center of the hall, and the band started to play the song, “I Knew You Were Waiting for Me.” Merlin and Arthur held each other close and began moving effortlessly to the music. When the singers began the chorus, Arthur whispered the words in Merlin’s ear: "When the river was deep, I didn't falter, when the mountain was high, I still believed, when the valley was low, it didn't stop me, no, no, I knew you were waiting, I knew you were waiting for me." 

At the end of the song, applause rang out throughout the Great Hall. Merlin and Arthur grinned, made bows in jest, and then invited their family members and guests to join them on the dance floor. 

Afterwards many guests remarked that it was the best party they had ever attended. Spirits continued to flow throughout the evening, and people danced into the wee hours. Arthur and Merlin were overjoyed to reconnect with so many good friends they hadn’t seen in a while. 

The couple did not get back to Uther's manse until 5 a.m. It had been the longest day ever for both men. But a completely magical day they would never forget. 

“Don’t know if I can sleep tonight, I mean this morning, I’m so wired,” Merlin said. 

“Me too,” Arthur replied, “but we should at least try.” Merlin nodded. 

They helped each other out of their formal clothes, stripping down to their boxers. They turned off the lights and climbed into the king bed, snuggling under the luxurious bedding. 

“Thanks for making this the best day of my life,” Arthur said. “I love you so much, Merlin.” 

"You are my destiny, Mr. Pendragon,” Merlin said. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Finally finished this story, my first attempt at fan fiction. Now to do a final proofread and correct any typos I can find. Thanks for reading! Here's a link to a YouTube playlist of songs mentioned in this story:   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtOvBOTyX00&list=PLcnMWYFWq5fUBKp8z55A8RkE6yS1RdLuF


End file.
